One Last Dream
by Gw3nhwyfar
Summary: This is the story of Lucky McKensie as she makes her way home in the aftermath of the world's end. Forewarning: This is a tragedy and eventually there will be some graphic romance, so if you are not into death or sex, skip this one ;P
1. Chapter 1

"Ahh! It's another beautiful day in paradise!" I said, stretching my arms over my head as I waited for my clothes to dry. Freddy snorted as he let loose a fresh arrow.

"That was a ten point shot, I think. Let's see you beat that!" He said giving my arm a playful punch.

"Right you are, my dear Frederick!" I picked up my composite recurve bow and ran my hand over the wood and bone I had lovingly set myself, smiling as I recalled how my father had patiently overseen its construction. Nocking my arrow, I picked a walker about 500 feet away and pulled the string across my cheek. The satisfying "twang" ran up my arm as the arrow made a sloppy gushing sound into the eye of my target. "Aww, big brother, maybe it isn't such a beautiful day for you after all!"

"Hmm, pure luck." He muttered, still admiring my perfect shot. "I am sure I'll get more than you on our way back out to the bikes." He shouldered his crossbow and made his way to the hatch that led from the roof down to the main level of the Laundromat.

"You'll have to, Freddy; otherwise this trip will be nothing but an embarrassment for you. I mean, just think of that girl in San Antonio! You totally could have been on that, but you were all "_I think weapons are so versatile, just think of all of their uses, even in the bedroom."_ I mean seriously, Freddy! What the fuck were you thinking?" I heard the slap of his face against his palm before the hatch slammed shut and enjoyed yet another victory.

The world may have ended, but those amongst the living must get their pleasures where they can, and nothing could be more satisfying for a younger sister than knowing just how to get under your big brothers' skin.

I stared down into the newly reduced hoard of walkers roaming the street. Not too many left, not that there were that many before. We had chosen to stop here because it seemed so untouched, barely any dead and even less looting, the electricity even worked! The fresh supplies and clothes were like heaven after spending so much time on the road in hell, and don't even get me started on the showers! We had spent a week here, living like kings in the stately houses lining streets now covered with the motionless corpses Freddy and I left behind.

And, of course, there was the looting. It wasn't the stealing that I loved, but the idea that I could do whatever I wanted, and there was no one there to tell me no. I loved dancing through racks of clothes, throwing on whatever I wanted right then and there.

I was pulled out of my reverie by the sound of engines. I spied the caravan as it turned the corner on to Mills street and made its way slowly towards me. I tugged my braids pensively, there were not too many people left in the world and even fewer good ones. I prayed this encounter wouldn't lead to trouble as I made my way down to tell my brother the news; I really hated killing people that were still alive.

"Well, what do you say? Feeling lucky?" Freddy asked, eyeing the Winnebago leading in the short caravan.

I rolled my eyes. "Always." The noise from their engines were drawing unwanted attention from dead onlookers, they'd have a hard time making it out of their cars now if they wanted to. "Shall we lend them a hand, brother dearest?"

"And leave ourselves open in the event they aren't as friendly as you hope?" He gave me a disapproving look.

"You know what they say; Do unto others…" I said, pulling a chain and club from my bag and packing my belt with a few knives and a kilij before holstering an AK74 over the recurve across my shoulder.

"Right, you know, sometimes I hate what a do-gooder you are." He loaded more arrows into his quiver and sheathed his scimitar before ruffling my hair and kicking the Laundromat door open.

There is nothing more exhilarating as close combat with a few more walkers than the average person would be able to handle. It isn't really a good feeling, knowing that, at any second, my brother or I could be zombie fodder- or worse; but there is nothing else in the world that can give you an adrenaline rush quite like it. I wrapped necks in chain with a flick of my wrist, pulling them just within reach to crush their skulls with my club before sending their lifeless bodies to the ground with another flick. A good technique, until a grotesquely large corpse grabbed my chain hand; pulling it in to his dribbling bloody mouth for a bite when Freddy got him in that big gaping maw with an arrow. I vowed never to make fun of his archery skills again, but quickly took it back, knowing I wouldn't make it to the end of the day.

Without my chain, my club was useless because I would have to get within biting distance to use it. I threw it at a slight walker in a flimsy nightgown, hoping to get one last good bash with it; it glanced off her shoulder, leaving her crippled but still lethal. _Damn it!_ I grasped the blade of one of my throwing knives and flung it at her head, making it whip back with a sickening "thunk" before she sank to the sidewalk. I pulled out my kilij and began a slash and stab campaign, decapitating the undead one by one and finishing them off with a quick thrust through the eye.

A dull whistle by my head threw me off my guard and I nearly stumbled over a freshly beheaded corpse; quickly glancing over my shoulder, I saw a lithe wisp of a girl on top of a truck already poised to throw another knife. _"Thank God, there are other people who know how to fight; and they are smart enough to not pull their guns out right away too!"_ But, of course, I had only had time to formulate the thought when a group of muscled men scrambled out of their various vehicles with loaded fire power. I sighed. _"Men are such losers!" _The first shot had all of the walkers turning their way.

"Do you have more people?" I called to the closest of the newcomers, a burly bald black guy in a white tee shirt.

"Yeah, three more women, an older guy and two kids." He replied, blasting the head off a corpse that wandered too close.

"Kids? Oh, jeez, we couldn't do things the easy way, huh?" I ripped through a zombie's neck and up into its brain with my sword, kicking it away in disgust. "Look, you're going to have to go and get them. Carry the kids into the Laundromat while Freddy and I cover you. We can bar the door behind us." He nodded and ran back to the Winnebago; I made my way to my brother and filled him in on plan in between kills.

"Get inside!" I yelled at the others, waving them towards the Laundromat and cutting down any attackers along the way. Freddy had already gone back to the camper to cut a path for the women and children, I brought up the rear; shutting the door firmly behind me, chaining it and blocking it with an old broken down washing machine for good measure. "It's a pleasure to meet you!" I smiled, brushing an unruly strand of blue hair out of my face.

"What the hell was that?" Asked one of the men, wiping a hand across his mouth before shoving it through his dark wavy hair.

"That, my friend was the welcome wagon, and judging by the turnout, the locals must really want to get to know you." I said, instantly becoming defensive at his aggressive attitude. "And you are very welcome for the help, by the way."

"What Shane means to say is that we've never seen anybody fight like that." The older man stepped in front of his companion, an unsure smile on his face. "We do thank you for the help; it was just a shock is all."

"Yeah. Sorry we didn't join you sooner, I was just kind of sitting slack jawed watching you, it was amazing how you move!" The girl with the knives said with animated appreciation.

"Meh." I shrugged. "Our daddy is a weapons expert; he spent most of our childhoods making us learn how to fight. I guess it was time well spent, eh?" I gave what I hoped was an encouraging smile. "I'm just glad you guys aren't the usual pillaging brutes." I eyed them with false suspicion. "You aren't the usual pillaging brutes are you?"

"Definitely not." The old man said amicably. "Not that we would tell _you_ if we were." He laughed, the tiny girl and children giggled along with him. Everyone else gave an uncomfortable half smile.

"Well, I really am pleased to meet you. It isn't everyday you get to meet someone new who isn't trying to eat you." I rummaged through one of my bags, pulling out some scavenged canned goods. " I'm Lucy Mackensie and this is my half brother Freddy." I nodded at him before holding the food out at the group.

They introduced themselves in turns before taking a can, as if it were some kind of requirement for the gift I was giving. The older man was Dale, he owned the Winnebago and wondered if there were any way to get parts for it in the area; I told him we scouted a place that sold RVs not too far away and I could take him if he liked. A blonde woman in her thirties called herself Andrea, she didn't say too much and stayed close to Dale.

The knife girl shook my hand enthusiastically as she introduced the blonde man at her side as Daryl and begged me to show her how to use my "big knife". I told her it was called a kilij and it was the sword Vlad the Impaler used to bring down the Ottoman Empire, cautiously letting her hold it until she started swishing it around. Daryl referred to her as "songbird" when he scolded her for not being careful.

A shy lady with her hair buzzed short came forward and told me her name was Carol and her daughter was Sofia. Sofia decided she wanted to tell me that Carl was her friend as she presented the other child to me, a boy with brown hair and freckles. His mother presented herself as Lori and gave a hard look at the man to her right as he stepped forward to shake my hand, saying his name was Rick.

The black man told me to call him T-Dog and asked how long we had been here.

"About a week, we were traveling from San Antonio when we ran out of gas. I guess we must have gotten a little too comfortable. Haven't really had the nerve to leave yet." Freddy chimed in, his shoulders hung low. It startled me; I had never seen him look so tired and defeated.

"Don't be so hard on yourself; surviving is hard enough on you." T-Dog said in a quiet voice before setting himself down on a bench, his own shoulders sunken.

An Asian-American guy in a blue tee shirt with "NERDS HAVE MORE FUN" printed across it piped up after the silence that followed, telling us his name was Glenn and asking where the bathroom was. I smiled, yes; the world still goes on, potty breaks and all. I tipped my head in the direction of the lavatory with a wink.

Finally, the dark haired guy sullenly said his name was Shane. I noted that he kept glancing at Lori, obviously wanting her. I smiled at him for appearances as I handed him the can of stew and inwardly cringed as his hand brushed against mine; this guy had some serious negative vibes rolling off of him.

"So where are you guys headed?" I asked, ripping into a box of Cheese Nips.

"We aren't quite sure yet." Rick answered with a cautious look towards his wife. "Thought we might head west and see if we could find somewhere safe to spend the winter."

"Mmm." I agreed through a mouthful of crackers.

"Well, good luck with that." Freddy cut in quickly. He gave me a warning look, knowing what I was about to do. I swallowed hard and took a swig of water, pleading with him silently. Who knew how many survivors were out there, let alone good people. I could feel their eyes on us as we had our non-conversation, but I kept my eyes on Freddy, wearing him down. He finally looked away with a huff, conceding.

I turned back to the others with a smile. "So, we kind of have this safe haven we're headed to. Our dad's place; it's out in Kansas."

"Kansas?" Shane interrupted. "But you said you were coming from San Antonio. What are you doing in Mississippi?"

"Lucky is a bit of a softie." Freddy answered. "She wanted to rescue her mother." He had the good grace to look like he cared, dropping his gaze to the floor. "But we had been holed up in that convention center in Texas for almost a month."

"I had to try!" I realized how defeated I felt and pushed myself up off the floor, suddenly needing to move around. "I was such a crappy daughter before-" I trailed off, very aware of how selfish and dangerous this trip had been. "Besides, it wasn't a waste; we got all of those weapons from the house and stocked up on food."

Freddy grabbed my wrist and pulled me close, resting his cheek on my head. "I didn't mean it like that, kiddo."

After a few long moments of uncomfortable silence, Daryl cleared his throat. "So, what's so great about this place in Kansas?"

My eyes lit up and I felt a smile creeping back onto my face. "Well, my dad happens to be a veritable genius! He built this fortress years ago, absolutely sure that some disaster was bound to happen. I can guarantee no walkers will get inside it."

"Those are big promises coming from a kid with blue hair." Daryl sounded unconvinced. "What makes you so sure?"

"Have you ever seen a walker dig?" I jutted my chin up, sure I had won the argument. From the looks on their faces I could see that no one got my joke, but then Songbird jumped up.

"It's underground!" For some reason that made her happy in the extreme.

"Uh, yeah." I said, confused by her reaction. "I suppose you could say that my dad is kind of a paranoid underground survivalist. He was in Vietnam and got hit pretty bad with some tear gas, after that he never really trusted the government or people as a whole after that." I noticed that the majority of the group was giving me an odd look, as if I had said something crazy. Everyone except for Songbird, who looked so excited I thought she would burst.

"And would your father be okay with a group of strangers just showing up?" Dale inquired

"Considering that most of civilization has fallen and that you would be with us, I think that he would be happy to see some new faces." Freddy said

"I know James will, he has always hated how antisocial daddy is." I mused

"We shouldn't just trust them. What if they are leading us into a trap?" Shane eyed me with suspicion.

"Yep, that's the plan. We have been rounding people up like cattle. We plan to sacrifice you to our unholy gods who have seen fit to bring this trial upon us…" I gestured grandiosely. "Or, we could just be nice people willing to give you a hand up. I mean, we could have let you die back there in the street, right?"

"I think the best thing to do would be to put it to a vote." Rick said, with a dark look at Shane.

"I vote we go." Carol said, startling everyone in her party, I guess she doesn't talk much. "We need somewhere safe, the kids can't handle too much more of this traveling around."

"Me too." Glenn said. "Maybe you could teach us some of those moves."

"Yes!" Songbird chimed in. "Please show us how to kick some walker ass! Quietly, you know, without the bringing of more…"

Daryl scowled at the back of her head, rolling his eyes.

"Your dad doesn't really seem to like that idea." Freddy pointed out, causing Daryl's face to contort into a horrified expression.

"My what?" Songbird looked confused.

"Ummm, isn't he your father?" Freddy asked, giving a nod at Daryl.

"What? No! He's not my dad, he's my, my…" She looked around for the right word. "He's my Daryl."

Freddy gave an embarrassed cough into his hand and kept quiet.

"Will you teach me to fight too?" Carl asked with a hopeful twinkle in his eyes.

"No!" Lori almost yelled. "You won't need to get anywhere near those things anyway." She pulled her son into her lap and held him close. "I vote we keep looking." If looks could kill, I probably would have been dead then.

T-Dog gave me a slap on the back. "They did help us out back there. I think it would be better to stick with people willing and able. I vote yes."

Dale and Andrea shared a look. "I think we should at least check it out." Dale ventured.

"We can at least travel with them, even if things aren't as safe as she said. We can cross that bridge when we get to it." Andrea stated indifferently.

"Well then, I want you to know we won't be freeloading. We have some food with us, and weapons." Rick began.

"Guns." Songbird snorted, inviting an insulted look from the men.

"As I was saying, we have supplies, and we can help out when we get there." Rick concluded.

"If we decide to stay there." Shane added.

"Right. So, now that we have decided all that, we should get some rest. The hoard outside should dissipate in a while and we can head out to one of the houses to spend the night." I informed them. "We can get those camper parts you need tomorrow and probably pick up some more food before heading on."

The faces around me were varied; some were hopeful, some were doubtful. All of them were tired. I counted back and realized it had been a month since I had seen a normal person other than Freddy. It was amazing how good it felt to have someone new talk to. I thought about the different people in this new group of people; I could actually like most of them, heck, I might even learn to be friends with one or two of them. It might be actually be a beautiful day in… well, not quite paradise, but no need in being picky.

END OF PART ONE


	2. Chapter 2

"You know it's kind of amazing these people are still alive, don't you think?" Freddy asked me as we watched our new allies clumsily climb into the second story window of a house we had secured the day before.

"Meh, it just proves the existence of God, right? I mean it sure as heck wasn't natural selection." I whispered back and he snorted, giving me a playful shove.

"I don't know; that Songbird seems pretty well suited for the current situation, don't you think?" He eyed her bottom as it disappeared into the house.

"Hmmm, I am pretty sure she is taken; but good luck with that!" I shouldered my bow and mounted the ladder. "But then you never have luck in that department do you?" I shook my head with a snicker.

"Shut up and get inside." He snapped. Ah, sweet victory!

Once I got through the window I was accosted by Lori. "The stairs are gone!"

"Yeah, we hacked them out."

"Why? How are we going to get out if we're attacked?" She demanded

"That was the point, we took out the easiest access point; the chances of getting attacked now is pretty low." I told her, astounded when she still didn't seem to get it. "I haven't seen too many walkers climbing through second story windows. We thoroughly checked this place before getting it ready, we should be safe here."

"Jeez, you thought of everything!" Songbird chimed in with approval. "I mean, that is just smart!"

"Like the Rooster always says 'your brain should be your first line of defense.'" I smiled.

"Actually it usually comes out as 'Don't be an idiot. Idiocy kills.'" Freddy laughed. "Which is why I am so surprised this one is still alive." He pulled me into a headlock to give me a noogie as I punched at his kidney.

"The Rooster?" Songbird asked

"Our dad."Freddy and I said at the same time. He let go of me and I fell to the floor with a thud.

"He manned an M60 in Vietnam, the name stuck." Freddy elaborated, as no one seemed to get it.

"Well, he does kind of strut anyway." I said, doing my best chicken walk for the kids, who giggled.

"So, what's a rooster?" Songbird still looked very confused.

"He carried a big machine gun." Dale offered, since apparently Songbird didn't know her guns too well.

"There is an orange tracer trail when you fire it that arcs like the tail of a rooster and when you carry it you have to have extremely good posture; the gunman and his weapon together are known as 'the Rooster'." I felt like my explanation was long and winded, but at least Songbird looked less confused.

"Oh! Well that just makes sense." She said. "So, your dad struts?"

"Yep…" I started when Lori jumped back into the conversation.

"We're trapped." She stated flatly.

"No, you're protected. If you don't want to stay, the exit is right there." I pointed at the window, which now had the ladder set on its side beneath it.

"Lori, we're safer here than in the Winnebago." Rick said softly.

"He's right." Shane admitted. "I don't see any way the walkers can get us in here."

"Fine." Lorie huffed exasperatedly.

"We're all just a bit tired." Rick explained apologetically.

"I understand," I waved as if it didn't bother me at all. "It is a lot harder to feel safe these days; just comes with the circumstances." I gave him a smile and made my way to the pallet I had already set up in the far corner.

Plopping down, I pulled my boots off and propped my feet up on the wall. I dug through my bag and pulled out a juice box, then began unraveling my braids. I looked around as I ran my brush through my hair; Dad had told me to know your weaknesses, and being in a group multiplied those weaknesses. It was true, I decided to make an inventory of our new weaknesses; I moved to sit close to Freddy. "So, these people…" I started

"Are not the best or brightest, huh?" He finished for me.

"I wasn't going to say that, but they do need a bit of help, don't you think?" I amended, smiling at how alike our thoughts were.

"That Lori is stubborn to the point of stupidity." He grimaced in her direction.

"Hmm, we may be able to get her to see our way eventually," I thought aloud "but no, the way she talks to her husband, I guess not." My nose scrunched up thinking about it. "She is obviously on the defensive about something; feeling guilty maybe?"

"Meh, if we can work around that, we might be able to get somewhere." I said in an off handed way that made me think he might not believe it.

"Shane is pretty stubborn too." I pointed out.

"It's because he thinks he should be in charge, classic alpha male syndrome." Freddy snorted.

"Right." I rolled my eyes. "His secret infatuation with Rick's wife isn't really all that secret, is it? He looks kind of obsessed with her."

"Yeah, he'll be protecting her and the kid in an attack; other than that I wouldn't really count on him." He mused.

"You know, I think we could maybe change Lori's perspective, eventually; but Shane's problems are a real weakness. He is too easily touched if you get my meaning." I said exasperatedly. "Just the look in his eyes when he disagrees with somebody."

"We'll keep an eye on him." Freddy clearly wanted to move on. "Carol?"

"Ah, she seems nice. You know the kind of nice that can't seem to stick up for herself; I bet she never even yells when she is mad." I glanced at her holding Sophia as the child slept.

"Yeah, show her some self defense moves before we move out tomorrow, she should at least be able to get out of a fight if she needs to."

"I will, and the kids too. I guess they all fit into the same category." I made a mental note to fit that into our schedule. "Andrea's mind seems to be somewhere else all the time, don't you think?"

"She's lost someone." He said. "Someone close. She'll be all right once she figures out the world is still moving around her."

"Dale?" I asked, he was an enigma to me.

"Smart old guy, knows his guns, at least."He smiled. "Almost reminds me of James, at least he would if he were in better shape."

"I like him!" I agreed.

"What about T-Dog and that Glenn guy?" He asked, sounding as unsure as I felt about them. "I was talking to Rick and he told me that he met both of them while they were on a scouting trip in Atlanta."

"What the hell were these people thinking; going into a place like Atlanta?" I breathed, incredulous.

Freddy just shrugged before continuing. "He told me that Glenn saved his ass while he was stuck in a tank, under a hoard of walkers."

"Jeez!"

"Yeah, but they went on this rescue mission for Daryl's brother, and he got kidnapped by a gang, who actually turned out to be scouting for a group of survivors stuck in Atlanta; T-Dog helped him get him back."

"Who knows, they have the guts, for certain, but they seem to lack experience."

"I thought so as well. Maybe fit them into your self defense class?" He offered.

"Or have a class on some offensive moves too, silent ones." I said with a little disdain, thinking of their noisy guns; Freddy nodded with a smirk.

"Daryl has that crossbow." He stated.

"Yeah, points to him for that!" I grinned. "But he has an attitude, doesn't seem to play well with others."

"We can watch him too, and that Songbird." He said almost wistfully; I gave him an unsure look and he defended himself. "She follows that guy around like a pup."

"You thought he was her dad!" I stifled a laugh, earning an elbow in my ribs. "But she can handle a knife, I can respect that; and she seemed interested in learning about other weaponry."

"What about their leader, Rick?" We both thought about it for a second. "He seems decent enough."

"But how did he lose his wife to that Shane guy?" I wondered

"Well, they do seem to think alike, she has an attitude that I know I wouldn't want to see on my wife." Freddy stated.

"Like you'll ever have a wife, I mean, yes, you are absolutely right! Ack!" I got put in a choke hold again. "Let me go!"

He did, then continued our conversation in a softer whisper than before to compensate for the attention we had gained with our antics. "He might be a little too diplomatic."

"Too, what is it? Too nice?" I offered.

"Maybe; but that can work for some people."

"I guess." I said through a yawn.

"Go to sleep, Lucky, you're no good to me half awake."

"Aw, shut up, loser." I grinned and made my way back over to my pallet.

I finished brushing my hair and plaited it into the comfortable pigtail braids I usually slept in, then sprawled out on my pallet. This heat was nearly unbearable; and worst of all, it made the stench from the walkers cover everything like a blanket. "Argh! I wish it would rain!" I complained to no one in general. I got up and stomped out of the room to try the central air again, even though it wouldn't start the day before.

"Here, let me see." T-Dog said from behind me. I stepped aside and watched in fascination as he fiddled with the controls, taking the cover off and moving wires until the unit hummed to life.

"Jeez, man! You are a hero in my eyes, now!" I clapped him on the back with a huge grin on my face.

"My pop was an HVAC expert. Thirty-five years of experience that he passed on to me." He said with a smile.

"And thank God for that! I thought the smell was going to kill me." I fell in step with him on the way back to the big room we were all sharing. He laughed and told me I was alright. "I do try." I responded as I dropped back onto my pallet. "Good night, Freddy." I mumbled as I drifted off.

It felt like I had just fallen asleep when I was shaken awake by Songbird. "Good morning! Time to rise and shine!"

"Oh God," I rolled over to shield my eyes from the morning sun. "You did not just freaking wake me up!"

"Sorry, I just thought you would want to get an early start." She sounded like a kicked puppy.

"Fine, I'm up now. Did you want me for something?" I asked, forcing myself up to a sitting position.

"The guys wanted you to show them where that parts place was for the camper; but I wouldn't mind you giving me a lesson or two with your sword." She sounded anxious but a good deal more cheerful.

"Lessons first, you guys could use some new moves." I stretched with a huge yawn before moving into a standing position. "So who would like to be a little less dependent on those zombie calling guns of yours?" I asked the group at large.

"You got swords in there for all of us?" Glenn asked with a nod at my bag.

"Nah, but you should definitely think of picking one up somewhere to learn with; until then, stick with heavy blunt objects, crushing the skull will send them to the ground as well as any sword." I explained.

"But that means getting close enough to hit them." Rick pointed out.

"It does, but it will take time to learn a new ranged weapon, unless you all have crossbows hiding somewhere." I countered, he shook his head. "The key is staying out of groups anyway, and not being overwhelmed in the first place; close combat isn't too bad if there are only one or two per person."

"That's easy for you to say." Dale chimed in,

"I have had the training for it; but we are all going to encounter small groups of walkers, no matter what we do; it would be better if we could get rid of them without attracting a whole hoard, don't you think?" I responded. "Or do you not want to learn how to defend yourselves?"

"I do!" Songbird piped up with a huge grin on her face.

"It couldn't hurt for us all to listen." Rick said, waving Carl closer.

"Great! The first thing you need to do is to layer, keep your skin covered; this is going to be easy once winter starts really setting in," I began; moving on to how anything could be a weapon and how using all the senses were important. I showed them some blocks and evasive maneuvers; ending with how to use blunt objects. "It is important to put enough force behind it to crush bone, but keep your movement fluid so you can come right back up with another hit."

Once everyone had given my sword a swing or two to get a feel of the movements, we convened to discuss today's outing. "The RV place is about a mile out; you should have passed it coming in." Freddy stated.

"No, they came in from the east," I interrupted.

"Right, anyway, it's about a mile outside of town, maybe two." He said again.

"So, if you tell me what you need, I can be back in about an hour." I offered, earning incredulous stares from the men around me.

"No." Was all Freddy said, I would have just listened to him, but everyone else had to put their two cents in as well.

"You can't go alone, you're just a kid." Shane snorted.

"Are you crazy? She could totally do this on her own! She…" Glenn began, but fell silent with a killing glare from Freddy.

"We can't lose you, you're our best fighter!" Dale sounded astonished that I would even suggest it.

"You're going to need someone to back you up; I would feel better if you had at least two people covering you." Rick suggested.

"I appreciate your concern, but I am not a kid, I'm 26; and you all know that one person going in would be quicker and a whole lot quieter. I can do this." I said nonchalantly; knowing it was true, and that they would never listen to me.

"No." Freddy said again and I gave him a wry smile; he knew I wouldn't go if he didn't want me to.

"Okay." I said simply.

The others looked taken aback that I would back down so easily; I guess they weren't used to having their way.

"So, what do we do?" Dale asked, leaning back against the wall.

"Rick and I will go, Glenn can run in and out of the place without being seen." Shane started.

"What?" Glenn obviously did not like being volunteered like that.

"No." I said with a roll of my eyes. "You don't even know where it is, either Fredrick or I would have to join you, at least."

"Both of us are going, we've gotten this far together, I'm sure as hell not letting you out of my sight now." Freddy huffed.

"Right, so I will go in to get the stuff, Fred can cover me with is bow." I stated with a finality that the group decided not to question.

"All right. Dale, make her a list. Daryl and I can go along in case you need some extra hands. The rest of you stay here and keep the others safe." Rick ended the conversation with a clap of his hands and we disbanded to get our stuff together.

I felt Songbird step up behind me, "I could go, you know I'm good with knives."

"Or, you could stay here; it would be nice to have somebody who doesn't hate me waiting when we get back." I countered.

"Fine, I guess." She said sulkily. "Do not let Daryl die. Just do that and I won't hate you."

"I can't make promises." I said and she looked stunned that I wouldn't give her what she wanted. "He seems kind of headstrong; I can't stop him from doing anything he wants to do, but I will keep anyone else from making that decision for him." I amended.

"Thanks." She replied softly. "That's all I could ask for, I guess."

"Hey! Cheer up; he's made it this far, right?" I gave her a mock punch on the shoulder.

"Yeah." She gave me a half smile as Freddy came over and put his arms over our shoulders.

"Do not fret ladies, I have everything under control!" He grinned at songbird. "I am after all an expert here."

"You're an expert in RV supplies?" Songbird asked, completely serious. "Dale will love that! Hey Dale, Freddy says he knows all about RVs!"

Freddy palmed his face and I couldn't help laughing, hard. "Yep, you have a way with the women, big brother!"

"What?" Songbird asked innocently. "Are RVs called 'women' when you work on them?"

I almost died right then and there for lack of oxygen.

Once I had regained my composure, our small party headed out. Daryl turned back towards the caravan.

"Where are you going?" I asked in a hushed whisper.

"My truck is this way." He said without breaking his pace.

"We aren't taking the truck."Freddy muttered in his off handed way.

"We ain't walking all that way." Daryl snarled.

"Nah… but we can get around quicker on these." Freddy shoved the garage door up and mounted his Suzuki, a sport bike that had a couple of storage holsters on the back. I hopped on my KTM, a lightweight dual-sport that I had rebuilt in high school and strapped on my helmet. "We modded the mufflers, they should be nice and quiet." Freddy gave Daryl a sideways glance. "Unless you plan on squealing like a girl the whole time."

"Hey!" I protested. "I don't squeal!"

Daryl stood stumped for a moment or two, apparently unable to decide which was the lesser of two evils- riding a little bike or riding behind a dude. He chose to ride with me; I guess riding with a girl makes a tiny bike okay in his eyes.

Rick climbed onto the back of the Suzuki and we were off. The feeling of the wind in my face again was amazing! I zigzagged through the sparse cars left on the street and whizzed past the random walkers we saw straggling back to wherever they went during the daytime. The exhilaration made me brave, I ramped up my speed with a glance back at my brother; he got the hint, and the race was on. I think I might have scared my passenger; while he didn't say a word, his fingers gripped me like a vise.

We made it to our destination in only a few minutes, disappointing, I could have ridden like that for hours! Daryl jumped off of my bike as soon as I stopped making me laugh. "Aww, was it that bad riding bitch?" I teased, all I got was a mean face in return, and I laughed again.

"Right, Lucky, you have the list; let's get in and out as quick as we can." Rick commanded in an authoritative voice I was sure he perfected as an officer of the law, I liked him better like this than when he was being diplomatic.

"Sure thing!" That voice of his suddenly made me want to make him happy for some reason. "Freddy follow me, you two stay out and keep watch."

There were a couple of walkers on the lot, which we made quick work of before cautiously stepping through the open double doors.

"Fred!" I stood stunned. Hobbling towards me in a "Kampy Campers" uniform was, Duncan; the first boyfriend I had ever had. I pulled the string on my bow taut, but seemed unable to loose my arrow.

I heard the familiar 'zing' as it whipped past my head, and Duncan fell motionless to the floor. I turned to thank Freddy, but he was giving me a stern look. "They aren't people anymore, Luce. Your hesitation would have killed you." He pulled his arrow out of Duncan's eye socket with a sickening sucking noise. I took in a deep breath and continued on.

I quickly got the hoses, valves and belts mentioned on the list along with some extras, in case they needed them later and a few extra things we could all use, if need be, such as sealants and fix-a-flat.

"Uh, could y'all hurry it up in there?" Daryl's voice carried over the quiet moans of people still in the store, but hidden somewhere; we went back outside to find about twenty walkers slowly making their way towards us.

I hurriedly packed our things in Freddy's bike. "Fight or flee?" I asked.

"I only have my sidearm and rifle." Rick said. "I really don't want to attract any more of those things."

"I have twelve arrows on me." Freddy asserted "If you have as many we could take 'em easy."

I counted the contents of my quiver. "Right; we don't need to ride through a group that big."

"As long as I can get my bolts back." Daryl aimed his crossbow.

"Shall we keep score, brother dearest?" I asked, nocking an arrow.

"Only if you think you can bear the pain of losing, Lucille." Freddy retorted, letting an arrow fly.

"Right you are!" I said, quickly reloading after knocking an older lady in her bloody housecoat to the ground.

It didn't take long to bring the small group of walkers down; I let Freddy beat me, he needed at least some of his pride left intact. We began pulling out our arrows and bolts when a fresh group, smaller than the last, converged on us.

"You guys keep salvaging our ammo, I can handle this." I called to the others as I pulled my bowie knife from my belt, cursing myself for leaving my kilij back at the house.

I was far too close for comfort, but the walkers were not crowded by any means and I managed to get in eye shots with my first two hits. I was startled by how fast the next attacker crept up behind me; I gave him a swift kick to the head, holding his neck with my boot while I shoved my blade into his clouded left eye. Coming right back up, I caught a heavy set woman in the chin with my fist, then shoved her back with my foot before throwing the knife into her skull. It hit with a dull 'thwack' and she fell over onto the last walker, a slight man with most of his skin missing. I dislodged my knife and finished the man off.

I wiped my knife off on the fat lady's muumuu and got up, probably looking as smug as I felt. Freddy grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Every word was emphasized with a cruel jerk. "You ran into a pack of walkers with a knife! Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"But I…" I began to defend myself.

"No! You are not allowed to do that!"He yanked at my shoulders again "No!"

"Hey, can we take this somewhere a little more private?" Rick said, looking warily around.

Freddy shoved me away and jumped onto his motorcycle; Rick followed quickly, probably thinking he would be left behind if he didn't. The ride back was excruciating, all of the joy from before was gone completely. When we made it back, Freddy would not even look at me; instead he slumped into a corner as far away from me as possible.

"Lucky?" Rick was standing beside me; I looked at him without really seeing him. "You ok?"

"Not really. I don't think I got hurt; do you want me to get checked out?"I said without emotion.

"If you don't mind." He laid his hand on my shoulder. "Look, if you need to talk…"

I threw my arms around him and sobbed into his chest. "I'm sorry! I didn't think! I- I was just trying to help… Oh God!" I just realized that I was hanging all over a man who was practically a stranger; I took a jump back, rubbing my face with the back of my hand. "I shouldn't have done that. I have never been good with personal boundaries. I…"

"Don't worry about it; you've had a pretty traumatic day." He kept his arm around my shoulder, so I leaned back into him; taking all the comfort I could get. "Hey, Songbird; do you mind giving Lucky a once over? She had a close encounter while we were out."

"Sure!" Damn her for being so freaking cheerful all the time! Rick gave me one last squeeze before letting me walk over to Songbird, who wrapped me in her arms as she led me into another room.

I stopped her before we made it to the door. "Ok, can we do this without the jaunty bounce in our step?" I knew I was being mean, but Freddy wasn't letting me take it out on him. "I apparently almost died just now, and my brother freaking shot the first guy I ever kissed; not a good day for me, if you could imagine."

"Duncan Seacrest deserved to die!" Freddy jumped up and was suddenly in my face. "I remember the way that son of a bitch looked at you, the way he talked to you; all he ever wanted was to get in your pants! And you fucking almost let him kill you today!"

"He did not almost kill me!" I stood on my toes and shoved him away. "I hesitated for a moment! Excuse me for mourning over a life I'll never get back, Frederick! All the people here are dead; the friends we grew up with, our mothers and their husbands, the fucking cashier at the Stop a Minute!"

I paused for breath; everything I had felt in the week since we had found this town had been run over with the dead came pouring out of me and I realized that I had been slapping Freddy as I yelled at him. "I'm sorry that I put myself in danger, but you are not allowed to give me the silent treatment." I spoke slowly, my voice barely a whisper. "God Freddy, you might be all I have left."

"No. They are alive." Freddy pulled me close. "You know they are. If these idiots are still alive, they have to be." He whispered the last part and gave me a kiss on the forehead before pushing me away towards Songbird. "Now go get checked; it's the price for being a dumbass."

"Right you are my dear Frederick." I tried to smile, but I felt like everything in me had flooded out and I just didn't have it in me right then.

"So this Duncan," Songbird said as we left the room. "Did he make it into your pants?"

I burst out laughing. "No! There is no way in hell a freaking jerk like Duncan Seacrest would ever make it into these undies.

"But you kissed him." She sounded confused.

I peeled off my tee shirt and jeans, doing a slow spin as she checked me for fresh wounds. "Yeah, but I just wanted to know what it was like." She gave me a thumbs up and I started dressing again. "I hated it! It was so terrible! I vowed after that, no man was getting any more of this unless he really earned it."

"So you stopped kissing?" She asked, plopping onto the bed in the room instead of joining the others.

I laughed at that. "No. That was part of the test to see if they were worthy." I leaned against the wall. "I believe that in my whole life, I have only had one really good kiss."

"Ooh! Do tell!" She propped her head up on her hands as she listened, looking like a dazed teenager from a 1950's movie.

"His name was Abrahm. Or his name _is_ Abrahm. God, please let him still be alive." I forgot I had an audience for a second, falling into silent prayer.

"Wait; so you're a virgin too?" Songbird jumped back up and grabbed my hands like we were a part of some kind of club for those who had never been laid.

"I just wanted to make sure that when I did it, it would be done right." I cringed, thinking of Duncan again. "None of that 'done before I am' business; whoever it was, had to really want me to feel it." I blushed, embarrassed at how cheesy I sounded.

"That makes so much sense!" She was nearly bouncing. "I can learn so much from you!"

"And you? Did you wait on purpose or…?" I asked, hoping that talking about herself would calm her down.

"You know how girls with a lot of brothers don't really have a lot of boyfriends?" She began slowly.

"God yes! You have no idea!" I shoved my fingers through my hair and they got caught on my braids.

"I suppose you could say I had a lot of brother-type figures in my life."

"Jeez! That is just sad!" I put my hand on her shoulder. "We led sad, sad lives, didn't we?" I laughed.

"Yeah, before all this happened, I never really had anyone that I wanted like…" She trailed off, looking at the floor.

My stomach made a loud growl. "Maybe we should head back to the others; I need to get some food in me."

"Right." She said with her usual liveliness. "You guys have a great canned food selection!"

"Thanks!" I began walking back to the main room. "It was nice just being a girl for a little while. I don't really get to do that too much; not that I ever really wanted to before."

"What do you mean?" Songbird followed a few steps behind me.

"My mother was a proper southern socialite; she had me entered into beauty pageants for most of my childhood. I hated it! I was the biggest tomboy!" I turned back to smile at her. "But there are some things that are only meant for girl talk, you know?" I sat on my pallet and pulled a juice box out of my bag.

"Yeah. I understand." She said softly.

"Want to make a pallet over here with me?" I asked nonchalantly, not wanting her to know how much I needed her to say yes.

"Duh!" She ran to grab her stuff and drag it closer to mine. I smiled; huh, so I guess I just made my first girl friend; and it only took me 26 years.

END OF PART TWO


	3. Chapter 3

"Goodbye Lula, Mississippi." I muttered to myself as we passed by the Isle of Capri Casino, where I had spent every Mother's day I could remember; my crazy mom and her gambling habit. I doubted I would miss this place very much, I was done mourning my old life; for now.

We planned to take 49 over the river, and then bypass West Helena with highway 44; I was still amazed that these huge behemoths had made it as far as they did with all the abandoned cars left on the roads.

It took an entire day to cross the Mississippi; we had to stop every ten yards so the men could push cars out of the way. Once we finally made it across, the sun was hanging low in the sky and everyone agreed that we should make camp for the night.

Songbird had been riding with Freddy all day and seemed glad to be off of his bike when we stopped; hopping down quickly and joining the others as they exited their vehicles. I caught up with him and punched him in the arm. "Any luck with your lady love?" I asked with a sly grin.

"Well, she was grabbing on to me pretty tight, but I think she might have just been terrified." He looked a bit disappointed.

"Meh. You know she has a thing for that Daryl guy." I told him, hoping I didn't totally crush his ambitions. "Do you think you can beat him?"

"That guy?" He looked over to the truck where Daryl was drinking a beer. "What d'you think she sees in him?"

"Who knows? What does anybody see in anybody?" I rolled my eyes at him. "You know better than anyone that I suck at human interaction. I am the wrong person to ask."

"What about all those degrees you have in philosophy and psychology?" He poked me in the ribs.

I pushed him away and started to walk towards the main group. "Those are just pretty pieces of paper; they don't mean squat in zombie apocalypse type situations." I turned and gave him a wink. "Please be on your best behavior, you don't want to scare her away before you've even started to flirt."

Once I reached the others, they were already passing out jobs for the night. Glenn and Shane were going into a small cluster of trees to find firewood, the women were beginning to prepare a small meal and Dale and Rick were arguing over who would take the first of the nights watch sessions.

"I can do it." I said, strolling up to them. "I am a night owl; and I'll have a better vantage point from the trees."

"And just what the fuck are you gonna be in the tree for?" Daryl's harsh voice drawled behind me.

"Sleeping…well, keeping watch; if you'll let me, and, uh, not being eaten by walkers." I listed on my fingers. "Have you ever seen a walker climb a tree?" I pulled a juice box out of my pocket and stabbed the straw into it; never taking my eyes off of Daryl, and giggling when he finally looked away. Victory!

"Sounds good to me." Rick said. "All I want to know is," he continued, taking a step towards me and looking deadly serious. "Where are you getting all of these juice boxes from?" He broke into a smile.

I winked at him. "A girl has to have some secrets."

"So, how _are_ you going to sleep in the tree? If you don't mind me asking." Dale interjected.

"Well, we were thinking of using our hammocks, but if you think you have a better way, I'm all ears." Freddy chimed in, throwing his arm around me.

"That's another smart idea!" Songbird said, stepping in beside Freddy. "You guys have really thought this through!"

"Well, sleeping anywhere near those things would be impossible for me; and like Lucille here says, walkers aren't really known for their tree climbing capabilities." Freddy explained. "I would be more than willing to share if anyone else were uncomfortable being so close to the ground." He continued with a sideways glance at Songbird.

"I know I haven't had a good night's sleep in I don't know how long!" Glenn said, laying down the firewood he had just brought back. "We would be taking turns with it, right?"

I snorted, catching Rick's eye as I sat on one of the larger logs the guys had brought back. "So, it would really be okay if I took the first watch?"

"Sure, just let me take over about halfway through." He nodded.

I let the sounds of Freddy's weak attempts at getting out of sharing his hammock fade as I made my way to the sparse grouping of trees. Finding two that were the right distance apart was a headache; I turned to give Freddy a snarky comment on our situation when I realized he wasn't there. I was alone. Slumping against a tree and letting myself slide down to a sitting position, I let myself relax for just a moment, knowing it wouldn't last long.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" It was Songbird who found me.

"Being thankful it wasn't Fred who found me." I replied drily. "I haven't had a minute to myself since this whole thing started. I didn't even realize how suffocated I felt till I was alone."

"And here I thought you were the smart one." She leaned on the trunk across from mine.

"Nah." Was all I said.

She cocked her head, but didn't ask me to elaborate. 'Thank God for small favors', I thought as I savored the silence.

It wasn't long after that when Freddy found us. He scolded me for being so careless, but didn't give me the silent treatment, playfully throwing patches of Spanish moss at me as we climbed the wet oaks to set up our beds.

I sat up with my legs dangling over the side of my hammock, a pair of night vision binoculars in my lap. The sleepy camp was nearly silent beneath me, with the exception of some questionable noises coming from Daryl's truck. The moon was hanging low in the western sky; I knew I should wake Rick up for second watch, but I felt guilty waking anyone up when it was so peaceful. Knowing he would be frustrated with me if I didn't do what I was told, I shimmied down the oak and headed over towards his tent.

The sound of a zipper startled me, I silently chided myself when I saw it was Rick exiting his tent.

"You alright?" He asked, I obviously looked as rattled as I felt. "Did you see something out there?"

"No... it was the zipper." I started. He looked confused. "You… unzipping the tent." I elaborated, and he cocked an eyebrow. "I just wasn't expecting it! Stop looking at me like that!"

He chuckled. "Yes ma'am."

"Right. Want these?" I held out the binoculars. He took them and gave them a try, looking impressed. "We did just come from a weapons convention." I said. "Want some company?"

"You should probably get some sleep."

"And face all of those zipper nightmares, are you kidding?" I said with mock horror.

That earned me another laugh. "I guess it would be fine, but only if you bring me one of those juice boxes you're always pulling out of nowhere."

I plucked one out of my pocket and tossed it at him, then perched myself on one of the larger of the unburned logs; he took a seat next to the still glowing embers and we sat in companionable silence until I drifted off.

I awoke with a start to the sound of Daryl yelling '_Songbird'_. I sat up and saw Rick looking over toward the truck. "Please tell me I did not just hear what I thought I heard." I tried to shake the memory out of my head.

"As far as I know, Songbird is still sleeping in the RV." He replied. "I guess the best thing to do is to forget we ever heard it."

"I can only hope that is possible!" I said, seeing Freddy walking over to us from the corner of my eye. I tried to flash him a smile, but it died as he gave me a killing look. Again.

"So, I woke up and guess who wasn't where she was supposed to be." He snarked.

"Jeez Freddy! Can you quit acting like an older brother for five minutes, please? I need some breakfast before we start arguing for the day."

"Maybe I would be able to relax a little if you would just stop trying to get yourself killed." He spat. "Go get your gear put away, I want you ready to head out as soon as everyone is done eating."

"Yessir!" I saluted him before walking away.

We were on the road again not long after that; the larger vehicles were able to go around the abandoned cars now that we were off the bridge, so traveling went by faster. Even so, we were stuck at a roadblock only a few miles from where we camped.

West Helena was on the north side with no blockages other than the cars we had been passing by all morning; to the west and south we were surrounded by a marshy bog of unknown depth. I was about to volunteer to see how deep and muddy the swamp was, after all we only needed to go through a small part of it to get back onto the highway, when Lori asked, "What's wrong with West Helena?"

"It's a big city." Songbird offered.

"Which makes it a crazy bad idea." I added, not willing to risk my life because she was afraid to get her feet wet.

"But the other option is a swamp." Lori retorted, making a big sweep of her arm to reiterate her point.

I was about to remind her of the number of hungry residents that usually occupy a city that large when Songbird chirped, "Look, there's a mall! Do you think we could go on a quick looting trip?"

Shopping! The moneyless kind, my favorite! Before I could second her motion, Daryl shot her down. The others started talking about our options again, pointing out what they thought our biggest dangers were. Knowing that, as an outsider, my voice would just be background noise, I made an escape plan; inching over to Songbird's side, I poked her and silently indicated the strip mall with my head. She nodded in that overexcited way she had and I shouldered my bow and quiver as we backed away from the group slowly.

"Finally! Some time alone!" I said when I was sure no one else would hear me.

"Yeah. Sometimes he really gets on my nerves!" Songbird said

Knowing exactly what she was talking about, I decided to play dumb and see if she would open up to me on her own. "Sorry if Freddy's been bothering you. He gets on my nerves too."

"Not Freddy," She took the bait. "Daryl. He treats me like a little kid."

Huh. "And shouldn't he? He is a lot older than you." Old enough to be her father, in fact. Songbird just looked peeved at that. "But on the other hand, he does seem really immature." Normal for a redneck, though, I thought.

"Why is everybody making such a big deal about our age difference?" She asked, even though she was the one who had brought it up. "Age doesn't matter!"

I was having a hard time not smacking this little tantrum out of her; she was just proving the point. "I never said it did, but, and I am trying to be nice about this: you act like a three year old on Christmas. Every day."

I gave her a sideways glance and saw my news had not been well received; she was looking down at her feet with a childlike scowl on her face. I decided to elaborate, "All I am saying is that maybe, _maybe_, you should tone it down a little bit; or maybe he is the one acting like a kid and he is taking it out on you. I don't know; I have about as much experience with relationships as you do."

She immediately went on the defensive. "Daryl and I don't have a relationship." I held back a laugh, she was totally fooling herself. Then I remembered the sound I had woken up to this morning and realized they were both being stupid about this whole thing; but then she interrupted my reverie. "And tone what down?"

"You do have a relationship," gag, "obviously, since you're complaining about it. And tone down all that bright eyed bushy tailed whatever the hell it is that makes you so animated!"

She looked confused, really? She had to know how she looked to others, at least a little. "Animated? Like a cartoon?"

I thought of the most annoying thing I could think of to compare her to, "Yes, like the little kid kind with the music and the dancing." I put on the most dramatic voice I could, "The dancing! Oh God, the dancing!" Ending with a classic face palm.

Her face lit up, "Oh, so you face palm too!" She seemed to have completely forgotten the previous conversation, but then: "I don't dance…much."

I rolled my eyes. "We picked up the face palming in middle school; our moms thought it was vulgar." We were about halfway through the bog and the water only came to our ankles; I guess the lack of rain was a blessing here. I pulled my boot across the bottom; it felt gravelly, not muddy, another plus for us.

"I thought Freddy was your brother." Songbird said with a look of disgust on her face, probably from the swamp water, I thought.

"He is; we share a dad. Our moms were best friends who thought it would be clever to use the same sperm donor." I explained

"So, wait." She interrupted. "How do you share a dad then? You mean you actually know the sperm donor? I thought that was sort of an anonymous thing."

"The contract said that the sperm donor could have visitation, so our moms sent Freddy and me to stay with him for two weeks every summer." I muttered as I took in our surroundings, pulling my bow into position.

I could hear the scuffling of the walkers' feet before I saw them turn the corner; there were four of them, too easy. Songbird jumped as a couple more came meandering from behind a dumpster to the right. "Take care of those two." I ordered; nocking two arrows at a time. "I'll handle these fuckers." I aimed and let go of my bowstring, surprising myself as both made it to their marks. I had to make an adjustment to the fletchings on the left arrow to hit the two remaining walkers in one shot as well. Holding in a deep breath, I let loose the arrows and smiled when I heard the satisfying 'squish' as they found their targets. Songbird was just finishing up, so I went ahead and reclaimed my arrows. "I beat you." I bragged, but it didn't quite have the same effect as it did when I taunted Freddy.

"Yep. That's a fast bow." Was all she said. Disappointing.

I tried again, "You only think so because you are used to Daryl and his crossbow; they both look like they are getting on in years."

"Hey! Don't insult Mary Jane!" Bingo! "And Daryl isn't that old, he's only thirty-five." Huh, she defended the crossbow before her man, I wonder what _that_ means.

I shrugged it off and we turned to the storefronts, "Ah, clothes! Free clothes! All for us!"

"So, where to first?" Songbird asked.

"Boots." I didn't even need to think about it, the tread was running out on my old pair. "I need boots."

"I love boots!" Songbird gushed. Of course she does, who doesn't?

"I guess you're not as much of an idiot as I thought." I said aloud before thinking about it, and then I cringed as realized who I was talking to. "I mean…great!"

"Call me what you want." Drat, I think I actually hurt her feelings. "As long as I get some kick ass boots!"

Opening the double doors to the shoe store felt like waking up from a bad dream; but then after this morning, I didn't really want to think about dreams all that much. I found a pair of combat boots that would suit my needs as Songbird weaved through the aisles picking out different things she liked. I had just tried on a pair of heels when I heard her scream.

"What?" I moved my bow into position as I quickly made my way to where she was. "How many are there?" I found her cradling a pair of fuck-me boots. I hung my head as I put my weapon away.

"Just one and they're fucking mine!" She squealed.

"Where would you wear those?" I asked, discreetly kicking off the heels I had on before she could see. "They are thigh high with a three inch heel! And the leather! You're gonna have to oil those up to keep them soft…"

"And they cost fifteen hundred dollars!" She interrupted. "I would never have been able to have boots like this before! Do you know what these are Lucky?" I did. "These are fuck-me boots!"

I looked down at the boots and wondered if she had anyone specific in mind to wear them for; knowing Freddy didn't really stand a chance. "I'm sure both Daryl and Freddy will be pleased to see them."

"I wouldn't hold my breath." She said solemnly. "Daryl Dixon doesn't seem very impressed with me lately." Bingo! I wondered if I should warn my brother that he was chasing a lost cause. Nah.

I put my new combat boots on and shoved the pair of heels I had found discreetly into my backpack, spotting a pair of cute cowgirl boots and promising myself I would come back for them if I could. There were a few apparel stores on this strip, one catered to teenage girls and other women who thought they could pull off the just barely clothed look, another was a specialty store that only carried scrubs, but luckily there was a larger department store that carried both men's and women's wear; I thought I could pick up something nice for Freddy while I was in there to make up for my blatant disrespect towards him.

My hopes sagged when we stepped in, though. "Oh God, look at all the hideous old lady clothing! It looks like we stepped into an old folks home and they all pulled a Yoda." I ran my fingers over the gaudy fabric and dug in, looking for something suitable to wear. I looked up to see Songbird just kind of standing there, staring at me. "What are you just standing there for?" I found something halfway decent and tried it on, just in case this store was filled only with Golden Girl cast offs.

"No reason" Songbird muttered dejectedly. "It's just that none of these clothes are going to fit me. I lost way too much weight doing that whole starving thing."

I thought I could insert a joke here to make her feel better. "What did you do that for?" She just looked a little more dejected if that was even possible. Fail. Maybe if I took it a little farther, "Fine. Look over there for something." I meant to point at the children's section, but she turned towards the junior's department instead. Oh well, maybe I did help a little. "And please be careful!" I called, not wanting her to come out looking like a teeny bopper.

Songbird just turned and walked away. "Oh God, not you too! Why does everyone assume that I am incapable of protecting myself? Did you not see me with the knives?" She flung her arms up in the air, as if she were throwing a knife back at me.

" I meant clothing wise!" I rolled my eyes and went back to sorting through the rack I was at. " I don't want to be seen with someone who doesn't know how to dress!"

I was beginning to get discouraged from the lack of coolness in this store when I came across a big display filled with witty graphic tees. I glanced over them and found an entire section devoted to awesome younger women's attire. I let out an exclamation of joy, covering my mouth quickly and looking around to see if I had attracted any walkers; all I had managed to conjure was a Songbird who looked at me with a mixture of disbelief and annoyance. I didn't care; I was in looter's heaven!

"Graphic tees all for me!" I motioned at the stack I was sifting through and rolled her eyes as she approached.

"And you said I should tone it down." She shook her head in a sarcastic tone. Pulling out a couple for herself before wandering off again. I heard the shuffling of footsteps and froze, but relaxed again when I saw Freddy's head bobbing over the racks as he searched for us; I ignored him and went on with my shopping.

I was in the process of searching for bags to stuff my new merchandise into when Songbird called out "Look Lucky! It's a kilt!" Twirling to show off a school girl style skirt.

"That's not a kilt."

"What do you mean it's not a kilt?" She asked pointedly, she had obviously already made her mind up about this skirt. "It's plaid." As if that was the only identifying characteristic of kilts.

"And just what clan would that be?" Freddy asked, making Songbird jump at least two feet into the air.

"The clan of the under clothed?" I asked, noticing that I could see her underwear on her way back down to the ground, and I knew Freddy had seen it too from the look on his face.

"Shit! How long have you been there?" Songbird hissed as her face went beet red.

"I'd say he's been there for at least a full five minutes." I had been tracking his head as it bobbed through the store scouting for us.

"Watching me?" Songbird asked and I wondered if she knew just how daft Freddy was, he never would have thought of that.

"Nah, I got this great shirt from over in the men's department." He displayed it proudly.

Freddy told us that he was going to tell the others he had found us; I couldn't tell if he was mad at me or not, but then a rack of adorable sundresses had caught my eye and I wasn't paying attention to him anymore. I threw on the cutest dress and stuffed the rest into my bag. After picking out several pairs of jeans I decided to hit up the lingerie department. Songbird joined me, apparently done with her "kilt" shopping spree.

"Find anything good?" She asked.

"A few dresses, some jeans and a butt load of awesome shirts." I patted my nearly full bags. "You?"

"All the necessities, did you see the hoodies?" She pointed some out as we passed them and I grabbed a couple in my size. "And a belt!" She held it up.

"Good. No one else needs to see those ratty undies you're wearing."

"What!" She turned red again.

"Yeah. You might want to keep jumping to a minimum in that skirt." She gave me a horrified look. "Just saying."

"Oh God!" She tugged the skirt over her nonexistent butt. "What am I going to do?"

"Get some prettier panties?" I suggested.

"I like the way you think." She said with a smile, noticing that we had arrived at the lingerie section, and making her way to the bulk packs of panties.

"What are you doing?" I asked, tugging a plastic sack of undies out of her hands. "I  
>said pretty." I threw a lacy thong at her, making her blush again.<p>

"I wouldn't even know where to start with something like this." She held the thong gingerly at arm's length.

I laughed. "Well then start with some of those." I pointed her in the direction of silky boy shorts. Her face lit up and she dug into them, holding up an occasional pair to get my approval. I picked out a few bikinis and boy shorts before discovering the teddy sets.

"Ooh! I love these!" Songbird exclaimed, pulling a blue and black satin corset attached to a mesh blue thong with black bows.

"I thought you said you wouldn't know where to start with something like this." I drawled.

"Well, it's all attached to this top; that way I'll know which way is up!" Her logic didn't fail to amuse; I giggled.

I tossed an emerald green teddy with black ribbons laced up the sides into my bag, shoving it down deep so no one else could see it. I turned to see a rack of pretty gauzy bras. Songbird threw a few into her bag and wandered over to the pajamas, saying that she had never seen footie pj's in her size before.

Finally alone, I pulled my dress off so I could get rid of the ratty bra I had been wearing for the month since this whole ordeal started. I picked a sheer pink one that sported gathered lace along the underwire and black bows at the straps. A pair of matching panties hung on the rack beneath it and I slipped them on as well. Sighing with relief as the feeling of proper support sank in; I did a little dance, stopping in my tracks when I saw Shane standing in the aisle. He had his hand over his mouth, stifling a laugh.

"Friggin' perv!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, internally smacking myself for making so much noise; even if there weren't any walkers around to hear me, the rest of the party would all come running soon enough. "What the fucking hell do you think you are doing?" I hissed in the loudest whisper I could manage.

"What was I supposed to do? There aren't a lot of women so willing to give a performance like that around anymore." He smirked.

I couldn't decide whether to put my clothes back on or kick him in the balls first. I went with the balls kicking. He went down with a dull thud and a pained grunt.

"What's going on?" Songbird asked, running up with her knives in hand. "Oh." She took in the scene and stifled a giggle of her own.

I raised an eyebrow in her direction and recommenced kicking the scopophiliac bastard as he tried to get up, taking advantage of the fact that he was still incapacitated by laughter.

"God, stop! You're killing me!"He gasped between guffaws.

"What the hell is going on here?" Rick's voice rang over Shane's haggard breathing and the sounds of my foot's impact on his side.

I stopped and looked over at the shocked, breathless faces of the men who had obviously thought they were rushing to my rescue. Realizing that I was standing in nothing but my underwear, I squealed and hid behind the suddenly skimpy sundress.

"She was just giving me a little peep show." Shane said once he could breathe again.

"Like hell! I thought I was alone."I snapped back at him.

"You let your defenses down?" Freddy asked incredulously.

"I needed new underwear!" I retorted. "You're a guy, you have no idea how important a good bra is!" I said lamely. I knew I was in the wrong, but I refused to accede to it.

"You could have died! Over a bra!" He countered.

"Then I would have died happy! Jeez! Life is pretty much over, Fred, let me have my pleasures where I can get them." I wanted to storm off, but nobody else was going to get a free show today. "Um, do you guys mind turning around?" I asked pointedly.

The men's jaws slapped back into place and they all turned dutifully if disappointedly. I threw on the dress as quickly as I could, grabbing my bags and walking off without acknowledging the group as I left them behind. I heard Songbird's footfalls in step with mine; I could feel her smiling at me. "Stop that." I snarled.

"Right." She said, unable to keep a straight face. "That was awesome!"

"It was embarrassing!" I cringed at the memory.

"Meh." She dismissed my comment. "I could have watched you beating the crap out of Shane all day."

I gave her a little smile. "Didn't quite knock that smirk off his face, though, did I?"

She just shrugged and linked her arm in mine; the familiarity of it made me uncomfortable, but I decided to let her have her little moment.

I gazed out over the marshy expanse between us and the caravan, not quite sure how to proceed.

"Well, what are you waiting on? Let's go!" Freddy said as he began walking through the soggy field.

"Nope." I stood my ground. "Go on without me." He turned and raised his eyebrows at me. "Do you really think I am going to ruin these perfectly good boots right after I got them?" I gestured down at the cow girl boots I had retrieved while waiting on the men to follow us.

"For real! We worked hard to loot this stuff, why ruin it now?" Songbird chimed in as she discreetly stepped back onto the pavement.

"I am not having this argue…"

"There's no time for this." Shane interrupted as he threw me over his shoulder. "The others were worried enough before; that's why they sent me to find y'all." He began his trek back to the group we had left at the crossroads.

I knew better than to object, anything could set him off and make him drop me in the mud; so I just hung there looking pitiful. T-Dog and Daryl were on the verge of laughter, Glenn seemed to agree with Shane and had already advanced ahead of us and Rick looked taken aback, I could see strain lines forming as he started to say something and then thought better of it and follow us in silence. Freddy looked a little ashamed of himself, he obviously didn't like it that Shane was touching me at all after what had happened in the store, but I saw him turn to Songbird and say something. She immediately perked up and hopped on his back so he could carry her across.

"That was an insane thing to do!" I heard Andrea yell at Songbird when we got back to dryish type land again. I tried to wiggle my way down, but Shane held fast around my legs.

"You don't want a piece of that." He said with a quick squeeze to try to make stop squirming. "Wait a little while so everyone has had some time to cool their heads."

He set me down next to Lori who was shooting daggers at him with her eyes. I wondered if I should set her mind at ease, but I thought better of it; telling her that I kicked the shit out of him because he was watching me strip was probably not the best way to calm her down right now.

"Why don't you two get to know each other while things settle down around here?" Shane said as he wandered off, presumably to interfere with other people's lives again, I guessed.

I turned hesitantly to Lori; she was still staring at Shane's back with a mixture of annoyance and disbelief. "I could, um, leave you alone if you want… go…somewhere…" I looked around; my options were pretty limited, what with the mall being off limits now and all.

"No." She stated flatly, finally looking at me. "He's right; we should get to know one another. After all, there aren't too many people left, are there?"

If there was supposed to be a compliment hidden in there somewhere, I missed it. "Sure!" I said with as much enthusiasm as I could fake. "So…" That was it, all I could give her. Faking was not my strong suit.

"You and Songbird seem to get along well." Was she going to blame me for what turned out to be a fruitful looting trip too? "She is pretty closed mouthed about herself to the rest of us."

"Really? I can't get the thing to shut up!" I laughed. "I mean, there has to be a mute button somewhere, right? Otherwise, how could Daryl put up with her?"

"Oh, so she told you about that?" She asked, surprised.

"In as many words, but it's obvious either way. I just feel bad for Freddy; he can be pretty obtuse when it comes to girls." I shrugged.

"I guess keeping quiet is just how things were done wherever she comes from." Lori said in an offhand way that let me know I was being led on. I guessed I could play along, no sense in making enemies at this point.

"I guess. I wouldn't know where that is, though." I sighed, as if I really wanted to know too. "How long have she and Daryl been with you guys?"

"Oh, Daryl has been with the group since Atlanta fell; we found Songbird on our way out of Georgia." She murmured with a faraway look in her eyes, as if remembering things she would rather forget.

"Really? I thought they had known each other longer than that, the way they are, you know?" I elbowed her in the ribs.

"Yeah. They are that. She used to spend her nights with him in that truck of his. It seems they've had a falling out, though, she's been sleeping in the RV."

"From what I gather, he thinks she's too young." I said flatly.

"Maybe he does have a brain in that scruffy head of his then. Not that it changes what's already happened, though." I could see a glint of satisfaction in her eyes; I guess I had given her what she wanted. "I guess it isn't as bad as Dale and Andrea. There has to be thirty years' difference with those two."

"What?" I asked, leaning in closer.

"Well, they've been close the whole time we've been together, but since Amy died they have been pretty much inseparable."Lori went on; giving me details to back up her suspicions. I noticed she stayed far away from the subject of her relationship triangle.

Freddy came over and plopped down at my feet, leaning against the trunk of the tree we had been standing under. "Songbird is really taking a beating over there. I hope you're proud of yourself."

I did feel guilty about that, but I didn't see why everyone was so upset; we made it out alive after all. "Like you didn't take advantage of the trip yourself." I nodded at his new shirt. "Not that I'm complaining, I was getting tired of looking at your old one."

"Yeah, I think we all got a little something we needed." T-Dog wandered up to us, holding a drink out for me to take.

I accepted it, gulping it down greedily. "And it'll be nice not having to smell all that man stink, right Lori?" I turned to poke her in the ribs again, but she was gone; I saw her making her way towards the children.

"Hey, it wasn't that bad." Glenn said from behind T-Dog. "At least my man stink wasn't."

"Yeah, I bet that one is twice as happy about it." Freddy said with a pointed look at Lori's back. "Seeing as how she has twice the stink around her."

"Oh, y'all caught on to that, huh?" T-Dog asked with a shake of his head.

"Well it is kind of obvious." I answered. "Seems a shame too, there are too few men left in the world without women like her hoarding them all for herself."

"Not all of them." Glenn asserted, then sinking back behind T-Dog again, embarrassed.

Aw, was that Glenn trying to flirt with me? Cute, not that I was interested in the idea of men at the moment.

"Poor guy though." Freddy said before I had a chance to let Glenn down. "Everything else that's happening and his wife is ruining the only good thing he should have left."

"You ain't the only one who feels that way, man." T-Dog agreed. "After everything, he's still a stand up guy, too. He's done everything he could to keep us all alive."

I looked over my shoulder at Rick leaning against Daryl's truck, the two of them having a heart to heart over a couple of beers made it seem like the walkers were all just a bad dream.

"Yeah" Glenn chimed in. "I guess that's what made it so easy for Lori." We all looked at him with our eyebrows raised, waiting for the enlightenment he was about to bestow upon us. "He always chooses what is right for the group, whether it is what right for her or not. Shane is always there when she needs him."

"Huh." T-Dog grunted in surprise. "I guess you're right."

"But doesn't that just make sense?" I asked defiantly. "I mean, I love Freddy and if I had to choose between saving one of you and saving him, I would choose him in a heartbeat; but if I had to choose between him and doing what is right for what could very well be a large percentage of the human race, well, sorry Fred."

"Meh, I always knew you preferred humanity as a whole over me." He said with a shrug.

"You know that isn't true!" I gave him a playful kick. "But if there were no more people to make fun of left, what would we find to talk about?" That earned a few chuckles.

"Y'all seem to be having a good time over here." Rick said.

"Oh, my sister is just telling me how she would throw me under the bus for a few laughs." Freddy said with melodramatic flair.

"Yep." I giggled. "I am only keeping you around for the moment I can get optimum happiness from your demise."

"Aw, you're too cute to be that evil." Rick said with a grin.

Was I blushing? Oh God, I was. Why the hell was I blushing? Turn away! Turn away! Don't let him see it!

"See, evil people just don't blush like that." Rick leaned closer, giving me a wink.

I found myself with no comprehensible words to respond with, so I just kind of stood there like an idiot while everyone laughed at me.

Rick shook his head with a laugh. "I think we should be about ready to head out, now that we know there is a hard bottom on the marsh." He reported.

"Sounds good." T-Dog replied. "Want us to start packing everyone up now?"

"Yeah, let's try to move out within the hour." He responded, slapping Glenn on the back and giving me one last smile before turning to leave.

Back on the road again, I had plenty of time to think about everything that had happened today; and I decided that maybe I have been a bit foolhardy. I was sure I could have talked everyone into going to the mall without forcing their hands the way I did, not that I felt any of the negative effects of the trip; but I wished that the backlash hadn't hit Songbird the way it did. Where was she anyway? I didn't see which vehicle she had gotten into, but she wasn't riding with Freddy anymore.

Maybe Andrea and Dale wouldn't let her ride with him; would she let them tell her what to do like that? I might need to give her some pointers on how to be a modern independent woman in the age of a zombie apocalypse. That might be fun.

Fun, the thought of it brought Rick to the forefront of my mind and the way he had openly flirted with me today. I guessed he really needed it, after all, everything else in his life had gone to shite; and it wasn't exactly like I minded it. I still couldn't believe that I had blushed like that! Did I really like him that much? I pictured him smiling at me again and felt the flush of blood on my cheeks, yeah, I guess I did.

We slowly made our way through Arkansas, moving cars and making camp in a predictable cadence. We noticed the number of cars begin to dwindle as the landscape flattened out; it felt good to be nearly home.

The last night we made camp before we would make it to the farm; I noticed everyone seemed to be staring at Freddy and me. I supposed I had more of a spring in my step the closer we got to home. Freddy was almost glowing with the amount of smiling he was doing.

"Didn't your mama ever tell you that your face could freeze like that?" Shane asked as we all sat around the fire for dinner.

"Yeah, Fred; your face is bad enough already." I snorted.

"You're one to talk." He gave me a playful shove.

The air was full of excited electricity and I could barely hold it in. I held the hope close, because to think of the alternative was unbearable. They had to be alive. I refused to believe otherwise. That night, I lay awake imagining the looks on my father's and James' faces when they found we were alive too; holding back the tears that were fighting against my happy thoughts.

We made it to the farm at around two in the afternoon. From the road all you could see was a cabin in the middle of a field and a stone tower a few hundred yards away, all wrapped in three razor wire fences.

"Don't look like much." Daryl said derisively as he hopped out of his truck.

"Wait!" I called. "They might've put some new mines out. You all had better stay put until we know for sure." Freddy and I walked gingerly down the path, carefully looking for signs of newly laid traps. Nothing.

Freddy bent down to the mailbox and said "Hey! We're here!"

I knew he looked completely idiotic. "There's a camera." I told the others so they didn't think we were just crazy. The words had only just left my mouth when the door to the cabin flew open.

"Took you long enough!" My dad's booming voice called over the seemingly endless expanse between us. He stepped out into the sunlight, his bright red hair was shocking against his usual untidy fatigues. Thank God! I felt like I had been holding my breath since we left San Antonio. It felt like an eternity for him to open the padlocks to let us in.

"Daddy!" I jumped into his arms and he laughed.

"Still my little girl." He pulled Fred into the embrace. "Good job keeping her alive, son."

"It wasn't easy, that's for sure." Freddy said, ruffling my hair.

"I don't doubt that." James' calm quiet voice carried from the door of the cabin. "She always did have a way of finding trouble."

"James!" I ran to him and let him shower kisses over my hair. I felt the tears finally break through and James shushed me quietly.

"No need in crying now," He smiled down at me. "I don't want your father to start and embarrass me in front of these strangers, wee angel."

I wiped my eyes on the handkerchief he offered. "We met them in Lula."

"Oh, angel." I knew he would understand; the only thing I had in Lula was my mother. "I'm sorry."

"No point in standing out here crying and being sorry," Daddy said, pulling James close. "Invite your friends in, we'll swap war stories over dinner; besides, it's been a while since I've had a decent sparring partner."

End of Part Three


	4. Chapter 4

James still had his arm around me as he led me into the old shell empty shell of a cabin. Freddy turned to the others. "Aren't you guys coming in?"

I peeked over my shoulder to see them cautiously start to make their way down the narrow gravel path. Freddy stayed behind and shut the gates behind them, carefully making sure all of the locks were in place. I made a note to try and be more dependable, like Freddy.

We all crammed into the limited space the tiny building had to offer; everyone looking around in disbelief at the lack of, well, everything.

"Well, what are you all standing around for?" Daddy asked as he pulled up a large square piece of the floor to reveal a gleaming metal hatch. He unlocked it and said "Please, do come in," gesturing down with his hand.

I laughed, but no one else seemed to think it was funny. In fact, they were all standing completely still, staring at the hole in the floor with almost horror stricken faces. "What's the matter?"

"We've recently had a, um, unpleasant experience with underground accommodations." Glenn responded with a slight crack in his voice.

"But you knew it was going to be underground." Freddy said with a bit of a derisive edge to his voice. "Why get cold feet now?" Maybe aspiring to be more like Fred was a little misguided.

"Leave them alone, Frederick." I chided. "Whatever happened was obviously terrible. Give them some time to adjust."

"What happened?" Songbird asked, looking to Daryl for answers.

Shane responded instead. "We were nearly cooked alive by the CDC."

"What the hell were you doing at the CDC?" Daddy spat incredulously. It was a valid question; after all, it did seem to be a disease causing all this trouble, why go to the place it probably started from?

Everyone looked at Rick. "It seemed like a good idea at the time." Shane snorted; apparently he'd had a different plan.

Daddy just shook his head. "That's almost as stupid as going to an Army base. No one in the government is going to be able to fix this shit."

James put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Don't get all worked up about it here. We're trying to calm them down, love." His voice was like a lullaby.

"Daddy has issues with, um, 'the man'" I said with air quotes. "But I'm sure he won't have any problems with you guys." I grinned at Rick and Shane, suddenly realizing that no one had officially been introduced to my fathers. "Oh, this is my dad, the Rooster." I linked my arm through his.

James interjected, "You lot can just call him Roo. It keeps him a little less…" He was trying to think of a word that would not scare them too much, "anxious." Rooster shot him an agitated glance.

"And this is James, our, uh, other dad. Okay, you guys can work your stuff out; I'm going to go get dinner started." I stated. Knowing someone would finish the meet and greet, I began lowering myself into the hatchway. "What do we have that can feed everybody?"

"Take a look in the freezers; I'm sure you'll find something." James smiled at me before I let myself slide down the ladder.

"Can I come?" Songbird's voice asked when my feet found the floor. "I could help."

I thought about it for a second. "Sure, come on down." Maybe having her down here was all the encouragement the rest of them needed.

I waited as Songbird ambled down the ladder with the ease of an acrobat, making me think about how Lori had said no one knew exactly where she was from. I wondered if I could get it out of her. I've been needing a new hobby, maybe this could be it. The familiar surroundings of home put me in a good mood, which only made the fact that Songbird was looking so pitiful that much worse.

"What's wrong?" I asked, surprising myself by linking my arm in hers.

She shook her head. "I am really happy that your dad's are okay, and I'm really happy that you're happy. Anything I say now would just ruin that for you."

The corridor ended and we found ourselves in the "command" room where Daddy kept his video feeds and radio monitors that he used for "security" purposes. I walked over to a map covered with black Xs and red circles. "I guess he has been keeping tabs on the outbreak." I murmured

"This validates everything I have ever thought about paranoid underground survivalists." Songbird muttered. "Hey! They have an internet connection here! And electrical outlets!"

"Yep; I can't be sure if the internet is even still working, but we have a good supply of generators, so you can charge your precious laptop anytime you need." I said with a grin. "Come on, I'll show you my room then we should get to the kitchen."

We went through the living area, an open space with traditional antique furnishings. There was an electric fireplace in one corner with an old worn area rug in front of it and soft leather couches comfortably spread into niches. A large book case loomed over the room, taking up the entire wall across from the fire. Songbird ran to the books and scanned the shelves, occasionally pulling out a tome and doing a happy dance or smelling it before putting it back in its place. I laughed and pointed out a few of my favorites before we moved on.

My room, or rather my _rooms_, were at the end of another long corridor. I indicated the door across the hall from mine. "That leads to the tower." I told her. "Maybe you'll be on watch duty with me." I thought aloud as I twisted the knob to let her into my quarters.

"That would be nice." She agreed before stepping inside and letting out a long whistle. "This is amazing!" The room was filled with theater seating, leading up to a small stage with a large flat screen television behind it.

"Yeah, I like it." I opened another door to the right of the stage and tossed my packs on the floor beside the steps leading up to my California king bed. "You have to fill your energy quota before you can use it though." I pointed to an exercise bike in the left corner of the room that was hooked up to a generator. "Even then, we usually have hour long rations of recreational electricity every day."

"Wow, you guys run a tight ship here." She said with a hint of awe in her voice.

"It's all the Rooster's doing. Without him, I'm sure the whole world would fall apart." I sighed.

"Hasn't it already?"

"Touché." I smiled. "We should go ahead and get the food started." I said as I made my way back into the hall.

"Yeah, I guess." Songbird consented, looking back longingly at the entertainment system before shutting the door behind her.

We weren't in the kitchen for more than ten minutes before I realized that Songbird had no idea what she was doing.

"Hmm… there are about five chickens in the fridge, thank God; I really didn't want to have to wait for anything to defrost. How do you feel about fried chicken?" I said, pulling the birds out and setting them on the counter.

"I love it!" was the enthusiastic reply.

"Great! I'll start cutting them up; could you get a pot of water boiling so I can make some mashed potatoes to go with it?" I handed her a large stockpot and pulled a butcher's knife from the block.

"Okay!" She said just as cheerily, filling the pot from the pump faucet, then she stood with it in front of the stove, a look of confusion on her face. "How do you turn the oven on, Lucky?"

"Well, the _stove_ uses these knobs." I stopped piecing the meat to point at the knobs with my elbow. "Just set it to high so the water can boil, then you can start peeling the potatoes. They are in there." I nodded at the pantry.

"Oh, okay." She set the pot on to the back burner, turned a knob and went to get the potatoes. I looked over and noticed that the pot was not set on the element she had turned on, so I washed my hands and fixed it, putting some salt into the water while I was there.

Songbird came back, pulled a knife from one of her pouches and began to slice huge chunks out of the tubers, which she just let fall onto the floor.

"Um, you remember that we are inside now, right?" I asked as I separated the last two pieces of chicken from each other. Washing my hands again, I pulled a vegetable peeler out of a drawer and handed it to her before sliding the trash can over and throwing the hunks she had wasted into it. "Why don't you wash those first?"

She gave me an embarrassed look, but did as I asked. Once she had washed all of the potatoes, she held up the peeler. "Lucky, what is this thing?"

I let out an exasperated sigh. "It's a vegetable peeler. You were wasting a lot of the good part with your knife."

She hung her head. "Sorry." She began slowly peeling the potatoes with the unfamiliar tool. I felt bad for her; she didn't really seem to function well with domestic life.

The potatoes were finally peeled by the time I had my second batch of chicken in the skillet and some creamed corn and macaroni and cheese started. I made sure to give Songbird lots of praise for her hard work, but I was sure she heard the patronizing tone I tried to keep out of my voice.

I had just started mixing the ingredients for chocolate filling for a cream pie when Carol walked into the room.

"Is there anything I can help with?" She asked shyly, Sofia clung to her leg.

"I think I have it all under control, but if you want, you can put the macaroni in the oven for me." I said, whisking feverishly, nodding at the baking dish I had set out for the task.

Carol smiled and sent her daughter to sit by Songbird as she grabbed a couple of oven mitts from the counter and pulled the creamy macaroni and cheese off of the stove. Songbird just sat at the table, watching us and looking forlorn.

Rick brought Carl in, "Sorry, I thought this was the way to the bathroom." He said as he started to turn around.

"It is; it's right through there." I pointed the way for him.

Carl ran hurriedly through the door. "Seems it was an emergency." Rick chuckled. "How are you ladies doing in here?"

"Just fine." Carol said as she drained the potatoes.

"What are you making in here anyway?" He asked, leaning over my shoulder as I pulled the last batch of chicken out of the skillet.

I was extremely aware of how close his face was to mine, making me blush again. "Fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, some creamed corn and a chocolate cream pie for dessert. Hope you brought your appetite." I responded breathily, agitated at my reaction to him.

"How did you know fried chicken was my favorite?" He asked, pulling a drumstick from the platter and taking a big bite as Carl came out of the bathroom. "Oh God! I haven't had chicken this good since my mom used to make it for me." With a sly look at Carl, he said. "Don't tell your mother I said that."

Carl gave him a big grin; but his comment made me remember that he was a married man and obviously still thought of himself as such. I just put on a smile and tried to hide my disappointment as I moved away from them to fill the pie crusts and put them in the refrigerator.

A few minutes later, Lori and Andrea wandered in, asking if they could help too. I issued orders, even letting Songbird set the table, and soon the meal was set out and the rest of the men drifted in. As the group started sitting down, I went into the pantry and pulled out a few two liters of soda and a couple of bottles of wine from under the stairs. I set them on table and sat down myself. I could still feel apprehension from my acquaintances, but they seem to have put their trepidation aside for the moment and were laughing as they dug into the food set in front of them.

I heard Songbird say something about making the potatoes possible and felt bad for basically shutting her out of the kitchen, so I decided to talk her up now. "She also made eating possible by setting the table." She smiled at me after giving the table a little bow.

"So you can watch your entire property from your central station?" Rick was asking the Rooster.

"Most of it." He replied. "We still use our watch tower." He took a swig of his wine and pointed at the general population at the table. "I'm actually pretty happy to have such a large group; James and I weren't able to keep a proper watch with just the two of us here."

"A 'proper' watch?" Glenn asked.

"Two sets of eyes in the tower for eight hour stretches." I answered. "We have a signal that sounds throughout the entire compound if something is spotted; that way everyone can be put on their guard in the event of an attack."

"Sounds pretty efficient." Rick said with approval. "So that is what that tower is for." He seemed to be looking at the security dynamics from all sides in his head.

"Daddy is a genius with security and defense." I gushed. "He and James built this whole farm from the ground down in the eighties."

"Farm?" Glenn asked, though Rick looked confused too.

"This is a totally self sufficient residence." I stated proudly. "Complete with a working farm and multiple sources of energy including solar panels, wind turbines and a water wheel."

"And all of the man powered inventions you built." Daddy said with a smile at me. "She makes her own energy for her entertainment units so that it doesn't detract from the main system."

"So that was what the bike was for?" Songbird asked, I could almost see the light bulb come on over her head.

The others looked at her quizzically, but she just smiled, completely lost in her own revelation.

"Y'all don't forget about the pie." I gave the Rooster a kiss on the head as I got up.

"As if we could." Rick said with a grin at me. I saw the Rooster's eyebrows rise; he knew flirting when he saw it.

I blushed and muttered something about going to take a shower before hurrying off.

While in the shower, I savored the hot water, allowing it to run through my hair, something I hadn't been doing while on the road to conserve time and water. I watched the blue temporary color swirl down the drain and lathered shampoo into my drenched hair.

Rick popped into my head again and I shoved the image away. _No, he isn't anywhere near available_, I shouted inwardly. The way he looked at me, though, and the way he talked to me, was he just teasing? No, I didn't think so, but it was possible that he was using me; he did need an outlet from that love triangle between him, Lori and Shane. That whole situation was fucked up; I really couldn't imagine what anyone was thinking. What I did know was that I needed to stay away from the married police officer, being around him made me not function properly. I scrubbed the outside world off of my skin until it turned raw, rinsing the stink of walkers down the drain with my hair dye and hopes of ever finding an available decent man in this fucked up world.

I stepped out of the shower and dried off, combing out my waist length hair and putting it into two slender braids. What was that noise in the game room? Was Songbird watching a movie or something? I decided to go tell her to keep it down, wrapping an oversized pink towel around myself. When I opened the door, I was taken slightly aback that my room was completely filled with people going through my things.

"Ah, I see you guys found my room." I stated flatly.

"I thought your hair was blue." Songbird exclaimed in surprise. Really?

"Yeah, that was my natural color, just dyed it auburn to confuse you guys." I said, rolling my eyes.

Noticing that everyone's eyes were on me and my unclad body, I retreated back into my bed room.

"I need to tell you something." Songbird said, hurrying in before I could shut the door behind me.

"I'm kinda naked here; can't it wait until I'm fully clothed?" I asked, wondering what could have gotten her so anxious. I went to find something to wear in the closet. I picked out some pink pajama shorts and a matching pink tank top as Songbird muttered incoherently outside. "Spit it out!" I called impatiently.

"A lesbian!" What? What the hell did lesbians have to do with anything? And why was Songbird so eager to talk about them? Oh God, she wasn't trying to come onto me was she? "They might think you're a lesbian… and a virgin."

"I am a virgin." I said before what she had said sank in. "Wait! What?" Who was they? And why were they assuming it was their business to make me a lesbian virgin?

"I'm so sorry!" Songbird said, bursting through the closet door with a pitifully distressed look on her face.

Oh great, Songbird was spreading rumors about me now. "Why are _you_ sorry?" I asked huffily.

"Um…it may have been me that gave them that impression…the virgin thing. Shane tricked me! But the lesbian thing was all your dad!" Songbird said in a desperate tone.

"Why? Why would? No. Never mind. I don't want to know." I just decided to drop it. It wasn't the first time people have thought this about me; I never had a lot of girl friends, so people just assumed I had girlfriends. Meh.

"Are you mad at me?" Songbird whined.

"No, I'm just concerned with your conversational skills. I was gone for 30 minutes and my whole reputation went to hell!" Not that I really had a reputation with these people anyway.

"I told you Shane tricked me. He's like that. Tricky" Songbird started rambling.

I was just tired and wanted to rest now that I felt safe enough to actually relax. "What's done is done. Let me just go usher everyone out of my room so I can get some sleep."

I led her out of my closet to see Shane poke his head into my room. Really? Am I not going to have any privacy with these people around? "It's nice to see you coming out of the closet together!"

Yep, that was really original. "Fuck you, Shane. Get out of my room!" We followed him out and I tried to be as nice to the group rummaging through my stuff as possible, but was a little too tired to pull off 'polite'. "I kinda want to sleep now…so if you guys wouldn't mind…good night," I waved them away, and was surprised to see them actually leaving.

I started to walk back to my bedroom when Songbird stopped me again. "Wait! I don't know where to sleep because I was with you when your dads showed everyone else…"

"Yes. Yes, just go." I said, knowing what she wanted and too tired to argue. "Just take a shower before coming to bed." The last thing I needed was Songbird getting Daryl germs all in my bed.

I thought I might have heard her say something after that, but I ignored everything else and just climbed into the bed for some much deserved sleep.

"Oh God, Daryl! Just give me what I want!" Songbird yelled.

I shot up in the bed, completely horrified by what I was hearing. I looked over, afraid of what I might find, but it was just Songbird talking in her sleep. "Really? You too, huh?"

"I waaant it!" She muttered.

Yep, I was not going to be able to go back to sleep now. Not when memories of the last sleep talker I'd heard came flooding back to me. Maybe if I got something to drink I could forget about it. I got up and grabbed a flashlight from beside my bed, then headed in the direction of the kitchen. I was surprised to find the kitchen light still on; the clock on the living room wall said it was 2:15, who else would be up at this hour?

Rick was sitting at the table, scooping pie directly out of the pan with a spoon. Well, so much for '_operation stay away from Rick'_. He looked surprised and a little embarrassed when he saw me walk through the door.

"Couldn't sleep either?" I asked, grabbing a bottle of water from the counter before plopping into the chair beside him.

"I couldn't stop thinking about this pie." He grinned.

"Is it good?" I asked, noticing there were only a few bites left in the pan. "Aw, I didn't even get any."

"Well, that won't do; here." He held a spoonful of pie to my mouth. I looked at him dubiously. "I promise I don't have cooties or anything."

I took the bite, a noise of pleasure escaping as the flavor of chocolate exploded in my mouth. My eyes had fluttered closed, but they shot opened as I realized what I had done. I could feel the blush spreading over my body and I turned away, fiddling with the cap on my bottle of water.

"Yep, that's exactly how I feel about it too." Rick said. I ventured a glance at him from under my lashes to see him offering me another bite. "You look like you could use some more of this." Had his voice gotten a little rougher? I opened my mouth obediently, trying and failing not to look at him as the sensation of pleasure hit me again. I did a better job of controlling my reaction to it this time, but I couldn't stifle a soft moan.

I eyed the last bite. Rick must have noticed that he was kind of staring at me, I could see pink tinge his skin as he looked from me to the pie pan. It was an eternity before he scooped it up. I held my mouth open again; but instead of feeding me, he put the spoon between his own lips.

"Hey!" I squealed indignantly, putting on more pout than I had since I was five. Jeez, what was wrong with me?

"Oh, did you want that?" He asked me with a sly sideways glance.

"You are a tease, Rick Grimes." I poked him in the chest as if to emphasize my point. Whoa, where did that come from? I don't get into peoples' personal space like that. Stupid married police officer, making me function all wrong.

He seemed to be enjoying it, though; a huge smile was playing across his face, despite the fact that he was trying to hold it back. "Not me."He chuckled.

I grabbed at the spoon in his hand; he held it just out of reach with another laugh. "Oh you're not?" I asked grasping for it again, only to come out empty handed. I sighed and took the pie pan over to the sink and started washing it, scrubbing furiously. I heard Rick laugh again as he finally conceded the spoon to me, bringing it to the sink. I yanked it out of his hand and turned from him, pretending to be mad.

"Oh don't be like that." I could feel him behind me, the heat from his body covering my back.

I tried to wash the spoon, my hands shaking under the water; but I kept dropping it and finally gave up. I turned slowly to face him again, gasping softly when I saw just how close he was. There was a kind of hunger in his eyes that made me take an inadvertent step towards him. He let his hands rest on my hips and I felt him shudder as his fingers gently caressed my skin where my shorts and tank top failed to meet.

I melted under his touch, letting him pull me closer, savoring the tingling trail his fingers left behind as they drifted up my back. I let out another moan and he cupped my face in his hands, bringing his lips down to brush against mine.

"I can't." The words had come of their own accord, some stronger part of me that I had forgotten at the moment I had laid eyes on him tonight.

"Oh." Was all he said as his hands fell from my face and he took a step back.

"I mean, I want to." I really, really wanted to; my body was still reeling from how close he had been a moment ago. "But you're still… and I'm… I'm not that girl."

"No. No you're definitely not that girl." He reached out and caressed my cheek with the back of his hand. "You're something special." He let his hand fall to fists at his side and turned away from me.

I resisted the urge to throw my arms around him and pull him back, standing there watching his back as it moved farther away from me. "This doesn't change anything, does it?" Again, I heard my voice before my brain had a chance to react.

He stopped, seemed to think about it for a moment, and then looked back at me. "Not if you don't want it to."

"I kind of like the way you make me blush." Did I? "Besides, I still can't sleep; want to keep me company till I drift off?"

He studied my face for a long second before answering in the affirmative. We moved into the living room and sat by the "fire"; I told him how Songbird's sleep talking had woke me up and he had a good laugh about that. "I guess they're a bit closer than they let on." He chuckled.

"I'm just tired of being woken up with their overly loud fantasies of each other." I shuddered. "And she told me he's been avoiding her."

"Yeah, I don't see the sense in that." We both tensed up at that. I looked away from him, a little ashamed of myself for holding out on him. I knew how hard it was to find something good in this hell of a world, what right did I have to keep him from having something he deserved, something I desperately wanted? "Lori kicked me out tonight." He said flatly, interrupting my reverie.

"Wha…I…" I really didn't know what to say to that.

"She's been distant for a while. I've stopped pretending I don't know why." There was a catch to his voice that made me want to wrap him in my arms and forget all about Lori. He sighed. "Still, I…" He trailed off.

I let myself put my hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Rick."I had no idea what to say in a situation like this. Really, what did one say to the man who had just tried to kiss you when he poured his heart out about his failing marriage?

It seemed to be enough, he took my hand in his and we sat in silence. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep until the Rooster was shaking me awake.

"Uh huh." Was all he said. I realized I was sprawled out on the couch with my head in Rick's lap. I shot up and looked around. "Don't worry. No one else saw you." He drawled with a shake of his head. Rick woke up from the commotion and looked properly embarrassed at the sight of my father standing over him.

"Morning sir." He said respectfully before turning to me. "What's for breakfast?"

I slapped him in the chest with a cushion. "Is food all you ever think about?"

He pretended to be winded for a second before giving me a chuckle in return. Daddy just cocked an eyebrow and handed us both steaming mugs of coffee. "So, what _is_ for breakfast, honey?"

I let out an exasperated sigh and took the offered mug before stomping off to the kitchen. I started making some biscuits and eggs while the men sat at the table and talked security. Daddy wanted to set up a watch roster and Rick was giving him suggestions for who would work well together.

Songbird came in looking chipper, but then she probably really enjoyed her dreams last night. I thanked God I was only in the bed for a tiny part of them. Rick caught my eye and flashed me a smile, obviously picking up on what I was thinking about. I had made a mental note to smack him later when Songbird chirped. "Morning! Where's the pie." The pie?

"What?" I asked, surprised she hadn't asked about Daryl.

"The pie," Songbird said. "I didn't have room for any last night and I really, really want some now."

"Rick ate it." I told her, conveniently leaving out my part in the crime.

Songbird looked so stricken by the news that it was all I could do to keep from laughing. "All of it? But…"

"It was really good." Rick confessed with a knowing look in my direction.

"I know!" Songbird answered. "And I wanted more than this much!" She held her fingers together to indicate how small her slice had been. "You had two freakin' slices at dinner!"

I raised my eyebrows at Rick who just shrugged. Daryl walked in and she continued to whine about the pie to him; I decided to block out as much of their conversation as possible, concentrating on scrambling eggs and pulling biscuits out of the oven.

"The point is…" Songbird's voice cut through the air, ruining my attempt to ignore her. "There's no pie. I wanted that pie all night long and he just…stole it!"

"Sure, pie is what you wanted all night long," I said under my breath, irritated at having to think about someone else's fantasies when I couldn't act on mine.

"What?" Songbird asked.

"You talk in your sleep." I told her flatly. "And you sure as hell weren't talking about pie last night." I gave Daryl a pointed look. Maybe they would both get the hint and I could have my bed all to myself again. I could see Rick shaking with laughter out of the corner of my eye, well, maybe not _all_ to myself.

Songbird flushed and sat down at the table, still muttering about the pie. "Jeez! It was just pie!" I said exasperatedly.

"Just pie?" Rick asked with a teasing tone.

"Oh shut up Rick!" I blushed, hoping he wouldn't elaborate on my pie experience. Songbird looked like she wanted to say something about our exchange but the rest of the group started making their way into the kitchen and she seemed to think better of it.

I set the food on the table and let everyone know where the coffee pot was if they wanted any, then sat down myself and asked the Rooster about the watch schedule. "Have you figured anything out yet?"

"I thought a rotating schedule would work, so no one has to always be on night duty or day duty. You don't mind showing everybody the ropes around here do you?" He asked Freddy and me. "It would mean you'd have duty everyday for a while, but that would be good for you." He gave me a wink.

"Sure." We said at the same time.

"Very good." Daddy nodded approvingly. "Lucille, why don't you give everyone the grand tour? Freddy, you can have first watch with me this morning."

"Okay." I agreed, wanting to spend some time reacquainting myself with the place anyway. "Anything I need to do while I'm wandering around?"

"I already milked this morning." James said over a forkful of scrambled eggs. "And it's obvious I brought in the eggs, but the animals need to be fed and the milk tank needs to be cleaned."

I gave him a thumbs up as I took a bite out of my biscuit. I spent the rest of breakfast trying not to look directly at Rick, Songbird or Daryl; thanking Carol and Andrea for cleaning the dishes up after supper last night, asking my dads about any new developments on the compound, staring at my empty plate; finally I just got up and started cleaning up after everyone. Songbird joined me at the sink, giving me a questioning glance, I shook my head; the last thing I wanted to do was talk about last night while everyone was in the room.

.


	5. Chapter 5

Once the kitchen was clean I put on some clean clothes, a pair of skinny jeans, my new cowgirl boots, a tee shirt that had a digital clock on it and said "look ma, no hands!" and a blue and silver striped scarf. I brushed out my hair and let the waves cascade down my back. It felt nice to not worry about something undead grabbing at my hair to try and eat me. When I stepped out into my game room, I found the group lounging around, waiting for me.

"Took you long enough." Shane said with a smirk. "We didn't think you'd have a problem, already being out of the closet and all."

My jaw just about dropped when Rick responded with "Well, from my experience, I can guarantee that is not the case." I could feel the red covering my body as he gave me a wink and tipped his sheriff's hat at me.

I opened my mouth, wanting to get a move on before this got any more embarrassing, but Lori decided to dig the hole a little deeper. "And what "experience" would that be?" She asked vehemently.

"I don't ask you about your experiences." Rick spat back.

I decided it was time to end this, it was getting uncomfortable for everybody. "Okay, enough awkwardness for one morning," I started walking towards the door. "Shall we go?"

Songbird jumped up enthusiastically. "Yes!"

I stepped out of the room and waited for everyone to follow before opening the door across the hall. "I am going to assume you guys are pretty familiar with the living quarters of the compound, so let's get started with the tower." We stepped into a round room with a spiraling stairwell and three other doors evenly spaced along the walls. "This is the center of our property. Up there is where you will be keeping watch." I pointed up the stairs as I crossed the gloomy grey room and opened the door there with a scrape against the dirt floor. "We keep our livestock out here. We usually keep about thirty chickens, fifteen goats and five cows at a time."

Songbird interrupted me. "Where are your horses?"

"We don't have any."

She looked sad and confused. "But, it's a farm."

"We don't have huge acres for them to plough and they take up space and food." I looked at her disappointed face and felt a little bad for her, especially after the pie incident. "Sorry."

"Meh." She shrugged. "I forgive you."

I laughed and strode over to the silo and loaded a wheel barrow with silage to feed the milkers while the group took a closer look at everything in the yard.

"Look at the goats, mama!" Sofia squealed as the kids came running after their mothers who'd heard me bringing their food. "Can I hold one?

I looked at Carol who was smiling at the happiness on her daughter's face. "Is it alright?" She nodded and I picked the most docile looking of the bunch and placed it in her outstretched arms. Its mother came sniffing around; finding the giggling Sofia to her liking, she went back to the trough with her sisters.

I left the laughing child and her mother with the kids and started throwing the grains out for the chickens that squawked noisily in gratitude; then took the wheel barrow back to the barn. I turned around to see that Lori had followed me.

"Songbird told me about you and my husband." She told me in what I was sure she thought was an intimidating tone. "I don't really appreciate it, I find it disrespectful."

"As opposed to what? The way _you_ treat _him_?" I answered, holding my chin up high. "Besides, I doubt Songbird knows anything about me and your _husband_."

"How I treat him is none of your concern." She said acidly.

I rolled my eyes. "No it isn't, but he deserves better. You can't deny that, and you probably feel a little guilty about it, otherwise you wouldn't be taking it out on me for wanting to make him happy." I stated matter of factly, walking around her; stopping abruptly when I saw Rick standing just outside the barn door. "Did you hear that?" I asked, my stomach turning at the thought.

He nodded. "I did. Did you mean it?"

"I did." I said moments before Lori put herself between us.

"We need to talk." She informed him, shutting me out of the conversation.

Rick gave me a tender look before turning to Lori. "Yes. We do."

They left me standing there looking after them. "You can come out now Daryl."

"I wasn't hidin'" He had the good grace to look a little ashamed of himself.

"Meh." I shrugged. "What do you think?"

"About what?" He asked, avoiding the question.

"I'm not just imagining it, right?" I queried, suddenly aware that I might be. "He likes me too?"

"If he doesn't he should." I threw my arms around him, thankful that he was there and that he didn't mock me; maybe I should help him more in the Songbird department. He cleared his throat and patted my back. I pulled away, not wanting to make him _too_ uncomfortable.

"Hey." Songbird's pitiful voice came from a few feet behind Daryl. I smiled at her, but she looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"What the fuck?" I asked, not wanting to deal with any more drama at the moment.

"Nothing. Nothing the fuck. I'm just happy you're happy, and that you're getting along so well. Because you're touching and that's what people do when they get along right? I'm just so happy…happy that you're touching." She was rambling.

Daryl and I shared a look and told him to deal with it. "That's all yours. I'm going to round the rest of the group up. We should be moving on."

I made my way back to the middle of the barnyard, calling for everyone to make their way back. "You guys will have lots of time to look around later." We traveled back down the dark corridor and into the central hub of the tower. I opened another door, which led to the gardens. James was at work in a small raised bed, pruning and weeding. He smiled and waved us over.

"You wouldn't mind taking these in on your way back, would you?" He asked amicably, pointing at a group of baskets filled with produce. "I've still got a lot of work to do out here."

"Sure!" I smiled back at him. "Just don't work to hard out here."

"Don't worry; your father has been keeping tabs on me." He showed me his walkie-talkie.

"What's that?" Songbird asked, pointing at a marijuana plant.

"This is New York Diesel." James answered. "It helps with the Rooster's, um, PTSD."

"It's pot, Songbird." I told her, wondering what she would say about it, innocent that she was.

"What's pot mom?" Carl asked

"It's a medicine, something no one should touch unless a doctor tells them to take it." James offered, garnering an agitated look from Lori.

"But that isn't what pot looks like." Songbird stated. "I thought it was…you know, long and white." I saw Daryl laugh into her hair. "What?" She looked confused by everyone's amused faces. "That's the only kind of pot I've ever seen."

"Just goes to show that this world was falling to pieces before this disaster ever hit." James shook his head with disappointment. "Kids not even knowing what pot looks like." He trailed off, going back to his weeding. The rest of the group split up to look around again and James left his maintenance behind, eagerly pointing out different plants to them and explained how useful they were.

"Joints." I told Songbird.

"What about them?" She asked, confused.

"That's what you were thinking of, marijuana already rolled into smoke-able form." I said, plucking a few mint leaves to chew on.

"Oh" she said, the light bulb coming out again. "That makes sense."

I was strolling around with Carol, Dale and Andrea, chatting about how lovely the aster and toad lilies looked in full bloom when Rick joined us; he looked dejected and tired, but he seemed to perk up a little when I gave him a smile. "I have to say, I didn't expect it to be so impressive."He mused, running his fingers over a patch of wispy red spider lilies.

I laughed, "I keep telling everyone that Daddy and James are geniuses."

"That is definitely true." Dale said approvingly. "This place is amazing." Andrea and Carol nodded in agreement.

"I've missed it." I played with the ends of my hair, not really used to telling others how I felt. "Not the mechanics but the home. This was the first summer I had ever spent away." My voice cracked a bit and I cleared my throat, eager to change the subject. "I can't wait to see it in the winter."

"You mean you haven't?" Andrea asked.

"My dad only got visitation for two weeks a year, and then I had college; I regret it now, but they wanted me to be able to make a life for myself." I saw James showing the children a praying mantis and smiled.

"I think everybody regrets the time we wasted before all of this happened."Carol said with a faraway look in her eye. "No one could've seen this coming or we all would've done things differently."

Andrea put her arm around Carol's shoulders, tears threatening in her own eyes. "Yeah."

"What were you in school for?" Dale asked, almost desperate for a distraction.

"Oh, I majored in physics with a double minor in psychology and philosophy." I muttered, looking at the ground and hoping that information wouldn't make anyone think I could solve their problems for them.

"Wow." Andrea said, I looked up to find everybody looking at me wide eyed.

"That physics degree is pretty priceless right about now." I joked lamely, wishing I didn't have so much attention on me right now.

"No kidding." Dale was impressed. "But what good did it do in the real world?" He asked, as if we had been sucked into a perverse video game or something.

I laughed. "I was a professor at Clemson University." I said with a shrug. "But it helped when I worked in the shop during the summer too."

"The shop?" Rick asked.

"My dads had an antique weapons shop in Wichita; they went completely digital a few years back, but they still vended at weapons shows. That's what Freddy and I were doing in San Antonio when this whole nightmare started." I answered enthusiastically; talking about guns had always gotten me excited.

"Antique weapons, huh?" Rick asked, his interest piqued.

"I do seem to remember you saying something about your father being a weapons expert." Dale asserted.

"I could show you guys, if you want." I said, looking at Rick as I said it, hoping it would be something he would be interested in. I seemed to have developed a need to make him feel better.

"I know I'd be interested." He said, taking a step closer to me, making me forget that we weren't the only people standing there. "I have something I want to talk to you about anyway." He breathed into my ear.

I felt myself flush, smiling up at him, I said, "No need to wait to talk about it, I'm not quite sure what I'm making for dinner yet, Mr. Grimes."

He laughed. "I don't only think about food, Miss Lucy Mackensie." His fingers caressed my hair, lightly grazing my back until his hand came to rest on my hip. "I'm sure you'll figure that out soon enough."

I was sure I had turned bright red at this point; the sound of someone clearing their throat brought me back to earth. "Um, I'm going to see about helping James with those vegetables." I said, not wanting to see the looks on everyone's faces after my shameless display.

James was adding ears of corn to his basket when I walked up to him. "Well, he certainly seems to like you." He said, not looking up from his task. "I was worried when we saw you two on the couch this morning, but you're just as awkward as ever so…"His voice trailed off, but I knew exactly what he meant.

"He's kind of married." I stated, looking through the stalks for anything edible. It was a fact that I usually only remembered when he wasn't directly in front of me.

"Huh." He passed me a basket and I began tossing the ripe ears I found into it. "_She_ certainly seems to have forgotten all about that."

I looked over his head to see Lori and Shane on the other side of the garden, standing extremely close as they had what looked like a very intimate conversation. "Yeah." I sighed. "We've already had a nice little talk about that." James gave me an inquisitive look. I just shrugged.

"There aren't exactly quite as many divorce lawyers around as there used to be." He quipped.

"I can't argue with that." I'd conceded when a shadow fell over me. I turned to find Rick standing behind me.

"Sorry if I…" He started.

"No. You didn't." I interrupted him. "I'm just…"

"Awkward? Unpolished? Graceless?" James offered.

"Innocent." Rick decided. I was blushing thoroughly again.

"Why don't you go in and get some water, angel? You look overheated." James patted my shoulder. "I'm sure everyone will be okay without your supervision."

"Right." I muttered.

"Mind if I join you?" Rick asked. "I would really like a juice box myself."

I smiled at him and took his hand. "Sure, come on." I led him back into the kitchen and left him there while I dug a pack of juice boxes out of the pantry.

"Why, thank you ma'am." He drawled.

"My pleasure." I replied with a curtsy.

He chuckled. "So where are those old guns you were so excited about earlier?"

"Oh!" I said, having forgotten them completely in the presence of both Rick and juice boxes. "They are in here." I led the way through the Rooster's base of operations to our practice sparring room. Thick foam padding covered the floors and there were countless racks of different ranged and melee arms from over the ages hanging from the walls; the walls were also plastered with posters of me wielding different weapons in corresponding cosplay outfits.

Rick's eyes went wide at the sight, honing in on an ad of me in cow girl boots, a buckskin skirt and sheriff's vest holding an 1851 colt revolver in one hand and tipping my hat with the other.

"I did all the promotions for the shop." I said proudly.

"So other people have seen these?" He asked in dismay, not taking his eyes off of the poster.

"Yeah. They sold a lot of guns." I looked at him and frowned. "Don't you like them?"

"I do." He acknowledged. "I just don't like the idea of other men looking at them."

A charge of pleasure shot through me at his possessive comment. "Well, I'm pretty sure there aren't a lot of men out there still interested in that kind of flesh anymore." I assured him.

"I guess I've got that on my side then." He grinned. "This is the kind of thing I'd want to keep all to myself." He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled my close, cupping my face in his other hand. I twined my arms around his neck, wanting to touch him with every inch of my body. He brushed his lips softly down my neck, I moaned and he clutched me tighter.

"I'm so sorry!" Songbird called out, snapping both of us back into reality. She and Daryl were standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"What the fuck, Songbird?" I hissed exasperatedly, scowling hard at my friend, hoping she would get the hint and just leave.

"I was looking for you. If I'd known you were doing this, I wouldn't have looked for you." Songbird rambled as she defended herself.

I realized that she wasn't going to just leave so I grudgingly straightened myself up, Rick kept his arm around my waist; maybe he was still holding out some hope that they would somehow disappear. I guess he didn't know Songbird like I did.

"So, uh…" Daryl was looking everywhere but directly at us, letting himself look at the flyers instead. "These posters…"

"What about them?" Rick asked, his grip on my waist tightening as he glared at Daryl.

"They're, uh…"Daryl fumbled. "They're interesting."

"Interesting how?" Songbird asked, taking a step away from him and crossing her arms in classic mad girlfriend stance.

I didn't see why everyone was making a big deal about the posters. They had been fun to make and they had made some money for the shop; these people were acting like they had come from a Hustler magazine or something. I looked at the picture they were focused on now, one of me throwing a tomahawk in traditional Native American garb. Hmm, maybe I was showing a little too much skin in that one, but it was what Indian women wore, except for the headdress, I just thought that part was cute.

Daryl was still muttering justifications for his earlier comment. "Well, just…because she doesn't seem like… you know, because she's kind of innocent. So it makes it more…uh," Did these pictures make me look… not innocent? "Nevermind. I'll just look at the floor if it makes you feel better."

I was about to defend myself and tell Daryl where he could shove it when James and Glenn came through the door.

"Wow! Lucky, that's really hot!" Glenn exclaimed, stepping closer to one where I was wearing a kimono and brandishing a katana.

I shut my mouth and kind of hung my head, on the verge of face palming when Rick said. "She ought to be wearing more clothes." I could tell the comment was directed at James, who just shrugged.

"Meh." Songbird asserted. "I've worn tinier outfits to work."

I let out a sigh of relief as everyone's focus was directed away from me.

"What did you do?" Glenn asked eagerly, obviously feeling he had hit the jackpot in the loose girls department. I started to blush as I realized how the pictures must look to these people, feeling like an idiot for never seeing it before.

Songbird just checked herself out of the conversation at that point, simply walking away to look at a rack of 17th century guns. I eagerly joined her, not wanting to find myself in the spotlight again. "I see you like pirate weapons." I teased. "What does that say about you?"

"Really?" She smiled at me as I stepped in beside her. "I thought pirates had cannons and swords."

"They did." I told her. "But they had these too." I reached out and ran my fingers along the widening barrel. "It's called a blunderbuss, by the way."

"Cool." She said, her interest waning.

"She has a picture with the blunderbuss." James told the group; I could tell he was just picking on Rick, his smiling eyes teasing the poor man. "She's in a pirate outfit." He pointed it out and Glenn started to walk over to get a better look, but Rick snatched it off of the wall before he had a chance.

"Those are art." James protested as Rick began to carefully remove the rest of the posters, but I could see that he was enjoying the show

"Yeah." Glenn whined. "Great art."

"Well," Rick stated with a look at me that made me wish everyone else would just disappear. "They're my art now."

James was looking from me to Rick and back again with a bemused expression on his face. I was sure he would have some snarky comment for me later about how it took world destruction for me to find a man I deemed 'worthy'. He sighed, "It's about lunchtime." He said with a glance at his watch. "Why don't you go up and get your brother and your da so we can eat?"

"I'll just relieve them." I said, not wanting to be there for any of the jokes I was sure would be told about me around the table.

"You're supposed to take someone with you." James reminded me.

"I'll go." Rick offered.

I was about to agree, eagerly in fact, when James pointed at Dale who had just wandered in. "Or you could go." James was so mean to me.

"Sure!" Dale agreed with a friendly smile. "I'm ready to pull my weight around here."

I smiled back and we left the room. I led the way up the wood and clay spiral steps to the top of the tower. I could hear Dale's sharp intake of breath at the panoramic view of the whole compound. The guard station was completely open under the conical roof, with only a few stone supports to get in the way; you could see the full extent of the property, from the tiny cabin which seemed so obscure from the road to the lush gardens and the rolling planes dotted with grazing animals.

Daddy greeted us, giving Dale a firm handshake. "Is it that time already?" He asked.

"It's lunchtime." I answered. "I'd rather just take over now than have to stay up all night." I winked at Dale; sure he would appreciate missing out on all night guard duty as well.

"I'm sure you would." Freddy said. "Just leave the crap job to me then."

"It always seemed to work for me in the past, why stop now just because the world's ended?" I poked him in the ribs.

"I guess we'll leave you to it then." Daddy said, giving me a kiss on the top of my head before heading down the stairs.

"Hey Freddy, can you bring us some food?" I begged, flashing him my best sad puppy look. He sighed, but nodded as he followed our dad.

"So, this is the tower." I held my arms out as if it were some grand thing to be showing off. "It's about three stories high and comes with this convenient alarm system, "I pointed to a series of different colored buttons on the wall by the stairs. "The blue is if there is a natural occurrence, like as storm or wild animal; the yellow is if there is a minor insurgence, we'll say that is one or two walkers on the properties perimeter; the red one is used in the event of a major insurgence."

He took a minute to think that through, and then nodded. "So," He started, I perked up ready to talk about watch duty procedure. "You and Rick, huh?" I deflated a little; this was going to be an awkward eight hours.

End of Part Five


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up with a start from dreams of being on the road again; every day step we took in the farm's direction put it that far away from us again. I began running, going nowhere; running in place until swarms of the undead overwhelmed me. I could feel chunks of flesh being torn from my body, but I kept fighting, crawling towards home. I shot out of bed, grabbing a knife from my bedside table and crouching in a defensive stance as I eyed my surroundings suspiciously. I sank to the floor as I realized where I was and that I was safe; for the moment.

My muscles were achy and tense; probably from thrashing in my sleep. I would need to apologize to Songbird, I'm sure I woke her up with my antics. Meh, maybe not… an eye for an eye, as they say. I decided a quick session in the practice room would put my mind and my body at ease; I threw on some close fitting workout pants and a tank top and made my way down the hall.

I set up a dummy in the middle of the sparring floor and began to pummel it with my bare fists, knocking it over and catching it before it hit the floor, kicking it down and then back up again. I stopped for a moment, this really wasn't helping; no matter how hard I hit that blasted dummy I had nothing to show for it but a set of bruised knuckles. I paced along the walls until I found something I thought would cause sufficient damage; pulling down a set of katars, affixing my fists over the H-shaped handles. I circled the dummy again, giving it a direct punch to the neck. A determined twist of my wrist popped the head completely off its body; much more satisfying.

I continued to bash my armored fists into the hapless mannequin, filling it with holes and leaving the floor covered in its foam 'entrails', until Songbird came into the room; to ask about _clothes_, of all things. I let myself be distracted, putting the katars away and allowing her to raid my closet; she took a couple of the least practical dresses I owned and gushed about how James was going to teach her to alter them.

I started walking back to the kitchen. "I'm going to get something to eat before my watch shift starts."

"Oh!" Songbird said really excitedly. "I made brownies."

Of course she did. "For breakfast?" I knew how she was in the kitchen and didn't know if her brownies were safe for human consumption.

"James helped." She added in a disappointed tone.

That did make it better. "Oh, okay. I'll try them then."

I decided to clean up in the practice room before grabbing something to eat; there was going to be enough trouble for me after destroying one of the Rooster's dummies without him lecturing me on how childish leaving a mess like that was. I was just about done when Shane walked in.

"I guess it's you and me today." He drawled.

"Is it?" I hadn't looked at the schedule today. "A little awkward, don't you think?"

"It doesn't have to be." He shrugged. "There's no reason we can't be friends."

"I don't know." I was pretty sure there was a bro-code that dictated we couldn't. Rule number one was don't sleep with your bro's woman; I thought rule two probably said something along the lines of all bro's who sleep with a bro's woman shall be shunned. "I doubt Rick would like that idea. He doesn't really seem to like the idea of you at all lately."

"I can't fault him for that." He had the decency to look ashamed. "We don't have to hate each other, at least." He held out his hand.

I didn't take it. "I don't know you well enough to hate you, Shane." I left him standing there and grabbed a couple of brownies and a cooler of water before heading up to the tower.

After giving Shane the basic information of our watch protocol, we sat in awkward silence for a while. He was the one to break through the quiet. "This is a lot of land for a couple of guys who sold guns for a living."

"James was a doctor." I shrugged. "I think his family left him some money too, but I never really asked about it."

"Huh." Was all he said for a while. Then, after having thought about it, "So, is he crazy like the other one?"

"Daddy isn't crazy!" I protested.

"Well, he had a place like this; that kind of behavior would have been classified as at least a little crazy." He said with a chuckle.

"Maybe, but he was right." I told him. "What people would have called crazy before just kind of turned out to be good judgment on his part."

"I suppose there's no denying that." He conceded. "You think anyone else out there, uh, had good judgment?"

"I know that you weren't the first group we met." I said with a slight shudder. "I am sure there are lots of people surviving in their own ways."

"So why didn't you stick with that first group?" He asked. "Or did they not make it."

"Let's just say that they didn't end up as zombies." I stated darkly.

Shane's eyes went wide. "You killed them?"

"Freddy killed them." I said.

"So, is this whole crazy thing genetic?" He asked, earning a glare from me. "Just saying, Rick oughta know if it is."

"Being a cop and all, I am sure you know what flunitrazepam is. I'll just tell you that it still happens to be around and let you put the pieces together." I whispered, unable to say the actual words out loud.

"Damn." He breathed.

"Yeah." I leaned against one of the stone supports, looking out at the river. "The only kind of insanity that runs in my family is the temporary kind, brought on by…" I shook my head, determined to think of anything else.

"I think I got the idea." Shane said softly. "I'm sorry I said…"

"Don't worry about it." I waved his apology away. "I know how it looks, but the fact is he was right. We'll just leave it at that."

The rest of our watch duty went by without much meaningful conversation. My mind kept wandering into the past. When Freddy and Andrea relieved us, I made a bee-line to my room; it seemed conjuring up old memories had really taken it out of me. I just curled up in a ball on my bed and practiced breathing until I fell asleep.

When I woke up my watch said it was 4:07; AM? My stomach growled at me, yeah, there was no way I'd get back to sleep with an empty belly. I guess I was going to make wandering into the kitchen in the middle of the night a habit, hopefully meeting Rick there would be part of the deal. Nah, lightning didn't like me enough to strike me twice like that.

I grabbed a juice box from the fridge and made a sandwich from some leftovers. As I was putting what I didn't need back into the refrigerator, I noticed we were running low on a few things, so I went down to the pantry to get some more. I ended up doing a full inventory of our food supplies. Things didn't look good, a group this size eating the way we have been could easily go through our entire stock in a little over two months; of course, that would be after only being left with pickles for the last half of the second month. I would need to bring this up soon.

I was sitting there, scribbling numbers on my notepad when the pantry door opened. James stood there at the top of the stairs looking slightly worried about me. "What on earth are you doing down here, angel?"

"Realizing that we are going to have to ration out our food from now on." I said, trying to get up and failing because both of my feet had fallen asleep.

"We had been thinking the same thing." Daddy agreed as he stepped in beside James. "We've been a bit easy with the food on the account of our celebrating you and Freddy coming home safe, but you're right." He rubbed his chin. "I guess the sooner we start the better. We'll let everyone know at breakfast."

Everyone understood, of course, but it didn't stop them from looking sullenly at their one egg and tiny cup of milk. I couldn't blame them; I had been missing home cooked meals as much as anybody while we were on the road, but I just wasn't all that hungry and kept pushing my egg around the plate without ever actually taking a bite.

"You okay?" Rick asked softly. I looked up to see that everyone else had finished their 'meal' and were looking at my plate hungrily.

"I, uh, I didn't really sleep well last night." I said, pushing my plate towards him. "You want it?"

"I do!" Songbird exclaimed, grabbing the plate before Rick had a chance to answer.

"I guess that would be my fault. Sorry about that, Lucky." Shane said, sounding sincere.

"What would _you_ have to be sorry about?" Rick asked scathingly.

"Yeah, what _would you _have to be sorry about, Shane?" Lori seemed more surprised than anything else.

"I might have brought back some, uh, unpleasant memories during our conversation while we were keeping watch yesterday." Shane admitted.

"It isn't really your fault, I think that I've only just now had a chance to slow down and think about it." I answered, looking down at my glass of milk so I wouldn't have to see everyone staring at me. "I should get up to the tower." I got up to leave.

"I'll take your watch; you go get some more rest." Daddy said, getting up himself to put his plate in the sink. "We'll talk about this when you're feeling better." He gave me a quick kiss on the top of my head. I could tell he was worried about me; I usually never lost sleep, not to stress. I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but I knew it came off weak.

"Thanks, Daddy." I hugged him in return. He and Lori left for their watch duty shift and I found Rick standing at my side.

"Got any plans for your day off?" He asked me; little wrinkles of worry lined his eyes.

"I don't know, kinda thought I might pay off some of my sleep debt." I said, thinking about it. "But I doubt that's going to happen. It's been a while since I took in a movie." I smiled up at him. "Care to join me?"

"Are you asking me on a date, Lucy Mackensie?" He drawled, slipping his arm around my waist.

"I do believe I am." I told him as he brushed a strand of hair from my face.

"I wanna watch a movie!" Carl said excitedly, pushing away the glass of milk he had been blowing bubbles into. "Can I come too?"

Rick hedged a look at me; I just smiled at the boy. "Of course! Sofia can come too, I'll even let you two pick out the movie."

Carl looked like we'd just told him it was Christmas; he and Sofia jumped up from the table and ran to my game room to pick out something to watch.

"That was awfully nice of you." Carol said, collecting the children's plates to wash them.

"Meh." I shrugged. "Everybody needs a break from reality, even the kids…and especially their parents." Carol gave me a grateful smile, shooing us away as she began scrubbing the dishes.

"It _was_ nice." Rick said as we walked down the hall.

"It's okay right?" I asked him. "I mean, it isn't really a date anymore." I could feel the disappointment on my face then kicked myself for thinking so selfishly.

He just laughed at me. "Says who?" I grinned at that and he took my hand in his.

The kids had picked out "Up" by the time we got to the game room. I made sure the generator was full and put the movie in. The kids sat in the very front row, giggling and pointing things out to each other as the trailers started playing. Rick had seated himself in the center of the last row; I sat beside him, nestling into him as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

I woke up to see the credits scrolling up the screen. The kids were gone, probably got bored or something. "Well, maybe I needed the sleep more than I thought." I sighed. I looked up at Rick who was smiling down at me. "What?" I asked, mortified that I may have started talking in my sleep.

"It was just nice to see you looking so peaceful." He said. "Especially when you looked so stressed out this morning." His smile faded. "What did Shane say to you yesterday?"

"He didn't say anything." I shook my head. "Well, he did, but…"

"What did he say, Lucy?" He demanded again with an edge to his voice, making me want to tell him all of my secrets.

"He called my family crazy." I shrugged. "Nothing serious." I hedged.

"Nothing serious kept you from sleeping last night?" He asked meaningfully.

"We were talking about other survivors," I acknowledged. "Not everyone out there is as, um, wholesome as your group. Freddy and I met up with a group of guys a few days after leaving San Antonio. We knew better than to trust them; they had that feel to them, you know. Sketchy."

I looked down at my hands, ashamed of the whole ordeal. "We never ate their food or slept near them; we just kind of thought there would be safety in numbers. One of them must have slipped something into my water bottle when I wasn't looking, I never even noticed anything; I just woke up to find their bodies everywhere and Freddy covered in blood and bruises."

I could feel the tears dripping down my nose, but everything else seemed to have faded somehow. "He had found them on me; they had dragged me off away from him. Thank God he didn't get killed! It would have been all my fault for being so stupid!"

I was suddenly aware of him kissing my hair. "No, baby." He was murmuring. "Don't blame yourself." His arms were all around me, holding my shaking body as the sobs escaped. "It wasn't your fault." We stayed like that for what seemed like hours until the only sounds were my tired ragged breaths.

I held my body closer to his, wishing I could be enveloped in the warmth radiating from him. "Thank you." I whispered.

He squeezed me tighter. "For what?"

"This."

"I wish I could have been there to protect you," The edge was back in his voice. "To have torn those bastards apart myself." I just nuzzled my face into his neck, unable to get close enough to him. He cleared his throat. "Remind me to tell Freddy how great he is next time I see him, will you?"

I finally pulled away from him to flash him a smile. "Of course, poor guy needs all the encouragement he can get."

He gave me a small chuckle. "Sure. I think you're pretty great too, you know."

"I had a feeling you thought so, Mr. Grimes." I leaned in to give him a peck on the cheek, but his hand caught to the nape of my neck as his lips covered mine. I moaned into his mouth as my eyes slid closed. His grip on me tightened for the tiniest moment but his kisses stayed soft, lingering only briefly before he pulled away.

I wanted to protest; I had never felt as whole as I had in that moment, with him wrapped around me, holding me and keeping me safe. He brushed kisses over my hair again, "I swear nothing like that will ever happen to you again." He squeezed me again. "Not as long as I breathe."

I looked up at him. "I know." He kissed me again; harder and longer this time, but still ending it far sooner than I would have liked.

He cleared his throat again, shifting me so that I wasn't sitting on him anymore. "We should, uh, probably see where the kids ran off to." He put a little more space between us, fidgeting in his seat. "I bet it's lunchtime, and you didn't eat breakfast so…"

"Are you okay, Rick?" I asked him, confused. "Did I do something wrong?"

He cupped my face in his hands. "No, you didn't do a single thing wrong." Did he look embarrassed? "I just…what I want…uh, maybe not the best time for…" His face was fading to a bright shade of red.

It was the first time I had seen him so flustered, I couldn't help but laugh. "It's alright, Rick." I gave him a quick kiss on his nose. "I understand. You're a gentleman. I love that about you."

"Do you, now?" He smiled and stood up, holding his hand out to help me up. I nodded as I took it, letting him lead me to the kitchen.

Lunch was a simple salad, making the men kind of pout down at their plates. I had gained my appetite back and devoured mine all too soon. I ended up pitifully watching the others as they pushed their vegetables listlessly around on their plates. I guessed this was how Songbird felt all the time; at least I was sure it was how she looked all the time.

I watched as everyone started leaving the table; the sense of celebration had certainly deteriorated since we started rationing meals this morning. Soon the only people still sitting were me and James. He was looking at me expectantly, obviously waiting for me to say something.

"So, I think I ought to go hunting." The words popped out of my mouth almost before I could think about them.

"Your da isn't going to like that." He said, still looking at me. Still waiting.

"I know. But we need to stock our freezers as full as we can get them while we can." I picked my plate up and took it to the sink. "There aren't a lot of those things around right now and it is deer season, I could probably bring something back tonight if I'm lucky."

"And you are Lucky." He smiled apologetically. "Sorry. It's been a while since I've had a chance to do that."

I rolled my eyes. "Do you think I should sneak out or…"

"No, that would just get everyone riled up. Just think of what that nice police officer of yours would do if you just went missing." He said melodramatically as he shook his head. "Why don't you take someone with you?"

"Because, they would just slow me down." I offered.

"Or save your life. What about Songbird?" He countered.

I thought about it, she was pretty quiet and quick on her feet, if she could just keep her mouth shut and stay focused. "Maybe." I conceded.

"Maybe what?" Rick asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Hmm, should we have chili for supper?" James asked himself, taking his leave and wandering into the pantry.

"Maybe I'll take Songbird when I go hunting tonight." I answered, ignoring James.

"When you do _what_ tonight?" He sounded surprised and a little angry.

"We need more food, Rick." I told him, leaning against the counter. "And I for one am in the mood for venison."

"I don't think… I'd rather…" He seemed to be trying to formulate an argument in his head and failing. "You can't go with just Songbird," was all he came up with.

"Why not?" I asked, trying to keep from smiling. "I've been hunting on my own before, and the walkers haven't really made their way over here yet."

"Why not?" He repeated incredulously. "Give me one good reason for me to let you out of my sight."

"I already did. Venison." I knew I was getting nowhere with him, so I tried to work my underdeveloped womanly wiles on him, wrapping my arms around his neck and looking directly into his eyes. "Besides, they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"I'm fond enough of you without you running out and trying to get yourself killed." He murmured, placing his hands on my waist. Damn him, he was going to beat me at my own game.

I inwardly shook myself; I had only one more big gun in my arsenal and it looked like it was time to pull it out. "Please?" I crooned.

He looked sincerely taken aback; I could tell that he was arguing with himself… and losing. "You can't go with just Songbird."

"So, do you want to go?" I asked, twirling my fingers through his hair.

He smiled down at me. "Do you want me to?"

"Only if you can promise not to scare all the deer away." I winked at him.

"I can promise I won't do it on purpose." He leaned down and kissed me; I held him there, parting his lips with my own.

He grabbed my ass and pulled me into him, making me moan against him. I dragged my nails down his back and reveled in my victory as he shuddered against me, letting me feel just how much he enjoyed it. His hands felt like they were everywhere at once; tangled in my hair, brushing against my skin under my shirt, tugging down on the waistband of my pants. My hips thrust against the growing bulge in his pants and he picked me up to set me on the counter. I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer so that I could feel his hardness against me again.

"Ahem." The sound of my father clearing his throat nearly sent me reeling off of the counter.

Rick took an awkward step away from me. "S-sir!" He stuttered.

"We were… we were just…" I began.

"I could see what you were doing just fine." The Rooster stated flatly. "What I can't see is why you thought it would be appropriate to do it on the kitchen counter where anyone could see it."

"I, uh, I guess we weren't really thinking." I mumbled.

"I guess not." He turned to Rick. "I think we need to talk, my friend." He said before turning around and walking out of the room.

"That doesn't sound good." I said softly.

"Should I be afraid?" He asked.

"I'm not sure." I told him honestly. "He usually only gets all quiet when he's really really mad." I looked over at Rick who was still trying to get his breathing under control. "Just, uh, be polite. And punctual. He hates it when people make him wait."

"Well then, I guess I should get going." He straightened his clothes and followed my dad out the door.

I sighed and hopped down from the countertop; that did not go as I had planned at all. I was still lightheaded and wobbly; I had to take a few breaths before I could walk again, and even then I almost ran into the door frame. I wandered into the practice room to find T-Dog was trying to throw knives at a couple of targets in the corner, but he was kind of distracted by Songbird doing a split stretch in the middle of the room.

"Anybody up for a hunting trip?" I asked, hoping that Daddy would be finished doing… whatever it is dads do to guys who want to date their daughters in time for us to go hunting.

"Ooh!" Songbird raised her hand eagerly, as if she were a seven year old kid vying for her teacher's attention.

"I take it that means yes." I laughed and shook my head.

"Let me just go get my knives." She left hurriedly, probably afraid that I would leave her here.

A moment later, Glenn walked in with a pensive smile on his face. "So, hunting huh? Uh, Songbird said I could come along, if that's ok I mean."

"Sure." Well, James had wanted me to take people with me. "Let's go find Rick so we can be ready to go when Songbird comes back."

Glenn followed me down the hall until we got to the Rooster and James' room; I knocked… no answer, so I tried the handle. It was unlocked so I hoped it would be okay for me to poke my head in. "Hey Daddy, we're about to leave to go hunting; are you done with Rick yet?"

Daddy and Rick were seated across from each other on the plush sofas in the tiny sitting area that James had insisted on during their last redecorating session, he shook his head slowly as Rick turned to look at me with an expression that obviously meant "Help me please!"

"I think we'll be talking for a while, honey. Why don't you go on along without him?" Daddy said in that low even tone that I could never argue with.

"But…" I started.

"Now, honey." He told me with finality. I shot Rick an apologetic look, he tried to smile back at me; he was a brave brave man.

I backed out of the room and jumped when I found Shane standing behind me. "What the fuck man?"

"Sorry." He laughed. "What's Rick doing in there with your dad?"

"Not hunting." I sighed; I was really looking forward to being out in the woods in the dark with him.

"Oh, you're going out hunting tonight?" He asked.

"I was planning on it." I said, not quite knowing where he was going with this line of questioning.

"And you need someone else to go with you?" He prodded.

"No thanks." I said, turning to walk away.

"Aww, come on. I thought we decided we didn't hate each other." He stepped in front of me.

"I said I hadn't decided yet." I tried to walk around him.

"We could use someone with a car, right?" Glenn offered.

"You think Lori is going to be okay with you going out with us?" I asked.

"What she don't know won't hurt her." He smirked.

"If you say so, but this was_ not _my idea." I conceded with a shrug.

Songbird came in at that point. "Shane is going too." I told her.

"How did that happen?" She looked really disappointed.

"He volunteered his Jeep. I can't carry a deer on the back of my bike and you and Glenn don't have cars." I explained.

"Dang." She was all she said.

"Well, y'all ready?" Shane asked, obviously a little sad over our reaction to him.

"Yeah." Glenn answered a little too quickly.

I pointed the way to my usual hunting grounds, if we were going to find anything, it would probably be here. "Alright! Let's get some venison!" I said cheerfully as we gathered our gear.

It took us a couple of hours before we came across any signs of deer in the area, but after seeing some fresh scrapings on a large white oak, we split into pairs hoping to catch the buck between us and not scare it off. I had just spotted a line of tracks when Songbird tapped my arm. I looked to the right and spotted the yearling, he was pawing at a patch of dirt not thirty feet away. I nocked my arrow and aimed for its eye. I almost jumped for joy when the young buck fell to the ground; Songbird punched me in the arm, I couldn't help but smile back at her.

"Good one!" Songbird whispered. I shushed her, noticing a second pair of tracks leading a little to the left. I saw the doe behind a cedar, she was poised to bolt; I let an arrow fly without sighting it, landing a hit in her ribs. She stumbled but kept running. Dang it! I would have to go get that arrow back now.

"We killed, you carry." I told the men as they approached us before walking off to pull my arrow from the fallen buck. I pulled out my night vision binoculars and searched in the direction the doe ran. She had left tracks of blood on the trees, I figured they were about three feet up the trunk. A heart shot? Maybe a lung? Either way, she wasn't going to get very far.

"Do you see it?" Songbird asked.

"All I can see right now is her blood trail." I answered, taking a swig of water.

"Her?" Songbird's voice went up an octave. "You shot a girl?"

"No, I shot a deer." I said exasperatedly. Really? I thought she knew what hunting entailed. Not that I didn't feel bad for the doe, but there was nothing I could do about the bad shot now except to find the deer and finish it off.

"Well, _she_ is hurting somewhere! We have to find her!" She whined.

"Did you think I was going to just leave her to die like that?" I snapped back. "Of course I am going to put her out of her misery, but you have to remember that we came out here to hunt. That means that something is going to get shot."

"I just don't want it to be in pain." She said emphatically.

I rolled my eyes. "I would have killed her on the first shot if I could. I don't recall you doing anything about it." I left her standing there as I began following the doe's trail. The last thing I needed right now was to be reminded of the fact that we have to kill things to eat them, in fact, I wasn't the one complaining about salads earlier.

There were only smeared droplets to go on, but I tracked her down to a ravine about 200 yards away where she had fallen down into the brush at the bottom and wasn't able to get back onto her feet again. I aimed carefully, hoping the doe's jerky motions wouldn't throw my shot, and shot her in the back of the neck. She dropped instantly, jerking once or twice more before laying still. I climbed down into the ravine and pulled my arrow out of her neck, but found the one I had hit her ribs with had broken.

I had just dropped the broken shaft on the ground when I heard the rustling to my left. I positioned my bow and took a couple of steps back. The walker came staggering out at me from behind a shrub; I let my arrow loose, but only hit it in the neck and it stopped for only a second before it lurched forward with even more momentum. I heard the gunshot before I realized that Shane was standing over me at the top of the ravine.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I think so." I checked the area with my binoculars and didn't see any overt signs of more walkers, but that didn't mean they weren't there. "Can you help me with this doe? I want to get back to the jeep as soon as possible."

We had just made it to the top of the ravine when Songbird and Glenn arrived, as out of breath as we were. Shane shushed them as they started asking what had happened. "Quiet! We don't want to draw any more of them to us than we have to." He whispered.

We were making our way back to the jeep with me and Songbird carrying the doe between us and Shane and Glenn hauling the buck. We had just packed them into the back of the jeep when we heard the shuffling of feet behind us. I noted that Songbird had pulled out her knives and Shane and Glenn had cocked their guns; I motioned for the guys to put their guns down before nocking my arrow, the last thing I wanted was for more of them to find us here. I took in a steadying breath as the walker stumbled out of the trees, even in the darkness I could see that half of its face was missing and the one arm it had left was a gnarled stub waving at us as it shambled our way; I let my arrow fly and hit it in its open eye socket. Songbird had chucked a knife at it that landed the other eye; it fell on its face with a sickeningly wet sound as the arrow pushed through the back of its decomposing skull.

"Hey! That was pretty cool!" Songbird exclaimed. I guess she had forgiven me for the doe incident.

"Indeed," was all I had time to say before a new rustling sound came out of the brush in the direction the walker had come from.

We all tensed; I pulled another arrow out of my quiver and was about to position it on my bow when a dog, a massive dog, barreled out of the undergrowth. It skidded to a stop, almost like a cartoon character, and sat back on its haunches, staring at us with no discernable emotion. Shane was shouldering his gun when Songbird called out "Wait! That is a Rhodesian Ridgeback!"

"A what?" Shane asked with a mixture of disbelief and frustration. 

Songbird explained everything she knew about the dog, moving down to the dog's level as she held her hand out in a non-aggressive gesture. Shane had brought his gun down, but was still wary of the beast.

"Are you crazy?" He attempted to go after her.

I pulled him back, obviously Shane had never encountered a stray dog during his years as a small town cop. "If you go running up there, you'll scare it and it will hurt her!" I told him. "Just keep it in your sights and see what happens."

Songbird was speaking softly to the dog; I could tell she was making progress as it leaned in to sniff her outstretched hand. She quietly coaxed the dog into following her a few steps before pensively grabbing on to its collar. I let out a breath I hadn't noticed I had been holding in when it didn't bite her; who knows where this giant beast had been hiding all this time, it could have any number of diseases.

"Come on," she ordered. I giggled as the dog started to canter, pulling a hapless Songbird behind it. She finally got it to stop, and turned around to smile at us; I sighed, she was already head over heels for that monstrosity. "Can I keep it?" I thought for a second and remembered how Freddy was "allergic" to dogs; a vision of the dog running headlong towards a screaming Freddy popped into my head, it was all I could do to nod between peals of laughter.

"What's so funny?" Songbird asked with a befuddled look.

"Oh nothing." I said between giggles and attempts to breathe. "I'm just thinking about Freddy. He'll be…" A close up of what his face was going to look like caused me to double over again. "Positively speechless!"

"So," Glenn said, positioning himself as far away from the dog as possible. "What are you going to name him?"

"Michelangelo," Songbird told him matter-of-factly.

"The painter or the turtle?" I asked, fondly remembering the cartoons I enjoyed as a child.

"Turtle," she answered with a smile.

"I don't know," Glenn said doubtfully. "Looks more like Shredder to me."

"But then people would be scared of him," Songbird said. "I don't want that."

I burst into a fit of giggles again, that picture of Freddy in my head would never get old.


	7. Chapter 7

When we finally pulled back up to the farm, the sun was nearly halfway over the horizon. I felt as exhausted as everyone else looked. As soon as the jeep came to a complete stop, Michelangelo jumped out through the back, dragging Songbird along with him.

"No!" She screamed as she hit her head against the roll bar. "Ow!"

The sight of her sitting there holding on to the tether as if she were reeling in a fish was too much, I burst out laughing. Having a dog was turning out to be everything I could have hoped for. She seemed to be getting a handle on things when Daryl stepped into view lighting a cigarette ; Songbird had only just stood up when the lighter clicked and the dog suddenly cantered off in the direction of the sound.

"Stop! Heel! Stay?" Songbird tried fruitlessly to put a break on the running beast.

"Sit!" Daryl said, looks of alarm flipped from the animal rampaging towards him and the poor child being dragged behind it.

It sat. Not only did it sit, it sat and stared adoringly up at the raggedy redneck. Huh. I guess Songbird and Michelangelo had more in common than meets the eye. I shook my head as I turned to help the guys unload the deer.

"Where do you want these?" Shane asked as we laid the doe on the ground.

"I usually clean my stuff over by the pond and throw the leftovers in for the catfish to eat." I responded, making Glenn turn a bit green.

Shane just laughed at him. "Aww, come on, city boy! It's all part of the circle of life."

I patted Glenn on the shoulder; I guess some people would rather just believe their meat comes already prepackaged. I wanted to give him an encouraging word but Songbird's voice rang out. "Exactly!" I glanced at her and she was clapping for joy and pointing at Daryl. "See, he gets it!"

Glenn tried to take that opportunity to escape. "I'm going inside." He muttered.

"Not so fast!" I caught him by the sleeve of his jacket. "We've got deer to gut."

"You're going to make me cut that thing apart?" Glenn asked, turning a couple of shades greener.

"It's not so bad," Songbird said sympathetically. "I'd help, but I've got to find somewhere for Michelangelo to sleep…" We all watched as she lost control of her gigantic new pet again. Daryl shook his head as he gave her instructions on how to calm Michelangelo down while he held on to her arms so she wouldn't get dragged off. The dog steadfastly refused to listen to anything Songbird said, but immediately sat the moment Daryl gave him the order.

She reluctantly gave control of the beast to him and I decided to go along and chaperone, hoping none of our livestock would be attacked.

"I'll come too," I told them, "and show you where you can put him. I'll be right back to help with the deer, Glenn."

"Take your time," he said with a sigh of relief.

I led the way towards the barn, where I was sure we had something that would do as a dog house for now, wincing as Michelangelo salivated in the direction of our chicken coop. I prayed this wasn't going to end up being a mistake.

"Hey Freddy! Look!" Songbird interrupted my reverie.

Ah, here comes the payoff now! Freddy was just coming over the hill from the direction of the garden, smiling at Songbird as he returned the greeting. "Hey Songbird, what are you…" He caught sight of the dog, which seemed to go insane with enthusiasm at the sight of him. "Oh my God!"

Freddy screamed. It was a high-pitched soprano scream that exceeded even my expectations of him; I could feel the satisfaction lighting up my face as his contorted into pure horror.

Michelangelo couldn't stand it, he wiggled free of Daryl's grasp, although I doubt he was holding on all that hard once he saw how terrified Freddy was. The dog cantered straight for my brother who had been backing away, but now stood frozen in fear. "Oh my God!" He yelled again.

I doubled over, barely able to breathe as my brother let out another feminine cry when Michelangelo reached him and began showering him with wet doggy kisses. I was probably the worst sister left in the world for enjoying this, but I had always wanted a dog and was never allowed to have one because Freddy was 'allergic'; not that he had ever shown any signs of an allergic reaction when he did come into contact with a canine, the only 'reactions' he had were whimpering like the girl he was until someone removed it from his presence.

I could faintly hear Songbird begging Daryl and me for help, but we were both incapacitated by laughter. I took in a few deep breaths and pulled myself upright, reminding myself that this was a show worth watching; but by that time, Freddy had stopped screaming, and had started hyperventilating.

"I'm so sorry!" Songbird exclaimed. "I didn't know you were scared of dogs…"

"I'm not scared!" Freddy said between gasps of air. "I am…I am allergic. Deathly allergic. I might die!"

Songbird looked genuinely shocked and concerned, giving me a horrified look."Lucky, why didn't you say something?"

"Because Fred is not allergic to dogs," I told them with a shrug, "He's just a pussy. I mean a cat person."

That got a snicker from Daryl, we both just shrugged again when Songbird gave us the evil eye.

"Maybe you should go lie down," she suggested. "And take something for your allergy."

"I will," Freddy was milking this for all it was worth. "I should. I could die."

"Yeah, I'm sure it's hard to breathe with all the screaming," I smirked.

"I'm sure you could die," Songbird told him comfortingly. "Maybe get a shower too, that will help with the allergens right?"

"Right," he nodded. "I'll do that."

"You're both terrible people." Songbird hissed at us as Freddy walked past us.

"Anyway…you could put the dog over there," I pointed at the barn. "There's even an old doghouse in the barn somewhere. I'm sure you can rig something, right Daryl?"

"Yeah, sure." He said and I walked away. That was the most fun I'd had in ages.

Cleaning the deer was almost as fun as watching Freddy with dogs, what with Glenn making the most hilarious faces whenever he came across anything non-meat. We had a few coolers full of venison at the end of the morning. Shane asked about fishing in the pond and we made plans to try to catch something later on. I watched him as he ambled back to the house; maybe he wasn't all that bad, but I still had a feeling Rick wouldn't like the idea of us being friends.

I showered; feeling more relaxed than I had in ages. I dressed accordingly, in a short violet bubble skirt with lavender tights and a close fitting lilac sweater, and then gathered my hair in an intricate set of braids that were knotted with ribbons over my ears in cute pigtails. I had just slid on a pair of red heels and stepped into the game room when Daddy walked in from the hallway.

"You look nice." He said, sounding surprised.

"I feel like it's that kind of day." I shrugged.

"Does it?" He asked, sitting in one of the theater seats. "You sure it isn't just because that copper keeps staring after you?"

"He isn't just some cop." I sighed. "And does that even matter anymore?"

"Authority figures want to stay where they are, no matter what happens to the world around them." He said in that preachy voice he got whenever he talked about 'the man'.

I sat beside him and took a good look at him. He looked a little older than I remembered him; the stress of worrying about Freddy and me must have taken more out of him than I realized.

"He is a really good guy who puts others before himself." I said. "If anyone deserves authority, it is that kind of person."

Daddy looked away from me, playing with a string hanging from the armrest of his seat. "I know." He sighed. "I talked to him. He seems like a fine fella, but…" He trailed off.

"But?" I prompted.

"But no one is ever going to be good enough for you; you're my little girl and I don't think I'm ever going to get over that." He said in a rush.

I laid my head on his shoulder. "I know." We sat there in silence for a few minutes. "So, what did you talk about yesterday?"

He laughed. "I just tried to scare him away from you." He shook his head. "But he seems pretty determined. I think you're more than a booty call to this one."

"Daddy!" I slapped him in the arm. "That is… disturbing… don't ever say the words 'booty call' to me again!"

"I'm just saying, he doesn't just want you for, uh, late night pie, if you get me."

I turned beet red. "He's never had my…pie… so I… so there's that." I got up and started walking away, hoping he would get the hint that I didn't want to talk about this anymore.

"Oh, I know." He smiled. "Everyone knows that, thanks to your friend Songbird."

"Right." I muttered. "Well, this has been a nice talk, Daddy, but I think we're done here. Don't you?"

He grinned. "Yep." He got up. "Well, there is one more thing."

"What's that?"

"Keep your pie off my counter." He said as he walked out the door.

"Will do." I said, covering my face in embarrassment.

Once I was sure that my face had regained its normal color, I headed to the kitchen. Carol was seated at the table putting a puzzle together with Sofia. Carl was sitting at the table too, but he had set himself away from them, looking forlorn as he pushed the pieces around.

I grabbed a juice box and pulled up a chair beside him. "What do we have going on here?"

"We found a jungle puzzle!" Sofia said happily continuing on with her work.

"What about you, Carl?" I sifted through the pieces and found a couple that went together. "You don't look like you're having too much fun."

"They don't care about me." Was all he said.

"Who, sweetheart?" I asked, bringing my face down to his level.

"My momma and daddy, they're always fighting and they don't ever talk to me anymore." He told me with a quiver in his voice.

"Oh. That… they still love you…oh honey!" I pulled him into my arms, completely at a loss at what to say. But then, it wasn't my place to say anything was it? "Hang on, you stay right here. I'll go get them and they can tell you just how much you mean to them. Would you like that?"

He nodded sullenly; I gave him another quick hug before I left him there to find Rick and Lori. I found Rick in the hallway as he was coming out of the bathroom. He'd obviously just taken a shower, his hair was dripping and he had a bit of toothpaste on his chin. I reached up and wiped it off with my thumb.

"You can use my bathroom you know… there's never a line and it's bigger than this dinky one." I told him, wiping my hand off on his shirt.

"I'll take you up on that offer, any more benefits I should know about?" He grinned down at me.

The thought of him naked in my shower almost made me forget why I'd sought him out in the first place; he leaned in to kiss me but I pulled away. "Carl needs to talk to you." I said when he looked disappointed.

"Carl?" He asked. "Why didn't he come to me himself?"

"He, uh, he said he felt neglected." I hedged. "Come on, you can talk to him about it, he's in the kitchen."

"If anyone is neglecting him, it's Lo…"

"She is going to be involved too." I cut him off. "He mentioned both of you."

"Oh." Was all he said.

We were walking back to the kitchen when I spotted Lori on the couch with a book. "Hey, Lori, could you, uh, join me in the kitchen for a minute?"

"Why would I need to do that?" She asked acidly.

"Carl wants to talk to us." Rick answered stiffly.

"Look, I know that you two have issues. None of that is my business, but he is in there feeling like you two have forgotten all about him." I said, stepping between them. "You are going to have to work something out." I opened the kitchen door, giving Carl a wink before ushering his parents in. Lori gave me an unfathomable wide eyed expression as she passed me.

Carol and Sofia quietly followed me out, shutting the door behind them. "It's about time that happened." Carol told me before taking Sofia into their room.

A couple of days passed, I didn't see as much of Rick since he was making a real effort to spend more time with his son. He even seemed to be getting along with Lori, and by default, Shane because he was always with Lori.

I took to spending most of my time out in our orchard, lounging in the trees and reading. I had just brought in a basket of apples one day, when Shane stepped in behind me.

"Looks like things are settling back down to how it used to be." He said, grabbing an apple.

"Except now Rick knows that you're screwing his wife." I rolled my eyes.

"It's nice to have it all out in the open, I think." He said between bites. "Clears the air."

"For you. For them, it's probably the worst form of torture just short of feeding them to zombies." I punched him in the arm. "You had to go and make this as hard as possible for everyone."

"Maybe. She always told me she was going to leave him." He pondered the apple in his hand. "Do you think she would have? If all of this hadn't happened?"

"I don't know. I wasn't there, remember?" I said.

"I wish you had been… having you under Rick's nose would have made it a hell of a lot easier for me." He laughed.

"Fuck you, Shane." I punched him again. "I don't break up happy marriages."

"Neither do I, believe me." He said seriously.

We both went quiet when Lori walked into the room. "What are y'all talking about in here?" She asked.

"How much happier Carl looks lately." Shane told her.

"He really does, doesn't he? I feel so bad now, about…" She trailed off with a tentative look at me.

"It happens, things fall apart and it happens." I said, not really knowing why I was comforting her, after all, she was the one who had made Rick so miserable in the first place.

Carl walked in at that point; Lori gave him a smile and asked him if he needed her to get him anything.

"Nope. I want to ask Lucky something." He stated matter-of-factly.

"What is it, buddy?" I asked, tossing him an apple from the counter.

He turned bright red as he looked from Lori to Shane to me and said. "I was wondering, since you're so nice and pretty and everything," oh no, I didn't like where this was heading, "if you wanted to be my girlfriend."

Lori's eyes flew wide open in surprise and Shane had to turn around to hide his laughter. Carl just stood there, smiling expectantly as if I could not possibly turn him down.

"I, uh, you know Carl, I'm actually kind of already somebody's girlfriend." I stuttered, hoping I wouldn't hurt his feelings too much.

"Yeah, I know. My dad likes you a lot, but you can have two boyfriends." He told me, talking slowly as if I were the one who didn't understand.

The shame radiating from Lori was almost tangible, I looked to her for help, but she seemed to be frozen. I guess I would have to handle this on my own. "I don't think I have it in me to have two boyfriends, and since your dad had me first, I'm sorry Carl, but I am going to have to say no."

He looked disappointed, but I think he handled it pretty well. Shane cleared his throat and Lori thawed back out.

"Come on, Carl; let's find your dad so he knows to keep an eye on you while Shane and I are up in the tower." She told him as she steered him out of the room.

I stood there alone for a second; I was planning on actually spending some time with Rick today, but if he was going to be with Carl, no… that would just be uncomfortable for everybody. I finally decided to head back to my game room and relieve some stress on the old XBOX.

I had just started up a new game of Red Dead Redemption when Songbird came in and sat beside me, sulking. I assumed that her watch shift with Daryl didn't go well.

"Lucky, can we talk for a second or two?" she pouted.

"Kay." I mumbled as I maneuvered John Marston out of the way of a charging boar.

"I had watch with Daryl today." She told me despondently. I could see that this conversation was going to be one of those girlie Lifetime moments, and I wanted to be there for Songbird right now, but that damn boar was about to kill me.

"I guess that made you happy." I tried to put a positive spin on things, and John Marston finally shot that boar, so I had reason to be in a good mood. "Ooo! Look at that, right in the head!"

"That's great," Songbird replied with a whimper. "But no, watch with Daryl didn't make me happy."

With that persistent boar dead, I could concentrate on what she was saying. "Why not?" I looked over at her to find tears rolling down her face. "Are you crying?"

"No," Songbird lied, rubbing her nose on her sleeve. "I'll tell you why it didn't make me happy, Lucky."

Apparently, she and Freddy had gotten pretty friendly during a sparring session and Daryl had walked in while Freddy had her pinned on the floor in a tickling match. He had said some unsavory things to her, insinuating that she was easy. I knew that she didn't see it, but I was pretty sure that just Daryl's way of telling her how much he wanted her to be his. Then after all that, she went and made up with him, asking him to be her friend. Poor girl, she was so naïve that she actually thought that was going to work out.

"Why did you ask him to be your friend if you don't want to be friends?" I asked, knowing that friend was not the word she would prefer to use in reference to Daryl Dixon.

"I don't know!" She cried, dramatically throwing her face into her hands. "I just wanted him to talk to me again! And now he's being all weird toward me and I don't know how to fix it!"

I didn't know why she was torturing herself when the man was obviously pining over her as hard as she was over him. "Maybe you should let him fix it. He's the man." Gah! She was making this so hard! "Why do you worry so much about him anyway? I mean, don't take this the wrong way…but he's not exactly…"

"He is!" Songbird said. "Lucky, he's amazing. He makes me feel safe and he's…well he's the only guy I've ever um…done anything with."

"Well, you're only 18," I told her with a laugh. "I wouldn't imagine that you'd really have a lot of sexual experience under your belt, as it were. And also, let's face it, if this was still the real world, you probably wouldn't be as interested in going the long haul with Daryl Dixon…"

That was the wrong thing to say to her right now. "Why not? What do you think is so wrong with Daryl?"

"Nothing, I guess," I backtracked, hopefully she would stop with the evil looks. "Sometimes he's kind of a jerk apparently, but I'm just saying that since you're so young, it probably would have come to an end even if the two of you had done the deed…"

"Well, my mom was only 15 when she had me," Songbird said. That didn't exactly make the current situation any better, the only thing I had learned from that statement was that she came from fertile stock.

"Really?" I asked, wondering where she was hoping to get with this line of thought.

She told me that her mother's family was the religious sort and that her father had discovered her mother at her after school job as a grocery clerk. He had been a traveler and she had left home with him, they'd ended up in Ohio when she found out that she was pregnant with Songbird; he dumped her there with no hope of going home because her parents saw her as a black spot on their heavenly résumés.

"She lived on the streets for a while. Things looked up eventually," Songbird continued. "And I don't think she could have raised me better."

"How did she die?" I asked, giving what I hoped was a comforting pat on the shoulder. The moral of this story didn't seem to be to hop into the bed of every raggedy redneck that dropped his tailgate.

"Cancer," Songbird answered, swallowing hard. "We didn't know until it was too late." She began to sob in earnest then, catching me completely off guard. I patted her back again, it seemed to help last time.

"Sorry," she whispered when she was done.

"It's okay," I smiled at her. "I think we've all had one of those. An apocalypse is hell on the nerves."

Songbird grinned shakily and nodded. "So…kill more stuff and I'll watch," she said. "It'll make me feel better."

I only got to loot a few unfriendly strangers' corpses when she said, "You know what would make me feel even better?"

"What?" Was there anything better than playing video games to cure the ailing soul?

"Karaoke," she answered seriously.

A large group of people coming in my room to sing, and I could only assume that they sang badly, was not my idea of a good time; but she was so determined that I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it until I finally gave in, I decided not to put myself through any more torture than was necessary. "Fine." I conceded.

I helped her set up the room for the party, setting the seats out of the way and replacing them with a dance floor veneer; then sent her on her way to invite people to her makeshift celebration and started to get ready myself.

I spent some time picking out my clothes, it had been a while since I'd had any real quality time with Rick and I wanted to wear something that would remedy that. I laid the dress out on my bed and undressed before hopping up onto the bed myself to paint my nails. The dark red polish was just the right hue to offset the cream colored off the shoulder sweater dress I had picked out; I admired the combination absently before sliding off the bed and walking leisurely to the bathroom.

I had just stepped onto the tiled floor when I heard my bedroom door open, I turned around to tell Songbird that I was going to take a shower and saw Rick standing in the doorway. I could feel the blush as it rushed over my body, I searched fruitlessly for something to cover up with. Rick shut the door quickly behind him, taking a hesitant step forward.

"I, was, uh, about to get in the shower." I said, crossing my arms over my chest then remembering there were more important parts to cover up and getting frustrated when I realized how stupid I looked with my hands over my crotch.

"Oh, well, I was going to take a shower myself and I remembered your offer to let me use yours." He grinned. "That's a lovely color on you by the way. This is the first time I've really gotten to see just how well it really compliments you."

Oh God, I suddenly realized what was happening and almost choked on the nervousness creeping up my throat. I found myself staring at the ceramic tile under my feet, not quite knowing what I was supposed to do next, but sure that I wanted to do something. "It would probably be better if we tried to conserve water. Did you want to…" I trailed off, still not able to look directly at him.

"Yes." Was all he said before crossing the room and pulling me up into his arms for a rough desperate kiss.

I couldn't feel anything but the strength of him holding me up and the deep bruising pressure of his lips on mine, oh, and a deep desire for him to never stop. Ever. He groaned as I ground my pussy against the hard bulge in his pants, pushing me against the door for more leverage. I let my hands slip down between us to unbutton his jeans; he grabbed my hand and led it down his flat stomach before wrapping it around his cock.

I moaned as I felt how much I had affected him, smiling as pride welled up inside me; but it made me realize that that was going to be inside of me, I shrank away from him afraid and not sure how to proceed.

"What's wrong?" He asked, looking concerned that he had done something to put me off.

"I don't know what I'm doing." I whispered. "And that scares me a little." I glanced down at his open fly.

He smiled down at me. "We can, uh, take it slow."

I could tell he did not want to take things slow, which made me want him that much more. "Slow then." I pulled him into the bathroom and locked the door.

His clothes were piled up into the corner of the room before I'd had a chance to turn the shower on, his hands gliding over my body as he murmured, "you're so beautiful."

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed along his jaw line and down his neck until he grasped the hair at the nape of my neck and brought my lips to his for another deep rough kiss that made me shiver down to my toes. His other hand was still exploring my curves.

He reached down and squeezed my ass, making me thrust my hips in his direction. He lightly tweaked my nipple, causing me to squeal into his mouth. Then he slipped his hand between my thighs and I felt his fingers moving in slow soft circles. "Oh God!" I moaned and his fingers pressed harder, one slipping into my already wet pussy. I shuddered against him, making his hand move faster.

I was vaguely aware of him shoving me against the shower wall, holding me in place with one arm as he delved deeper into me. He slipped in a second finger and began pulsing them in a quick steady rhythm. "Look at me." He murmured. I opened my eyes to meet his piercing hungry gaze and felt an intense urge to make him happy.

I let my hand slide down his body to wrap my fingers around his cock again, grinning at his involuntary thrust. The shower's spray had made him slick and it was easy to pump my hand back and forth, I tried to stay in rhythm with his fingers as they brought me closer to the brink of orgasm.

My head fell back against the wall as my body clenched around his fingers; I heard myself calling out his name as the sweet tension finally gave way to pure uncontrollable pleasure. I writhed against his hand, trying desperately not to let go of his cock as he pumped into my hand until he came.

He relaxed over me, pulling me close as he held himself up with one arm against the wall. I felt giddy; I couldn't stop grinning like an idiot. "That was…" I said, pulling away to look at his face. "It was just…"

"Yeah, it was."He kissed my hair before straightening himself up.

"Sorry about freaking out a little before." I blushed, looking down at my feet again.

"No," He told me, lifting my chin so he could look into my eyes. "I said we'd take it slow. You are worth every second I have to wait for you."

After actually showering, we walked out of the bathroom wrapped in the big fluffy pink towels that I had in stock. Rick was teasing me about them and playfully attempting to unwrap me, so we didn't notice Songbird standing in my room right away.

"I, uh, didn't know you were in there together or I…" She trailed off, blushing and looking everywhere but at us.

I surprised myself by not being the slightest bit ashamed; I was still a little high from getting off and just smiled back at her as she stumbled over her words.

"Yeah, well… I was just leaving." Rick said, giving me a kiss before walking past Songbird on his way out the door.

She kept her eyes down until the door clicked, then a devious smile bloomed over her face as she raised her eyebrows at me.

I just shrugged and walked over to my vanity and sat down to brush my hair.

"So that's it?" She asked, as she walked towards the bathroom. "You get down and dirty with Rick in the shower and now you aren't going to tell me anything?"

I sighed, staring at my reflection and hoping she would just drop the subject. But she didn't; she just stood there staring at me expectantly, like a puppy wanting food. "We didn't go all the way." I said reluctantly. "I got scared."

"Scared?" She looked at me incredulously. "What the hell is there to be scared of?"

"The only experience I've ever had with this kind of thing is with…myself." I stuttered defensively. "From all the stories I've ever heard, the first time hurts. Forgive me if I freaked out a little bit."

"I didn't mean… I guess I didn't think about that." She said quietly. "So, what did you do then?" Her usual playfulness had returned to her voice. "Did you…" She looked around like someone might be listening and dropped her voice to a whisper. "Did you go down on him?"

"Uh, no." That wasn't on my list of most pleasurable things to do while alone with Rick, but it was probably on his, now that I thought about it. I would have to work that in sometime soon. God, even when he wasn't right in front of me, all I wanted to do was please him! That man had some kind of spell on me. I wondered if…

"So?" Songbird interrupted my thoughts, leaning against the wall by the vanity mirror.

"So, I need to put clothes on and you need to take a shower." I looked at her seriously. "People are going to be filing into my game room soon; we should at least be dressed when they do." I waved her away when she started to pout. "We'll have plenty of time to talk about this later."

She sulked for a moment longer, then traipsed into the bathroom. I got dressed and put my hair up, then walked to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

James was leaning against the counter, sipping red wine. "You look different." He said, eyeing me over his glass.

"I painted my nails." I shrugged.

"I don't think that's it." His eyebrows furrowed. "You look happy."

"I don't usually look happy?" I asked drily, biting into an apple.

"Not like that." He shook his head.

"I don't know, maybe I'm more excited about this party than I realized." I said, starting to walk out of the room and almost running into the Rooster.

"You look different." He said. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"There's going to be a party. I'm excited." I told him as I hurried out of the room.

I realized I just had to turn back around when I noticed everyone making their way into the kitchen. I sat down and smiled like an idiot when Rick sat down beside me. I saw my dad's eyes widen in realization out of the corner of my eye and felt my face go beet red. Rick looked at me questioningly but I just shook my head. I felt his hand on my thigh under the table and relaxed, smiling as I gave him a little kiss.

Dinner went by quickly with everyone talking about what they wanted to sing later and how welcome the distraction was. It wasn't very long before people started getting up and making their way to the game room, I stayed behind and washed dishes.

"Want some help with that?" Rick asked when everyone else had left the room.

"Ooh, a man doing dishes without being asked. I guess the world really has ended." I drawled. "Nah. I've got this, but I wouldn't mind you keeping me company."

"Tell the truth. You just want to keep me all to yourself." He grinned, wrapping his arms around me.

"I do." I said smugly, rinsing off the last plate and wiping my hands off before turning to twine my arms around his neck.

"I wanted to get you alone again." He told me, nuzzling my neck.

"And what would you possibly need to get me alone for?" I breathed.

"Because you're mine." He said, holding my face so he could look into my eyes. "And I don't like sharing my things." There was a hard edge to his voice that made me wonder if he'd always been so aggressive or if this was a_ learned_ behavior. Either way, it made me press my body even closer to his and pull him in to nibble at his bottom lip. He smiled and started to lift me up to the counter top.

"Not a good idea." I said, pulling away.

"Why not?" He asked breathlessly, looking as if he were about to ravage me anyway.

"My dad…he, uh, already has issues with you, deliberately disobeying him would just ruin any chance of him ever liking the idea of…us." I answered, hating my dad for being in my head right at this moment.

"Deliberately disobeying him? What rules did he set exactly? Is that why you got so nervous earlier?" He sounded confused.

"No! That was…all me." I was getting flustered.

"Then what did he say?" He asked.

"Not on the counter." I said. He stood there looking at me for a minute then burst out laughing.

"Dad?" Carl's voice asked from behind Rick. My breath caught and I silently thanked my daddy for "ruining" my moment.

Rick grinned at me before putting some space between us. "What is it son?" He turned, still chuckling and bent down to his son's level.

"Aren't you coming to the party?" He sounded both pitiful and annoyed the way only children can. "You're going to miss it all."

"Of course, son. I was just helping Lucy with the dishes." He told him.

I noticed that he used my real name; it wasn't the first time I'd heard him use it and at first I'd thought it was his way of being playful, but after tonight I could hear the possessive tone in his voice as he said it. No one used my name unless I had some kind of connection with them, and he was using it now. He'd been telling me I was _his_ all this time and I hadn't even heard him.

"You ready, Lucky?" Carl asked, looking at me over his dad's shoulder.

"Of course, I'm ready whenever you are." I smiled down at him.

When we walked into the party, it was going on at full force; Songbird was just finishing up on stage, apparently she had done well, her applause was amazingly loud. She pointed the microphone in my direction, I pretended not to notice but Rick led me to the stage and I reluctantly accepted it.

I flipped through my discs and pulled one out at random, then let a random track play; it was the way we did karaoke as a family, one of my favorite traditions. The first jarring chords of Frou Frou's "Holding out for a Hero" boomed over the speakers and I almost laughed at how perfectly it fit.

I settled into my karaoke persona that I usually reserved for family and those awful beauty contests my mother had forced me into and crooned the first verse, looking directly at Rick as I sang.

_Where have all the good men gone__  
><em>_And where are all the gods?__  
><em>_Where's the street-wise Hercules__  
><em>_To fight the rising odds?__  
><em>_Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?__  
><em>_Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need_

I let myself look around the room as I belted out the chorus and saw Songbird dancing with Daryl. Well, I guessed they would call it dancing; it was more of Daryl pushing her in an awkward jerky circle and Songbird desperately trying to get out of his way. Daddy and James were leaning against the wall and bobbing their heads to the beat. Freddy was dancing with Sofia who was grinning from ear to ear while Carl was giving them dark looks. He seemed to have gotten over my rejection pretty easily.

When the song was over, I hopped off the stage and tossed the microphone at Freddy. He scowled at me and I stuck my tongue out at him, giving him a playful punch on the shoulder before turning to look for Rick again. Songbird found me instead.

"You have to tell me!" She insisted. "Honor the code!"

"What code?" I asked, seriously confused.

"The virgin code… the best friend code…the code I made up so that you have to tell me about sex!" She exclaimed.

I shushed her, looking around to see if anybody was looking our way before leading her to an empty corner. "I told you I didn't have sex."

"You did something and I want to know what." Songbird said matter-of-factly, obviously not caring who heard, but then did she ever?

"We, uh…let's just say that Rick is very good with his hands." I managed to say, still turning a little red in the process.

"Oh." She sounded disappointed. Good. Maybe next time she wouldn't hound me so much about it.

"Is that all you wanted to know?" I asked, already starting to turn away.

"I guess." She sighed. "You really don't handle girl talk well, do you?"

"I guess not… I mean, what did you want me to tell you? I can give you a play by play if you want to see how dark my blush can get." I said with a laugh hoping she would say no, but holding my breath, I never knew what she was going to do.

It took a minute, she was seriously thinking of what to say next. "Are you good with your hands too?" Was what she finally asked. I stood in amazement as she went on, "because I will have you know that I am!" Aw, images that I never wanted to see popped into my head with that statement… terrible images to go along with all the sleep talking.

"I'm, uh, good enough I guess." I started slowly, pushing those pictures out of my head before going on. "I kind of got the job done while getting done myself, if you know what I mean. He didn't have any complaints." Of course now I was second guessing it though. Did I do a good job? I'd have to try it again and make sure, or at least get better at it.

"That's good then. Fun for all." She said, but her mind seemed elsewhere. "Well, keep me posted and remember the code if you get brave enough to have sex."

I looked over at my dads as they took the stage with a moving rendition of the Beatles' "In My Life"; their voices wound around each other so perfectly. Dale took Songbird away for a dance and I leaned against the wall, letting my eyes fall closed as I listened. You could feel that they had felt loss in their life and having each other had made it all worthwhile. I could only hope to have something that special in my life.

"You look awfully lonesome over here by yourself." Rick said softly, pulling me out of my reverie. "Are you okay?"

I hadn't even realized that I had been crying until he wiped a tear from my face with his thumb. "Yeah. I just love this song."

"It's nice, kind of sad though." He leaned beside me, pulling me close to him.

"It's beautiful because it tells the truth." I looked up at him with a smile. "Rick, I…" I trailed off, not exactly sure what I was going to say.

"Hmm?" He asked, leaning in to hear me over the music and talk around us.

"I… this feels really good. What we have, it's good." I wasn't quite sure why I felt the need to say it out loud, but I knew that wasn't exactly what I had meant to say in the first place. I guess I didn't have the balls to come right out and tell him how I felt.

"Yeah. It is." He said, kissing me softly. "It's the best I've ever had."

"Really?" I pulled back to look at him, not really knowing whether to believe he'd never felt like this before or not.

"I swear no one has ever made me feel the way you do." He told me, tracing along my jaw with his thumb. "Ever."

"God, Rick." I let myself kiss him, one long deep kiss. "You know you're probably the only man to ever say something like that and mean it."

He laughed at me, leaning in for another kiss when Carl came over and leaned against his dad.

"I'm tired." He said under a yawn.

"Alright buddy." Rick smiled at him, then gave me a rueful grin. "I'm going take him to bed."

"So, I guess this is goodnight?" I asked, hoping he would disagree.

"I guess so." He gave me one last little kiss before picking up his son and walking away.

I felt a little deflated as I watched him leave room. I turned around and stepped into the privacy of my bedroom, shutting my door to block out the sounds of Songbird and Freddy singing "I need you now". I plopped down on my bed, wishing Rick were laying in it beside me and kicking myself for being so selfish. He has a kid, you have to share him, get over it. But the longing never went away and I fell asleep thinking of how I was going to tell him I loved him.


	8. Chapter 8

"Where are you off to?" Freddy asked when we passed each other in the hall the morning after the karaoke party.

"I thought I'd help James with the morning chores; I kind of feel like I've been shirking them since we've been back." I told him.

"I would have thought you'd want to spend your every waking moment with 'Officer Grimes'" He teased, but followed me down the hall and out through the dull early morning sunshine to the barn.

"Oh I want to, but the guilt would probably kill me."I said, putting on an apron and pouring some chicken feed into it.

"Yeah sure, you know Dad would get to you before the guilt." Freddy gave me a sidelong glance as he mixed grains and hulls in a bucket. "Is that what this is about? Did the old Rooster get to you?"

"No." I rolled my eyes. "I just needed the distraction. There's been too much noise lately; it's nice out here in the quiet." I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I miss real life."

He snorted. "Sorry to break it to you, but real life now involves walking corpses and having our house filled with loud weapon illiterate people. You should just come to terms with that."

"I know." I sighed. "At least I still have you. You know, for the compassion and sympathy."

"That's what I'm here for." He started to walk out of the barn but turned just inside the doorframe. "I've missed you, Lucy."

"I know. I've missed you too. Sorry I've been so preoccupied lately." I followed him out and started calling out for the hens as I flung their food around.

"It hasn't just been you." He spread the contents of his bucket into a trough. "But I doubt I'll have much distracting me from now on."

"Oh?" I was surprised, but glad that Songbird had decided to stop leading my brother on.

"I kissed Songbird last night." He blurted out.

"Geez Freddy, was it that bad?" The disturbed look on his face was almost comical.

"Uh, yes and no." Was all he said.

"Well, with such a vivid description I almost feel like I was there." I said dryly.

He sighed. "I wonder if she would be a good kisser if she really wanted to kiss me, because that was just…" He trailed off.

"I guess it was that bad then." I stood there and studied him as he dwelled on the unpleasantness a while longer. "Maybe there is some other pretty little knife thrower out there just for you."

"What's her real name?" He asked abruptly.

"I have no idea." I said, confused.

"Do you think any of them know?" He responded.

"My guess is no. She is pretty closed mouthed on all things Songbird."

"I figured if she had told anyone, it would be you." He continued.

"Or Daryl." I said without thinking.

"Oh no." He shook his head. "I am fucking determined to find out before he does."

"What if she already told him and made him promise not to say anything?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I doubt it." He said confidently. "Want to make this interesting? We could bet on which one of us can get it out of her first."

"Sure." I said, already deciding not to even try. If Freddy wanted this so bad, I'd let him have it.

A couple of days later he took his chance while Songbird and I were on watch duty. He kicked me out of the tower, probably thinking she would open up to him if they were alone, which was fine with me; I had some issues to mull over and I'd rather not have company to do it.

"Where were you when this whole thing started?" Songbird had asked me in the tower. It was a simple enough question; one of those things that every major event in the history of the world has tacked on to it. But then, those things are never really simple when it comes down to it. Memories are not simple things; they are too full of emotion to 'just' be anything.

_The convention had been unexceptional; most of our customers were men who seemed to lose all sense of personal boundaries in the presence of semi-attractive girls like me. I had spent most of my time secretly cringing as I laughed at their perverse gun jokes and slathering my hands and arms with hand sanitizer as soon as they walked away._

_ "Jeez, I know more about everything in our booth than you do." I snarled at Freddy as we closed up shop after our first day of sales. "You would think they would stop trying to grope me long enough to listen to what I have to say."_

_ "Nope. You are here purely for aesthetics, the sooner you realize that the better it will be for everybody." He nudged me in the arm and I rolled my eyes at him. _

_ "God, I hate these stupid conventions." I said._

_ "Shh, are they making an announcement?" Freddy asked, looking up at the large screens displayed over the stage to our left._

_ It was a news report. The anchor looked sick, pale and genuinely frightened as he told us of an apparent worldwide viral outbreak. The disease caused fever, followed by delusions and a coma. When the victims awoke they would be extremely violent, it was imperative to avoid contact with those individuals as the virus is believed to travel through contact with bodily fluids. _

_ I could hardly hear anything he was saying, the hum of whispers throughout the convention hall was distracting enough, but the anchor kept fidgeting with a bandage on his hand._

_ "Looks like that guy got a little too close to one of those 'victims'." A portly man with a leather biker hat snorted to the woman he was walking with as he walked by our booth._

_ The poor reporter was pallid with a sheen of sweat dripping into his eyes; it was obvious he was having trouble either speaking or reading the teleprompter._

_ "Poor guy, I can't believe they are making him work like that!" The words had just left my mouth when the anchor's head dropped to his desk with a loud sickening smack._

_ "Oi!" Freddy whispered disapprovingly. _

_ We all stood there, dumbfounded and transfixed by the pandemonium that broke out on the television screen. People were crowded around the anchor now, blocking him from view. Some were trying to rouse him, some trying to move him and some just standing like we were with uncertainty painted on their faces._

_ After a few moments of apprehensive waiting, the crowd let out a collective horrified gasp as one of the women trying to rouse the fallen broadcaster screamed. The cluster of people around him began tripping over each other, trying desperately to get as far from him as possible. When the anchor came into view again, his face had changed; his eyes were a pale yellow and the blood seemed to have drained from his face, making him look lifeless and strange. He was gnawing on the woman's arm, holding her down on the desk with his weight._

_ Our attention was drawn from the screen to woman who had been walking with the portly man who'd commented on the report earlier. She had collapsed suddenly, jerking before going completely limp. There was a loud report as her companion shot her in the head. _

_ "I wasn't about to let her come back as one of those monsters." He defended as he looked around at the sea of dumbfounded stares around him. _

_ The next instant could only be described as hysteria as people made a mad dash to the doors. Freddy shoved me under one of our tables and handed me a gun from a nearby box. I loaded it and looked at him for instructions._

_ "Are we going to make a run for it?" I asked him._

_ "Don't think we can get through this with all of our stuff and I'd rather not go out there without plenty of firepower." He said, looking around at the hoards of people trampling each other. "When things slow down…" He started._

_ "What the hell? You can't lock us in here!" Someone shouted, followed by several other people calling out obscenities at whoever had shut the doors._

_ "They are locking the doors?" I whispered, hearing my voice shake. "That guy shot that woman when she fell down, Freddy! What if they are all crazy like that? What if others have been bitten?" I crawled as close to my brother as I could, trying not to freak out. "What are we going to do?"_

_ "Calm down, they can't just keep us in here." He told me as he put his arm around my shoulders. "They are probably just trying to keep people from killing each other on the way out. Put lines up and stuff, you know?"_

_ That didn't make me feel better. I just wanted to get out of this cramped convention hall, away from these stupid rednecks and back home where I knew it was safe. I drew in a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut; hoping this was all a weird dream and none of this was real. What kind of virus could make a person change so completely? That man had just killed that woman, the scene kept playing in my head, forcing me to open my eyes and look around at all of the angry, frightened people as they eyed each other suspiciously. _

_ After about an hour, a man standing close to us called out "That's it, I'm going to see what the fuck is going on." His wife begged him to stay with her, but he just shushed her and left her standing there alone looking scared while he pushed his way toward the doors. There was a commotion as the man loudly announced that he wasn't going to take this shit and someone was going to tell him what the hell was going on; the crowd shouted in the affirmative then there was a gunshot and the room went quiet._

_ "I suggest you all get comfortable." A deep gravelly voice said over the loudspeaker. "Because causing a riot or trying to push your way out those doors is just going to result in being punished." The way he said 'punished' made it obvious the owner of the voice was smiling as he said it. "We know what is out there, and believe me people, it isn't pretty; so why don't you all just have a seat somewhere and we'll let you know what's best for you when we figure it all out." _

_ Freddy and I exchanged a look; we were raised to avoid being in situations like this, and here we were with the options of comply or be shot._

_ "What's the plan then?" I asked him in a low voice._

_ "We stay low until we figure out what the hell is going on; then we get the fucking hell out of here." He replied, still looking around the room, probably making mental notes of where the exits were, who had what weapons and who might be in charge._

_ I made an inventory of the weapons we had in stock and put a few essentials into a bag that we could carry away in a hurry; but we didn't have a chance to escape that day, or the next. The group that had designated themselves as our leaders sorted through us like livestock, looking over everyone for bites and killing anyone who may have been infected on sight. I saw a few people killed for talking back under the guise of 'bites'. They took most of our weapons, except for the bag that I had hidden in the women's bathroom's tiled ceiling. _

_ Days turned into weeks and the governing group got stronger, keeping the best food for themselves and feeding the rest of us only once a day 'so we wouldn't run out'. They started getting bolder, pulling women into the small dank rooms adjoining the main hall and making us listen to the pitiful sounds of them being raped._

_ One of the men stopped to look at me one day, appraising my curves with a wicked glint in his eyes. "Want to come back with me, honey?" He asked, moving to yank me up. I snarled as I kicked him away._

_ His buddies laughed and one of them told him to "starve her for a couple of days, it's always better when they don't have too much fight left in them." He eyed me viciously for a moment or two then agreed, walking away and laughing loudly at how good of a fuck I was going to be._

_ It was the next day that people had decided they'd had enough. A couple of the smarter ones had found a way into the room where all of our weapons had been stored and had been sneaking smaller handguns and knives to the rest of the prisoners little by little throughout the day. _

_ Freddy and I took advantage of the pandemonium that broke out during the revolt and kicked our way through some of the flimsier doors until we found a room with windows. Carrying our bag of weapons, we headed out into whatever the world had turned into in the weeks we had been held hostage._

_ It didn't take us long to figure out how bad it had gotten. We were starving from the minuscule rations the convention leaders had given us, so our first stop was a grocery store. There was barely anything left and the majority of what was there had gone rotten. We ended up with a few cans of hominy, beets and garbanzo beans._

_ That food run was our first real view of what had happened to the people outside the convention center. There were several walkers roaming through the aisles, and every shot from our guns brought more down on us. I hated shooting them, they looked too much like people and I had seen too many live people killed in the last weeks to handle it well. Freddy pulled me out of the store and only let me stop after we had ridden well out of the city. I'd dry heaved well after there was nothing left to throw up, and sobbed beyond the point of tears._

_ We had decided that trying to talk our mothers into heading out to our dad's farm would be our plan, but we both lost hope along the way; taking comfort in the fact that we had each other to depend on. It didn't take long for us to learn the ins and outs of survival in this new world: the best ways to dispatch of large groups of walkers, which places probably still had supplies, how to decide if a place was safe for resting and if not, how to make it so. _

_ We learned the hard way not to trust anyone; until we met our current companions, that is._

I took in a deep breath and headed to the kitchen to get myself something to drink. I found a juice box in the pantry and took a nice hard hit off of it, stuffing another one in my pocket for later. I walked back into the living area and saw Daryl with a knife and whetstone in the corner.

"Thought you had watch with the Songbird," he said.

"I did" I said, wondering where Rick was and wanting to let him help me forget everything I'd been thinking about earlier.

"It's over?" He asked, eyeing me suspiciously. Geez, there are only so many places the girl could be right?

I propped myself against the wall to tell him, "No, she and Freddy wanted to be alone."

"What the fuck for?" He spat. Oh, he was still pining for her. How sweet. Gag.

"I don't know," I lied. "She wanted him to show her something."

"What's there to see?" Was he actually jealous of Freddy? Poor guy, he must truly not know what's going on. He looked like he could really hurt something right now.

"Don't look at me like that," I told him. He must not have gotten the memo about not shooting the messenger. "I really don't know what's happening! All I know is that she said she wanted to be alone with him and he looked happy about it. I also know that I am enjoying your discomfort. Is that so wrong?"

"Why would you be enjoyin' this?" He sounded genuinely hurt and confused, which would make me feel sorry for him if he weren't being such an idiot about this whole situation.

"You've caused her so much pain; it's nice to see that she's causing a little pain for you too," I stated honestly, hoping he would get the point. Soon. His face contorted first into anger, then concern, then realization. "Huh." I said, thinking that he might have actually just gotten it.

I left him there, wandering off in the direction of the practice room. If I didn't find Rick there, at least I could take out my aggression on another mannequin; hopefully without tearing it apart this time. I did find him there though, showing Carl how to hold a gun.

"Somebody likes getting into trouble." I told him as I checked Carl's grip, pleased at how well he was doing.

"I already told Lori, thank you very much." He grinned, but I could tell it hadn't gone well.

"Good. The sooner he learns the better." I said, not understanding why a mother wouldn't want her kid to be able to protect himself; but those were thoughts I should probably keep to myself. "We have some air soft guns around somewhere if you want to let him get some target practice."

"Can I, dad?" Carl begged.

Rick nodded and I dug around until I found three guns and a canister of BB pellets. We took turns shooting at the targets that had already been set up in the corner, I was surprised at how easily Carl picked up on how to aim; I guess he had been really paying attention when the grownups around him had needed to shoot.

We'd been at it for a couple of hours when I heard Daryl call out "You're fuckin' this little prick and it's not my business?"

"Oh, crap!" I put my gun down as I shook my head, knowing exactly which 'little prick' he was talking about. "I should probably make sure Daryl doesn't get himself hurt." I figured most people could forget how dangerous Freddy could be when he was in his natural 'nice guy' state, but Daryl has seen him in action, would he really be stupid enough to try fighting him?

I made it into the living room to hear Freddy say "Songbird? I can't believe you haven't even bothered to find out what her real name is!"

Scheisse Fred, don't make this worse!

"She won't tell anybody what her goddamn name is!" Daryl stated, obviously thinking that if anyone knew anything about Songbird, it was him.

"Meh." Freddy said, nonchalantly mocking Daryl with a not so subtle double thumbs-up at himself.

I dropped my face to my palm, knowing that this was not going to end well. What I couldn't understand was that Freddy had just told me that he was over Songbird, why did he want to antagonize Daryl like this? I sighed as Daryl let out a primitive sounding "What the _fuck_?" and started making his way towards my brother, who looked like he was itching for a good fight.

"Why are you mad at me? You're the one who hasn't been talking to her!" Freddy asked in the same mocking tone he'd used before. It must be a guy thing; some need to, I don't know, feel superior.

"How the hell can I when you're all over her all the damn time?" Daryl questioned, nearly closing the gap between them.

I threw myself between them, knowing that this was going somewhere neither of them wanted to go and the only person who was going to really feel it was Songbird. "Hey! Hey!" I looked at Daryl and Songbird, hoping this would be the final straw between them and that this whole thing would finally get worked out, one way or another. "Why don't the two of you go somewhere that isn't near my brother and work this out?"

Daryl just turned and walked away, with Songbird trailing after him.

I glared at Freddy. "What the fucking hell was that?"

"Just trying to help." He smirked. I raised my eyebrows and he laughed at me. "That guy wasn't getting anywhere on his own. I thought I'd give him a push in the right direction so he could figure it out." He held his hand out for a fist bump. "Good job me, right?"

I left him hanging there. "If you didn't ruin it completely." I said over my shoulder as I walked to the kitchen to start dinner.

Songbird and Daryl didn't come back during dinner; or during the time between dinner and when everyone started drifting off to their beds. I sat on the couch, thinking that this was probably a good sign, but Daryl had been really angry when he'd stalked off. For all I knew, he was one of those guys whose girlfriends had always had bruises they blamed on doorframes. I fell asleep on the couch waiting for them to come back, wanting to make sure that Songbird was ok.

I woke up when Rick tried to pick me up.

"I thought you'd be more comfortable in your own bed." He said apologetically.

"Mmm, with you there…" I said then blushed when I'd realized what I'd said. "I mean, what time is it?"

"The clock says it's about five." He chuckled.

"Did they ever come back in?" I asked, sitting up.

"Not unless they're both in your room, Daryl wasn't in the guys' room, anyway." He told me and I scrunched my nose up at the idea. "We can check the surveillance, if it would make you feel better."

"Yeah." I shook myself awake. "And if they are okay, I'm totally letting you carry me back to bed."

He laughed and we made our way to the command center. It didn't take us long to find them; seeing them as they laughed on the tailgate of Daryl's truck made me feel silly for worrying at all.

"Feel better?" Rick asked when I got up from the console station.

"Meh. Once I get over the creepy peeping Tom feeling maybe." I told him.

"So, does this mean I get to carry you to bed?" He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.

"Mmm. I don't see why not." I lifted myself onto my toes to give him a kiss. He pushed me against the wall and kissed me more deeply. It took me a minute to catch my breath so I could say "We should get back to my room before they come in, don't you think?"

He just smiled at me before pulling the door open. He took my hand and we nearly ran directly into Daryl and Songbird as we stepped into the hallway. We stood there looking at each other for a minute and I silently cursed them for their terrible timing. Daryl was shirtless and his jeans were dripping, Songbird looked like she wasn't wearing anything but a sheet she'd wrapped herself in. For some reason this just made me more irritated at them.

"So…nice to see you're not dead. I woke up, you weren't there; you weren't in the house. It's good to know that you're alive," I said, straining to sound civil.

"We were…" Songbird began, but Daryl didn't let her finish.

He clasped a hand over her mouth and began dragging her away saying "She needs clothes. Talk to you later."

Damn it, she was naked under that sheet…and they were headed to my room. Songbird shot me a double thumbs-up behind Daryl's back and I couldn't help but laugh. Rick smiled down at me; he must have been enduring the torture from Daryl's point of view this whole time.

"I guess my room is a negative then." I said dejectedly, making him grin again.

"At least _we_ know what we want." He took my face in his hands and gave me a soft kiss on my nose.

"I guess we _are_ ahead of the game, huh?" I tried to smile and failing with a sigh. "I guess I'll tend to breakfast, then." Rick just chuckled at me with a shake of his head as he followed me to the kitchen.

I decided I wanted my egg shirred that morning and got started measuring out the eggs and cream into ceramic cups. My agitation slowly evaporated as I realized that I wouldn't have to listen to Songbird wondering why Daryl didn't like her anymore. Of course, once everyone sat down to eat, she'd completely inhaled her food and kept shooting me looks. I decided to play dumb and take my sweet time.

After I did finish and got up to put my cup in the sink, she rushed to my side and practically dragged me away, leaving Daryl behind looking confused.

"Wait! You know I want to talk to you!" She ordered after reassuring Daryl that nothing was wrong. We stepped into my room and she shut the door after looking both ways to make sure no one would be listening.

"Whatever could you want to talk to me about?" I asked, fluttering my eyelashes innocently. "I have no idea!" I laughed when she gave me a raised eyebrow.

"You do so know what I want to talk about!" She said as if not catching my sarcasm "And you knew why I didn't come back inside last night and you called me out all innocent in front of Rick earlier! Come on Lucky! If I can't talk to you who can I talk to?"

"I was genuinely worried about you," I told her half jokingly. "What was I supposed to think? I mean, I haven't heard either of you yell anybody's name out in the middle of the night lately."

"What? I've never done that! Before." She argued

"You totally have! You said it was pie…but I know!" I shook my head, not wanting to think about it.

"It was pie! I have strange dreams," Songbird stood her ground. "Wait. Either of us? When were you…where did you…what the hell?"

"It was in camp; he was just really loud. And I was in the truck with him," I joked.

"You were not! Were you? You weren't!" She smiled, sort of.

"Yeah. I would never ever…you know…go there." I reassured her

"Having been there myself, I can tell you that there's no reason not to," Songbird said.

"Are you endorsing it? Are you his advertising manager now?" I asked, hoping she would take the conversation somewhere else.

"You only advertise stuff you want to sell," Songbird answered. "This is just um…information. So, are you going to ask me about it or not?"

Well, that just dashed all of my hopes. "Apparently I don't need to. Do go on."

"Well…I spent the night in Daryl's truck…" She started, her face flushing red as she said it.

So, the Songbird did have a bit of shame in her. "I gathered that much. Were you playing cards?"

"No," She cried out defensively "We…" she covered her face with both hands and said, "We were having sex!"

"Yes, yes, I know. I didn't think you'd be this excited about playing cards," I sighed.

"I've never played a game of cards that was even close to that much fun," she said seriously. "Lucky, it was so…it was just…" She curled up in my bed with her hands over her heart.

"Your idea of foreplay is really weird," I interrupted.

She sat up and looked at me, her eyebrows almost touching in confusion. "What?"

"Having Daryl try to kill my brother, for one thing, running out into a raging rainstorm for another…" I shook my head and laughed at the idea of Daryl coming anywhere near hurting Freddy.

She held up her hand to stop me. "I love the rain. And he didn't try to kill Freddy. He barely even yelled at him. And none of that was foreplay. That was later." I shook my head again and rolled my eyes. "Okay, fine. Then I won't tell you. And you can just wonder. I was just trying to be helpful. I was obeying the code."

"What is it about you trying to get every single piece of information out in the open?" I joked.

"I can't talk to anyone else about this," Songbird whined "Andrea and Carol would just be all mom-ish. This is what's known as girl talk remember?"

I sighed. "Okay, fine."Then thought of the most embarrassing question I could. "How big was it?"

"What?" Her face flushed deep scarlet.

"Well, you wanted to give me all the details right?" I grinned.

"I didn't have a ruler," She defended. "And I have nothing to compare it to. Ummm…big enough. It kinda hurt. And I sort of freaked out in the beginning."

"Was it everything you dreamed?" I questioned patronizingly.

"Yep," Songbird said, smiling like an idiot. "He's perfect, I swear."

I found it hard to imaging Daryl Dixon as 'perfect', and she could see it on my face "Ahem, go ahead." I apologized.

"Well, he is; I even got to…um…you know, get off. So that's something. Especially since it hurt like that in the beginning. But, yeah it really was everything I thought it would be," she sat up and looked me dead in the eyes. "I don't know why you aren't doing this. You should be doing this! Not with Daryl, of course…not that I really think you would…but you should be doing this!"

"And I should go by your assessment?" I asked with a smirk.

"Yes. Yes you should. You know how most things in life have pros and cons? Not this. Pros only, I swear."

"I'll have to take your word on that,"

"Or you could just sleep with Rick," Songbird pointed out. "And don't try to tell me you don't want to."

Ha! She had no idea. "Oh, I want to," I tried to not be mad at her for cockblocking me this morning. "But are you really willing to give up your side of the bed so easily?"

"I didn't think about that," Songbird said, looking a little crestfallen. "So maybe there are cons for me if you have sex."

"Speaking of your side of the bed, you're getting hillbilly germs all over it." I told her, hopefully hinting that I did not want rednecks of any variety on my bed at any time.

"Daryl doesn't have germs!" Songbird said, scooting off the bed and folding her arms. "And he's not a hillbilly!" I gave her an amused look and she looked serious again. "Anyway…no advice? No treating me like a kid? That's refreshing!"

"Um…be safe" And stay off my bed, nah, she knew that right? "I don't need you dying from a Walker bite because you wanted to have sex all the time."

"We were in the truck bed for the main event," Songbird answered, taking me seriously. "No Walkers can get in there anyway."

"I need some air," I told her. "I'll see you later. All this talk about hillbilly sex is just making me nauseated."

"Fine, go get your air," Songbird called after me as I walked away. "But you know you're jealous. And he's not a hillbilly! He's just southern." There was a pause before she added, "And hot. Southern and hot."

The next week went by pretty slowly. We'd all kind of fallen into our own routines. It felt like mine was gradually killing me. I would wake up and turn over to see Songbird smiling in her sleep and fight the urge to smack her with my pillow, then go do the morning chores around the barnyard. My days were spent either in the watchtower- which my father made sure was Rick-free while I was in it- or in the orchards scavenging for fallen nuts and reading in the branches. Later on, I would get to sneak in some long goodnight kisses in my room until Songbird traipsed in complaining about how Glenn or Dale had ruined her time with Daryl. Then it would just start all over again.

It was one of those days, I could feel that it was about to storm and I planned on getting as much fresh air as I could before being stuck underground for who knows how long, so I was lounging in a pecan tree with an old physics textbook and stealing glances at the top of the tower where I knew Rick had watch with Songbird today. I sighed, knowing that wishing he would come down wouldn't make it happen. That was when the movement caught my eye; a young buck was grazing between the tree line and the fence.

I pulled my bow from my shoulder and took aim, leaning on my knee for support; but there was another flutter in the corner of my eye, a dark human-esque form was advancing on the buck. His bright Hawaiian shirt flapped in the breeze where it wasn't stuck to his mostly decayed body. I let my arrow fly and it caught the walker in what was left of his ear, sending him shambling back against the razor wire fence. I jumped down from the branch and cursed as the deer ran off in the opposite direction.

I yanked my arrow out of the corroded corpse through a loop in the fence, careful not to cut myself on the sharp metal, when I noticed the change in air pressure. I could barely breathe and the air seemed to clog my lungs. My hands went clammy and my arrow slipped through my fingers as I looked up to see sickly green clouds churning over my head. Oh, God! I'd lived in Kansas long enough to know a tornado wouldn't be far behind.

I turned on my heels and ran as fast as I could, hoping that I could make it to the tower in time to warn Rick and Songbird. I'd made it halfway across the yard when I saw Rick headed my way. I tried to yell for him to go back inside, but my voice was drowned out by a torrent of freezing rain. I grabbed at his shirt, afraid his hand would slip through mine, and pulled him back toward the door.

I heard him yell something at me, but he cut off whatever he was saying as the hail started to fall and tried to cover my head. I couldn't think of a nice way to tell him he was slowing us down, so I just pulled harder on his shirt. Then the rain stopped. Shit.

"Well, that didn't last long." He said with a grin. "I get the feeling that you aren't the kind of girl that likes long walks in the rain." He tried to pull me close to him for a kiss, giving me a confused look when he saw my face.

"Just run!" Was all I could say before the sounds of roaring air drowned me out and I pushed him toward the door again. We still had a good ten yards between us and safety and I wasn't sure if he knew just how serious this was. I started to slip in the mud and he turned to help me up; I could see just how close the twister was on our tail from the look on his face, so I pushed him into the door with all the energy I had left. He shoved the door open and pulled me in with him, pushing me against the wall and covering me with his body. Daryl was coming in from the house he took in the scene with alarm before trying push the outer door closed.

"Songbird is in the tower!" I yelled at him. He gave me a horrified look before taking off up the stairs. I turned to Rick and called out, "We need to get this door shut!"

He didn't look like he wanted to move from his protective stance but finally nodded and helped me shove the door closed.

"So…" I looked at him and could tell that he was seething. "Your first tornado?" I asked, wanting to cut the tension.

"Do you think this is funny?" He yelled at me.

"No. I…why are you mad at me?" I asked, getting agitated at him for shouting at me.

He grabbed my arm and led me through the door to the house. Freddy was on his way over to see what all the commotion was about , but Rick just shoved me into my room and shut the door in Freddy's face, locking it firmly before turning to look at me.

"What the hell Rick?" I asked, rubbing my arm.

"You could have fucking died out there, Lucy!" He yelled. "You could have died and there wasn't a damn thing I could have done about it."

I had a retort, a really good one about how I didn't make the tornado and we were both fine, but it died in my throat as he picked me up and threw me on the bed. He was over me in another instant, ripping my shirt open; I contemplated having to sew all of those buttons back on for a millisecond before his mouth was on my nipple. "Oh God!" I hissed as I arched my back.

I was vaguely aware of still being sopping wet, but it wasn't the reason I was so eager to get my clothes off. I pushed him up and pulled his tee shirt over his head, kissing down his chest and unbuttoning his fly, desperate to feel him inside of me. I yanked his jeans down and moaned as I wrapped my hand around his hot cock. He let out a groan and I pumped my hand back and forth. It wasn't as easy as it had been in the shower. Maybe if I made it a little more wet.

I tentatively brought my lips around him, pleasantly surprised by his salty taste and eager to please him. He grasped my hair and held my head in place as he shoved his cock deep into my throat. I gagged, making him thrust harder into my mouth; I heard myself making soft sounds of pleasure despite the tears running freely down my face.

"That's so good." Rick murmured shakily while my fingernails dug into his hips to bring him deeper into my mouth. I tried to agree with him but it turned out to be difficult with a mouthful of rock hard cock. He shuddered against my attempt and shoved one last thrust down my throat before pushing me down onto the mattress.

"I wasn't done!" I whined, squirming as he unbuttoned my pants and jerked them off along with my panties in one swift motion before covering my body with his.

"Oh, I know." He laughed and ran a finger in light circles around my clit, dipping his finger into my pussy before returning to tweak my clit some more. "You're so wet." He groaned.

I arched against him, wanting him inside of me. Instead he slid down and I felt his tongue teasing me in quick soft flicks. "Oh fucking God!" I squealed, wrapping my legs around his head and twisting my fingers through his hair. I could feel him groan against me whenever the delicious electric feelings made me shudder, sending more sparks through my body.

I was nearly to my breaking point when he released me. "What the fuck Rick?" I pleaded, making him laugh at me.

"I think you're ready." He grinned, wiping his mouth on my sheets.

"You think?" Any misgivings I'd had about the main event had been successfully transformed into pure desire for him.

He responded by pressing the head of his cock into my pussy, making me tense a little at the sensation of tearing shot through my body. He paused. "Is it…?" He started.

"Just go." I told him, not wanting him to drag it out any more than necessary and knowing that the pain was only temporary.

He eased into me a little more before I couldn't stand it any longer. I pushed him off of me and straddled him. "I said, just go." I repeated as I slid him in, wincing a little but smiling at the startled yet pleased look on his face.

I rocked back and forth, grabbing onto his shoulders as I found a rhythm. My eyes had just fluttered closed when I felt his mouth on my breast again, his tongue flicking back and forth between gentle nips of his teeth, bringing me close to the brink again. He clutched my ass lifting me in a steady rhythm while I rocked. His cock pounded into my g-spot, finally sending me over the edge. I must have screamed out his name because he covered my mouth with his hand only seconds before he buried his face in my shoulder to yell mine.

"Mmm." I grinned, laying my head on his chest. "Maybe we should get caught in tornados more often."

"Or not." He said. "God, Lucy! Don't even joke about me losing you now that I…" He trailed off.

"Now that you…?" I prompted, chewing on my lip in anticipation.

He moved me so that I was looking at him, my face cupped in his hands. "Now that I have you." He looked at me seriously and caressed my cheek with his thumb. "You have to know how I feel about you."

My heart just about jumped out of my chest. He did have me. In every way imaginable, I was completely his. "I love you too, Rick."


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up and rolled over, expecting to see Songbird laying beside me as usual, and started grinning like an idiot when I saw Rick in bed with me instead. I sat up and stared at him for a few minutes, wishing I could do that all day, but I knew there must be massive damage from the tornado and ten times the chores to go with it. I decided to let my officer sleep in for a while, after all he deserved it.

After I had a shower and put on some clean clothes, I wandered out into the hall and was met by a familiar scent. Dang, things must be worse than I thought if Daddy had pulled out the good stuff. I made my way to the practice room just in time to hear my dad say "sleeping with your daughter.", and Songbird laughing. Okay. An odd conversation, but then most conversations shared with a joint usually are.

"Who is sleeping with Songbird's non-existent daughter?" I asked, pushing the door all the way open. "And when was I going to be invited to the nice family bonding time?"

"You're having sex." Songbird whined. "I spent the night with three girls. You don't need anything else." Aw, bitter much?

Daddy downed the last of his whiskey straight from the bottle. "Why are you reminding me?" He looked so pitiful that I almost laughed.

"Aw Daddy, don't be like that!" I put my arm around him as I tried to show him reason. "I'm twenty-six years old. This is an apocalypse; it was bound to happen."

He just looked at me disapprovingly and said, "There's no law against being a virgin in an apocalypse."

"That ship has sailed." Songbird muttered under her breath. Geez, I was going to get nothing but bad vibes from either of them today.

"I love him." I stated firmly. "And I could do worse. He could be a redneck." I directed that last comment at Songbird, who knew perfectly well that she was going to have to relinquish the bed once Rick was in it. I took the blunt from Daddy and took a long satisfying draw, watching Songbird try to formulate a rebuttal.

She didn't get the chance because Freddy had obviously followed his nose as well and burst through the door at that moment. Without any hesitation, he threw himself at the joint in my hand, in a desperate attempt to take it from me. I would have just given it to him if he'd asked, but since he hadn't, I defended it on principle.

"You guys know how this works. Share or get out." Daddy said after a few seconds of letting us fight it out.

I took another long hit before handing it over and sitting across from Songbird. Freddy took a deep draw and sat next to her, already grinning like an idiot. God, he had a weak head for this stuff.

"So, can I at least get my stuff this afternoon?" Songbird asked. Hmm, maybe she was one of those people who got suspicious when she was high. "I'm assuming I'll never get into that bed again." At least she was right about that.

"Yeah, it's at maximum occupancy." I smiled, thinking about Rick laying in it right now and almost wanting to join him again. I took a look at Freddy already spacing out. Almost. "But get your stuff whenever the door is open."

"Okay." She said before proceeding to hassle Freddy for the weed and taking a drag. She froze in mid puff as Glenn walked in with Daryl, obviously nervous about what he might say.

"Pass the party this…"Glenn started when Daryl interrupted with "And just what do you think you're doin'?"

Songbird's face went pale, but then he grinned and gave me a little nudge with his foot, so I scooted to let him sit beside me before he hauled her into his lap.

She sighed in relief and answered, "Trying to convince Lucky to let us have her bed."

I guess these two haven't really been paying attention to their surroundings these last few weeks. "There's a whole other room!" I cried out. "A whole fourth room with no one in it." It dawned on me as this last sentence left my mouth that I could have been taking advantage of it myself, but then Songbird might have thought it was okay to bring Daryl to my room. No. Not an option.

Daryl looked down at the floor and muttered "Now why didn't I think of that?"

Glenn snorted. "Yeah, what did you think was behind that fourth door? Narnia?"

Freddy had been opening and closing his mouth this whole time as if he wanted to join the conversation, but didn't quite know how to jump in. Finally he said "There is no Narnia anymore."

Great. He was as high as a kite already. He immediately withdrew back into his own little world as soon as he spoke, leaving the rest of us to shake our heads at him.

"How long you been smokin'?" Daryl asked.

I rolled my eyes. "He just started." I passed the blunt to Daryl and wondered for the millionth time if Freddy was just fucking with us, or if pot could really induce such an idiotic state in someone so closely related to me.

"He always goes a little soft in the head whenever he participates in extra-curricular activities." Daddy added, looking like he was thinking along the same lines as I was.

Fred's head popped up again, startling us. "You know, we are a lot like cows."

"What the fuck?" Daryl breathed.

"The cows," Freddy started, holding his hand out for the joint, but not getting it. "They're a metaphor for the human condition. We're meat. Meat for the man." His eyes narrowed. "The dead man."

I shook my head again, partly because I was ashamed to call Freddy my brother right now and partly because what he had just said actually made sense. Not much, but still.

Songbird's eyes were wide open. She was taking this all in, and taking it seriously. "Do you think we're meat for the man?" She asked Daryl.

"No." He looked at her, appraising to see if she were paranoid, then patted her back, either he didn't think so or didn't care. "Don't worry about it darlin'."

Daddy got an evil glint in his eye just before he said "You know… James and I were having a conversation similar to this the other night."

"Oh God!" I covered my ears and hoped that I didn't hear what I just heard. "Don't! Just don't!" The last thing I wanted to think about was my dads together… ugh!

I concentrated on the mellow feeling washing over me. I missed family time like this. I looked around and frowned as I realized that James wasn't in here. Where could he be?

"You know what?" Glenn interrupted my reverie. "Looks like I've got like twenty hands." His brows scrunched together. "Or maybe just forty fingers. I'm not sure."

Daryl and Songbird started getting a little too cozy beside me and I shoved them away. "No one wants to see that." I admonished, knowing full well that if Rick were in here, we would have put them to shame. Where was Rick? He couldn't still be sleeping, could he? I had just started to frown when Freddy started talking again.

"I've got it!" he said. "It's an ingenious idea. I'm so glad that I thought of it before you Lucky. You're gonna be all over this!"

I snorted. "Okay, tell me your big plan."

"We use…the cows. We'll lure the Walkers away with the cows. And then…and then…the world. The world will be safe! And we can sneak away," Freddy said dramatically, using his hands to illustrate his points… whatever those were.

Why're we sneaking away if the world is safe?" Daryl asked pointedly.

"You. You can stay with the cows, Daryl. You're a cow to me now, Daryl," Freddy said pointing seriously at Daryl. "That's what you are."

I nearly fell over from laughing so hard, Songbird nearly landing right on top of me. "And I need a Nutter Butter." Freddy concluded, making me laugh even harder.

Songbird perked up at that and told him "Nutter Butters are great!"

"You see?" Freddy sat up straighter and gestured emphatically as he said, "It's like one mind! That's what it's like with you and me, Songbird. One mind." He tapped her forehead and then his.

Daryl wrapped his arms around her and said "Keep your mind away from my girl."

The door opened suddenly and Rick stepped in. I smiled stupidly at him as Songbird fumbled in her attempts to get rid of the joint.

"Are you smoking pot?" The way he said it made it sound like he was talking to everybody, but his eyes were trained on me. God, the was hot!

"You're the man!" My father spat out, making me cringe with embarrassment. "Fuck the man!" Don't mind if I do…

"Okay!" I said before thinking about it, and surprising myself by not blushing when I'd realized I'd done it.

Daddy face-palmed with a weary sigh.

"Oh man! Don't arrest me! We're friends right?" Glenn rambled.

"He ain't gonna arrest anybody," Daryl said with a laugh. "He's only got the one pair of cuffs and I'm guessin' he's got other things planned for those."

It took a second for what Daryl said to sink in, but it sent shivers down my spine when it did. "So, are you going to arrest somebody?" I winked playfully at Rick, wondering if the pot was making me bold, or if I just didn't care anymore.

Rick and Daddy shared a rather cold silent exchange, ending with Rick telling me "I don't think we should have this conversation here." Which I translated as 'I need to get you alone… now'.

"I know somewhere that we can… uh…work this out." I got up and brushed myself off. "I'll go quietly officer Grimes." He turned to open the door for me and I hopped onto his back. "You look like you could use a good riding." I giggled into his ear.

He grinned up at me. "What's gotten into you?" He asked as he readjusted me into a more comfortable position.

"Why that would be you, officer." I answered.

The tornado had ripped huge gaping holes in our first line of defense, and after Rooster, Freddy, James and I had spent the better part of two days working on repairing them, we still had barely made any progress. Not being able to just take a trip to the hardware store meant that we had to salvage as much of the torn fences as possible. Twisted pieces of razor wire littered the yard, making our beautiful acres finally reflect the horror that had overtaken the rest of the world.

We hadn't seen any other walkers since I had sighted the one after my deer, but that didn't mean there weren't any out there; we had been extra vigilant, sending out pairs to canvas the grounds in addition to the usual watch in the tower. The men in the group had insisted on helping with the fence, but Daddy was sure that they would just screw it up, so they had to be happy with extra watch duty.

I could hear that Shane and Rick were up the tower, they were pretty deep into their argument and their voices carried all the way to us on the south side of the cabin.

"Those boys are going to fucking draw the walkers to us if they can't learn to keep their damn traps shut." Daddy grumbled as he reached for a pair of wire cutters.

"I wonder whose bright idea it was to put them together up there in the first place." I said numbly, knowing that they were probably screaming at each other over Lori and not quite sure how I felt about that.

"I think Freddy handled the schedule this week. Take it up with him." He muttered, soldering two pieces of the fence together while I held them in place. "I just want them to shut up."

I shook my head. "God, Freddy can be a real dumbass sometimes."

"He ain't the only one." He said, giving me the evil eye.

"Hey, just because he is a law man doesn't make him a pig." I stuck my tongue out at him, making him hang his head.

"Girl, I thought I taught you better." He said exasperatedly.

"You taught me to think for myself, and I think that I really might love him." I grunted as I twisted a deviant piece of metal back into place. "Can't you just be happy for me?"

"I guess, maybe." He started dubiously. "If you really think he could make you happy."

"He already does make me happy." I laughed. I heard a whistle and turned around to see James coming out of the cabin with a couple of thermoses. "Oh good, James read my mind."

Daddy raised his head and smiled. James started to lift his empty arm in a friendly wave, but suddenly stopped short and crumpled to the ground. A gaunt figure of a child was standing over him; his tiny body covered in dirt and blood, his jaws still holding fast to James' leg.

I heard the scream before I realized it had come from my mouth. Daddy had already dropped his tools and was running to James at a full sprint. I grabbed the shotgun he had left behind and followed. My legs didn't want to work and I tripped over them several times before actually managing to break into a run. I heard a snap and could see my father tossing something small and round through my tears.

I blankly noticed that the little boy's head was missing. '_You just saw Daddy throw it, you idiot_.' a voice in my head admonished. I felt like I was feeling the world through a vast ocean, everything had a slow blurry quality to it and I couldn't quite get a grasp on how to process it.

I finally managed to bring myself to look at James and gasped in horror. The damage was much worse than I had thought. Half of his left leg was missing; the flesh around his thigh had been ripped away from the bone, the skin and muscle left hanging down below the knee.

I could hear my father yelling and his partner's soft retort. Daddy was shaking his head furiously, but all I could hear was James saying "Don't make me come back and ruin your day any more, Francis", before his head fell to the side and Daddy let out a primal guttural scream of pain.

"Daddy?" I asked dumbly, hoping that he would tell me… I didn't know what he could tell me, anything would be better than hearing the roaring cries of his loss.

He didn't answer me, but the screams subsided just as quickly as they had begun. Getting to his feet, he took the gun from my hand and shot James in the head; in an instant, he had turn the barrel on himself and pulled the trigger.

I collapsed. The world drained of color as I sat there staring at the three bodies lying on the blood soaked grass. I could see them getting smaller, farther away, but I couldn't process why. I heard voices; saw new bodies moving around, talking to me and looking into my face; but none of it really mattered. The images of my fathers dying played over and over in my head, covering up all of the pointless movement around me.


	10. Chapter 10

I wasn't really sure how long I had been in the bed or how I had gotten there for that matter, but I found myself sitting in the middle of it with my arms wrapped around my knees, staring blankly at the wall across from me. My mind was a jumble of pointless memories that all led up to this moment, none of them fitting cohesively together. The only thought that made any sense was '_They're gone. They are not coming back_.'

Pictures of James lying peacefully on the ground and my father's face as he realized what had happened swam in front of my eyes. I heard a sob, felt the bed shake; I grasped onto the coverlet, trying to hold on, afraid of falling off into the sea of pain that had filled the previous hours. I hadn't felt anything but the searing pain of loss since the incident had occurred; but even that was better than the numbness that covered me when I couldn't process the pain anymore.

Someone was holding me; I realized that the sobs had come from me, that the shaking was my body trying to expel this new wave of sadness that had washed over me. I tried to push the person away, but they held on tightly; laying me down on the pillows and stroking my hair. I could barely feel any of it as the numbness filled me again, letting me drown in an unrestful bout of sleep.

I slowly began to comprehend my surroundings again.

I heard Rick or Songbird whenever they came in to comfort me; their caresses no longer sent me into fits of numbness.

I stared back at Freddy while his dead eyes bore into mine, looking at me with equal parts loathing, regret and pity.

I could taste the food they gave me and the world was once again tinged with color, but none of it felt right. Well, nothing but the way Freddy looked at me. Everything he said with his eyes made sense.

'_This is your fault'_. I know.

'_You could have stopped it_.' I didn't know how.

'_I hate you_.' Me too.

I found myself roaming the halls of the compound; ending up in the command center, sitting in Daddy's favorite chair or in their room, hiding under James' desk the way I had done as a little girl when they told me it was time to go home to my mother.

I forced myself to eat and shower and do all of the things that people are supposed to do, but nothing really felt worth doing so I usually just sat in the middle of my bed wishing that I had somehow managed to get killed myself.

'_No_.' Something inside of me cried out one day. '_You still have some things to live for_.' I couldn't quite grasp what it was telling me. My life felt so empty right now; it would just be easier to quit than carry on, but I could feel something nudging me back to the point of actually living instead of being a blob of self pity on my bed.

"Hey, you're awake." Rick smiled at me cautiously as he brought in a tray of food. "Carol made some chicken soup. I thought you might want some."

My stomach let out a feral growl and I blushed, suddenly not wanting Rick to see me in the state I was in. '_What's wrong with you? You've looked worse than this all week, you idiot_.'

"Want me to just leave it here for you?" He asked uncertainly, but I could see a smile playing on his lips as he took in the fact that I was blushing.

"No." I said suddenly, surprising myself. "I want you to stay with me."

He let the smile he had been holding back cover his face. "Good." He put the tray on my bedside table and sat beside me. "I've missed you."

We sat there in silence for a few minutes; I didn't really know what to say, I felt like I'd been trapped in a cave for years and that one smile Rick had given me was sunlight. I craved more, but I wasn't sure how to get it.

For his part, Rick seemed content to sit with me in silence. He felt like he was trying to move closer, but pulling himself back at the same time. Even with his inner indecision, he looked perfectly happy.

"I missed you too." I said finally. Both the incapacitating numbness and the hot searing pain had receded and it their place all that was left was a constant dull ache; and somehow, having Rick sitting so close and looking so happy that I would simply talk to him, made even that seem less significant.

Those four little words seemed to end the argument he was having with himself; he gathered me into his arms and pulled me close. "God Lucky, when I heard you scream in the yard that day…" He stopped for a second and caressed my face while his own twisted into a testament of pure sorrow. "I thought it was you." He finally said. "I thought it was you and…" He stopped again, choking on the words.

"And here I've been wishing it was." I said softly, immediately ashamed that I'd allowed the words to escape.

"No." He said angrily. "Don't ever say that again." He pulled me back up into a sitting position so that my eyes were level with his. "Do you understand me? Do not ever even think that again."

I nodded. "I still have things to live for." I told him without even realizing I was saying it.

"Damn fucking straight you do." He said and pulled me back down against him. "God, don't ever say that again. I just don't think I could make it if I lost you."

"Rick…" I started, desperate for him to do something, anything to take the pain away.

He stared questioningly into my eyes. I think he finally understood, sweeping me into a hard desperate kiss and letting me forget, if only for a moment.

The door suddenly flew open and Songbird walked in, chattering as she stepped toward us, "Hey, I was supposed to be on watch with Freddy and I can't find him anywhere. I was wondering if he was…oh." She stopped dead in her tracks and blinked at us for a moment. "Functioning… it's good to see you're functioning! If I had known…" She started to turn back around. "I'll just look for Freddy on my own… you guys… you just continue to function…"

"Shut up, Songbird." She did, starting to move more quickly to leave us alone. "Wait. You can't find Freddy?" She shook her head. "When was the last time anyone saw him?"

"I saw him going to the barn earlier while me and Daryl were walking Michelangelo. We came back inside before he came out though." She answered.

"To tell the truth, he hasn't really been much better than you this week; I don't think anyone has really been able to talk to him lately." Rick explained.

"Shit!" I got up and ran out of the room, leaving them there looking after me.  
>Freddy has never been the most stable person. He went crazy and killed that entire gang when he found them taking advantage of me; I could barely imagine what he would do now that he thought we were to blame. I only hoped that I could get there in time.<p>

I shoved the barn door open, praying that Freddy had stopped to think about what he was doing, or that I was wrong. Maybe he would be standing there, filling a bucket with goat feed and he would look at me like I was an idiot and we would laugh about it once I'd explained why I looked so worried. Maybe.

Or maybe not.

He was standing on a stack of hay bales with a noose already looped over his neck. I heard Songbird gasp behind me, but anything else she said or did was lost in a wave of anger washing over me.

"Frederick McKensie, you get your ass down here, right now." I hissed.

"Oh, and she finally speaks." He said sarcastically.

"Don't do this." I pleaded, letting the fury ebb away. All I wanted was for him to stay alive. Him to stay with me. "I need you, Freddy."

"You don't need me." He nodded his head at Rick and Songbird where they stood behind me. "You have plenty of people who can take care of you now."

"Screw them!" I stomped my foot in true tantrum form. "You are my family, Fred. The only family I fucking have left!"

"I don't want to end up as some mindless corpse, Lucy." His voice cracked as he said my name. "I don't have anything left. This is the only option I have."

"You have me, Freddy. I'm here." I heard my voice shaking; tears were falling freely down my face now. "I am here."

"Are you?" He spat. "You've been hiding in your room, lost to the world. Maybe I needed you, Lucky." There was a darkness in his eyes that I had never seen before.

"I'm here now." I cried. "I am so sorry! This was all my fault and I…" I fell to my knees. "I should have been there with you… for you." My head dropped to the floor and I heard myself start to sob. God, I just wanted the pain to stop. Maybe Freddy had the right idea.

I stayed like that, crying and hating myself for God knows how long; finally I felt arms around me. I looked up and Freddy was kneeling over me.

"It wasn't your fault." He whispered. "God, I want to hate you." He laid his cheek on my hair. "I just can't do it though. Damn you for being so likable!"

"I love you too, big brother." I said softly.

It took me three days to 'Freddy proof' the house; I'd locked up all of the weapon cases, hid the shells and ammunition, scheduled the watch duty so that he wouldn't be up in the top of the tower any time soon and gathered all of Rooster's 'just in case' caches of cyanide pills. I had the pile of baggies filled with the little white pills sitting in front of me, staring off into space when I heard the door to the command center open.

Dale walked in and took in the scene with a bemused smirk on his face. "I know things have been bad, but I think that is kind of overkill, don't you?"

"Meh. Unlike Freddy, if I'm going to do it, I am going to do it right." I rolled my eyes. "I was just thinking about what to do with these."

"Destroying them would be a good place to start." He offered.

"Yeah, sure. But what if, say, there is a situation… you know, where you want an easy way out." I countered.

"Hmm, I see what you mean." He sat down beside me and stared at the little bundles of sacks. "I guess you could lock them up with the ammunition."

"I suppose that will have to do for now." I pushed the pile away from me, not wanting to look at it anymore. "I feel like such a loser for taking this all so badly. I know I am not the first person to lose…everybody. Almost everybody…" I cut myself off, knowing I was starting to ramble.

"Yeah, Andrea had a hard time losing Amy; and that wasn't too long ago. I think she is just now really getting over it." He let out a soft sigh. "These things take time."

"I'm still a loser." I muttered.

"Loserism is in the eye of the beholder." He shrugged.

We sat there in companionable silence for a while; it was nice to not be expected to talk after all of the prodding lately. When the CB crackled, it made me jump. I stumbled over to it and listened, turning the volume up.

"It almost sounded like someone was on the air, didn't it?" I asked.

"Did you leave it on?" Dale asked in response.

"I guess Daddy must have, I don't remember anyone else messing with it." I said and stared intently at the speaker, hoping to force a voice from it with my mind.

Nothing happened. We sighed, giving up on it after a minute or two.

I started gathering up the cyanide, thinking I had a good hiding place for it when finally a voice rang out loud and clear. "Rooster? James?"


	11. Chapter 11

"Rooster? James?" The voice repeated. "This is Mack down at Area Three. Hello? Does anyone copy?" It went on.

I grabbed at the microphone and flipped it on. "This is Lucky number seven. I read you, come back."

"Mercy! It's good to hear your voice sweet thing! We've been wondering if the Rooster's forty-fours were gonna make it home." Came the reply. "Are your dads around? Over."

I felt that familiar wave of sadness rush over me as I thought of how to answer that. "Sorry Mack. They, uh, they didn't make it. Over." I wiped away the tear trailing down my face, determined to keep my head where it needed to be.

"I sure am sorry to hear that, hon. The boys over here are going to be devastated. We figured if anyone was gonna make it, they'd be the ones to do it. How are you holding up? Over." Mack replied.

"As well as expected, Mack." I said as Dale grabbed my attention and pointed at the map on the wall. "You say you're in Area three? Who all do you have in your camp? Over."

Mack told me that they had about twenty people over in Area three and that Area two only had three. From what I could tell, we were better off than both of the other groups, despite our recent tragedy. Area two's numbers had been decimated by an attack not long ago and they were desperately looking for a way to get somewhere with fresh water and food; Area three's condition was pretty similar to ours, but without a working farm and the limited food supply was taking its toll.

I felt for them, I didn't recognize any of the names from Area two, but many of the guys in Area three used to go on hunting trips with me and my family in summers past. I realized that I wouldn't be able to sit back and do nothing while they all starved to death; but I doubted that there would be much I could do without evoking some resistance from the rest of the group. Half of them had children of their own to worry about, and I sure as hell couldn't see Rick letting me out of his sight anywhere in the near future.

"We have to do _something_." I mumbled to myself, half forgetting that Dale was sitting next to me.

"Well" he said, startling me out of my reverie. "Area two is about thirty miles to the south, and Mack said they've been fighting off walkers everyday for the last month; I doubt we'd be able to do much good there." His hand roamed over the ink splattered map and he pinpointed the other group, tapping his finger on the spot while he thought. "Area three is only twelve miles to the west."

"We could probably stand to lose a few chickens. A goat maybe?" I suggested, hoping to take advantage of having such a generous ally with me at the moment. "It wouldn't me much to hitch up a small trailer to one of the bikes…"

Dale snorted. "Don't even think of suggesting that you could run it over yourself. I don't want to deal with 'monster' Rick again."

"Was he really that bad?" I asked, feeling guilty for being such a loser again.

"Let's just say it wasn't fun having him worry about you." He hedged, obviously not wanting me to feel bad.

"Fine, but I would like to be one of the party…" I began again.

"I think this is something that the group has to discuss as a whole, don't you? I mean, it will affect everyone, after all." He said gently.

I nodded vaguely and turned back to the radio. "Hey Mack, when do you think you'll be back on the air again? Over."

"We usually check the channel everyday at about midday. Over." Was the reply.

"Right. I guess I'll be talking to you tomorrow then. Here's looking at you. Over." I told him.

"Ten-four little lady. Boy, Abrahm sure is going to get a kick out of this when he gets back from his hunt. Eighty-eights around the house. Clear after you, over."

"Well, that was interesting." Dale said with a smile.

"Very informative." I agreed giving him a grin of my own. "Shall we gather the others?"

"Sounds good to me…" He said with a sly glance my way. "sweet thing."

I rolled my eyes and followed him out the door.

The conversation went pretty much the way I had seen it in my head; Dale and I had just given the details of our radio chat with Mack when Lori interrupted.

"And why do we need to go anywhere?" she asked, in a worse mood than usual, I noted.

"These are good people! I've known most of them since I was a toddler, I am not about to let them starve! Not that being a stranger would stop me from helping Area two if I knew we could do it without risking lives." I countered, getting more aggressive than I usually did in these kinds of conversations; I couldn't believe anyone could just sit back while others were hurting. "What if it were us? Wouldn't you want someone to help, no matter how little it was?"

"I agree. We would want help if we were in the same situation, and we have plenty to give." Dale asserted.

Glenn, T-dog and Shane all nodded in agreement.

"I think we can send a couple of men over, maybe see if they got anything to offer in return." Shane shrugged.

"We can do an inventory on our supplies and see what we can afford to give away. I think we could be ready to go by tomorrow morning." Rick decided, then turned to me and put a warm hand on my arm. "Look, baby, we all know that your heart is in this, and I agree that we should help, but I don't think that you are…" Rick started.

"Oh no!" I interrupted. "Don't you dare say that I am not going to go!"

"You've been sick, I just don't think that in your condition…" He began.

"My condition?" I asked "Really, Rick? I was sad. I'm fine now and I am going."

"Like hell you are!" He raised his voice held my arm a little tighter. "I'm not going to lose you right after I just got you back!"

"Are you going?" I asked in an even, calculated tone.

"What?" The question seemed to throw him off guard.

"Are you going?" I repeated.

"Are you saying that you don't want me to?" He asked in a soft voice. Damn him! He was ruining my plan. "Because, I think I can do more good out there than here." Bingo!

"So do I." I agreed. "But don't think I am the kind of woman that is going to sit and worry while I wait for you to come home. I'm coming with you."

He stood there flabbergasted for a long moment. Freddy laughed and slapped him on the back. "I do believe you have your hands full with this one, Rick. I can't tell you how many times she pulled that on me when we were kids. Well, not that exactly, but it was pretty…"

"Shut up Freddy." Was all Rick said before giving a deep defeated sigh. "I guess it won't be too dangerous if we all go in the truck." He raised his eyebrows at Daryl who just nodded, probably hoping that Songbird didn't try to pull the same tricks on him. "Just don't think that I am going to let you out of my sight for a second while we're out there." He said when he turned back to me.

"I would never dream of it." I smiled innocently and he sighed again, but wrapped his arms around me as a smile played on his lips.

"So are we bringing a bunch of strays home or are we just giving away all of our food?" Daryl drawled.

Rick let me go and turned to give Daryl an exasperated look.

Songbird stepped in front of Daryl and thrust a determined fist in the air. "And if Lucky is going I am going too whether you go or not!" She pointed at me and winked.

"Oh I'm going." Daryl rolled his eyes. "I'm just saying it's a bad idea."

"Oh Daryl, stop being such a drama queen." Songbird patted his arm.

"Well we need to decide who stays and who wants to go." Dale suggested.

"I'm going." Both me and Songbird said at the same time.

"We know." Daryl and Rick groaned in unison.

I spent the rest of the night going through the barn and packing up chickens in a makeshift wire cage. I lingered over the goats, making the hard decision of which one to send along with the fowl. I finally just grabbed one of the nannies that had just freshened and shoved her into the cage Freddy had made. When I reentered the house I was covered in chicken squat and feathers.

Rick started to put his arm around me but quickly changed his mind after taking a good look at me. He scrunched up his nose as he said, "Baby, you need a shower." Then a smile spread across his face. "Want me to join you?"

"Because you don't have anywhere else to be right now." I teased, pretending that I was going to touch him with my poo covered hands.

He backed away with a mock horrified look on his face. "I'm sure they can manage without me for a while."

I gave him a goofy grin, still not quite used to this feeling he stirred up in me. "Give me a couple of minutes to rinse this crap off of me."

I shook my head while he stood just on the other side of the shower curtain, dancing from one foot to the other while he waited impatiently while I soaped up. I took my time, making sure I got every speck of evidence that I had been in the barn off of me before he finally threw the curtain aside and shoved me against the wall.

"Damn it woman, I've been waiting for almost two weeks for this!" He snarled into my ear as he pulled my leg up around his waist and rubbed his palm over my pussy. "I'm sure as hell not going to wait any more."

I gasped when I felt him thrust his finger into me, grabbing onto his hair to hold myself steady as his thumb traced circles around my throbbing clit. "Oh fucking God, Rick!" I moaned into his neck. I had needed this and my body was hell bent on showing me just how much. Every touch was magnified by about a million and that was about to send me right over the edge.

I almost screamed at him when his hand came to an abrupt stop, but he just calmly turned the water off and wrapped me in one of my bright pink towels. "I thought you said you couldn't wait anymore." I muttered as I stalked past him into my bed room.

He just chuckled and followed me out of the bathroom. I let the towel fall to the floor and started to climb into bed, but he grabbed me by the hips and pulled me against him. His chest was warm and damp against my back and for some reason that turned me on.

It may have had something to do with the way he murmured how much he loved me into my ear, or how his hands were massaging my ass. I found myself arching my back so that it was flush against his already hardened cock; he drew in a sharp breath and I knew that he was thinking along the same lines that I was.

"Put it in." I purred, causing him to nearly double over on top of me.

"What?" He asked between ragged breaths.

"Put it in my ass." I repeated as I rubbed my cheeks up and down over his prone cock.

"I…uh…are you sure?" He sputtered excitedly.

"Uh-huh." I moaned as I leaned over the bed and looked back at him over my shoulder. "Please." I drawled.

He seemed to have completely lost his train of thought for a second, staring at me with slack jawed awe before shaking himself out of it and running to my bed stand to grab some lube out of my 'special drawer'.

"Uh, go slow." I said in a moment of clarity that vanished the second he put his hands back on me.

"I'll try." He promised in a shaky voice while he rubbed the slippery liquid onto himself.

And he did try; I could feel how difficult it was for him to hold back as he slid into me. All I could think at first was that I was an idiot and that this was a really bad idea. God, it hurt. Of course, I didn't want to tell him that, but I think he already knew.

"You should try to relax." He told me while he slipped his hand down to stroke my still wet pussy. The further in he pushed himself, the better it started to feel and I surprised myself by letting out a moan of pleasure. I backed into him, grabbing the coverlet on my bed as he started pounding into me.

My nipples rubbed against the blanket, adding to the mounting pleasure. "Oh God Lucky." Rick rasped. "Squeeze me, baby." He begged; I did and was amazed at the intensity of the orgasm that followed. I screamed out his name, burying my head in my mattress to muffle the continuing shouts of satisfaction. Rick gave a few more determined thrusts before he came, collapsing on top of me for a long moment.

He nuzzled my neck before he got up and went into the bathroom. I stayed where I was, wondering what had come over me. I had never in a million years thought that I would be begging for… well… for that. And God, I never thought that it would feel like that!

I sighed just as Rick plopped down on the bed beside me. "That was…" He started.

"I know. God that was amazing!" I finished for him.

"You really liked it?" He asked, looking genuinely shocked.

"I can't believe it felt that good either, but yeah. It may have just been the best thing ever!" I smiled.

"God, I love you!" He said with the biggest grin on his face as he pulled me close.

The next morning, Rick, Freddy and I were packing up all of the supplies in the bed of Daryl's truck when Daryl came out of the cabin looking a little shaken. He walked up to me and glanced back at the house guiltily, like he expected someone to come behind him and ruin all of his plans.

"What's up Daryl?" I asked.

"You know how Songbird thinks she's goin' with us?" He started.

"Yeah…" Aww, poor Songbird, I could see where this was going.

"Well, she ain't." He said bluntly.

"Okay. Not her decision I take it?" I questioned sarcastically.

"Her decision was to let me keep her safe." He snarled back. I guess he was feeling a bit defensive about making her stay behind.

"Well then…" I began.

"Look, I just thought y'all oughtta know." He started to walk away.

"What happened since last night to make you decide to keep the Songbird in her cage?" Rick asked from behind me.

"Ain't none of yer damn business!" Daryl yelled over his shoulder.

"Geez, who spat in your oatmeal this morning?" I muttered.

"Look, I just didn't get much sleep last night." He turned around, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Aww, did you have a bad dweam ickle Dawyl?" I teased; but to my surprise the look on his face confirmed my jests.

"Look, she ain't goin' and that's that." He spat and turned and actually walked away.

"Would it make any difference if I said I had a terrible nightmare that …" Rick started.

"Nope. Not one little bit." I cut in before he could finish.

"Oh. Well. It was worth a try." He shrugged with a half grin.

The trip was relatively event free on the way to Area three. Rick and I were crammed in the back with the livestock and supplies while Freddy rode shotgun; the window was down and I could hear Fred's failed attempts to make conversation with Daryl.

"So…" He started.

"So what?" Daryl barked back.

"So, nice truck you have here." Freddy said awkwardly.

"Yep." Was the only response Daryl deigned to give.

"Yeah, it's nice. Got a hatch on the back and everything. Something like this would sure come in handy out on the road, eh?" Freddy tried again.

"Yeah well, I'm still alive." Daryl said shortly.

"Yeah. Good thing too. Who else would be there to put Songbird in her place if you weren't around." Freddy muttered, giving up on trying to be nice.

"What business is it of yours what I do with her?" Was the sharp reply. I shook my head, why did they always have to do this?

"I guess it ain't." Freddy spat in a mock southern accent. "I just think that you should treat her like an adult. S'all I'm saying."

"Maybe you oughtta keep your thoughts to yourself. If you know what's good for you." Daryl snarled, taking the truck into a sharp turn as he turned to point at my brother.

"Maybe you both ought to shut up and watch the road." Rick snapped, picking up a pile of blankets that had toppled over into my lap.

The rest of the trip was relatively quiet, with the exception of the goat who seemed to be extremely upset that Rick wouldn't let her eat the blankets.

Area three turned out to be a fortified shopping center in a small historic downtown district. There was a bakery on one corner, an army navy surplus store on the other and an old timey type general store sandwiched between. All of the buildings had an extra story over the shops, I assumed they were either apartments or used for storage, both options would be pretty helpful in the current situation.

"Man, they had the best scones! Do you remember that Lucky?" Freddy smiled at me.

"Yeah. And that apple cider they had at the end of every summer." I said and my belly growled at me to shut up or eat something.

"Think they have any left?" Freddy said with a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"Right. It will be just like old times, maybe we can even sit in our old booth." I rolled my eyes at him.

There was a shuffle of movement as the door to the army-navy surplus store opened and a couple of guys jogged out toward us.

"Mack just got the transmission that you were coming up this morning!" One of the guys said as he pulled down the tailgate. "Hey Lucky! You're looking good! As always." He smirked at me and I just shook my head.

"Hey Ryan. I see you haven't changed." Freddy called as he jumped out of the cab of the truck.

"Yeah, you'd think I would have learned to lay off flirting with your sister. Everybody knows she belongs to Abrahm." Ryan told him with a heavy sigh.

"It's not like you could have forgotten, he only talks about her every fucking day." The other guy, who I didn't recognize, laughed.

"I, uh, I'm not familiar with this Abrahm fellow, but I'm going to have to break some bad news to him when I do run into him." Rick said with a firm arm around my waist.

"Don't worry baby, I can tell him myself." I gave him a kiss, making sure that everybody knew exactly who I belonged to.

"Shit. I plan to be on the other side of the compound when that news gets out." The guy I didn't know laughed and grabbed some of the stuff out of the truck. We all followed suit and started unpacking the bed of the truck.

Once we got inside, we could see just how much work they had put into the place, some of the walls had been torn down and the salvaged materials had been used to reinforce the outside walls. The only way in seemed to be the door to the army-navy store. I hoped there was another exit, just in case.

I saw Mack making his way toward us with his arms open wide in welcome. "I wish you would have told us you were coming!" His deep voice boomed.

"Well, who doesn't like surprises?" I grinned at the old man.

"The good kind, little girl. And this is pretty much the best we can get right about now!" He wrapped his arms around me in a big bear hug that pulled my feet up off the ground. "What did you bring for us?"

Freddy talked them through the supplies we had brought and I looked around, admiring what they had done to the place.


	12. Chapter 12

Mack took us into the bakery to meet everyone who'd gathered in their compound. His wife, Marnie, greeted us with a warm hug. "God had his eye on you two." She chuckled. "Especially this one," She poked Freddy in the ribs. "You always did have a knack for getting into trouble."

"Honestly, one night in jail and no one ever lets you forget it." He complained with his arm still around Marnie's shoulder.

"And why should I?" She chided. "The messes you got my boys into…"

Freddy rolled his eyes. "Your boys were the ones in front half the time."

"It's true." I added. "They dragged us all over the place looking for new ways to be nuisances."

Marnie gave me a look, one of those patronizing smiles that people give when they think their experience means they know better than you. "All that work to impress you," she shook her head. "And I suppose you think it didn't even work, but here you are. We'll see once my Abrahm gets back from his hunt."

I put on my most polite smile I could muster; Marnie let us go and presented us to the rest of the room. We were familiar with most of them –

there were the Barton boys, Joey and Pete;

Ron Kent and his son Will;

Everett and Eli Rockwell and their mom, Sylvia;

And of course Mack and Marnie's younger son, Ryan,

then there were a few people I'd never met before-

a lady that followed us in from the general store named Vicky;

an ex-soldier, Quenton Ross and his wife, Tori;

and a young mother who been crying silently since we walked in called Lilith with three little ones clinging to her, Jonas, Stephie and Martin.

"Well let's not stand on ceremony, lunch is ready; let's eat." Mack told us.

There were four or five tables pushed together to make one big family style dining table set with clean flatware and a meager feast of bread and vegetables that had obviously come from cans. Most of the older folks and Lilith's family sat at the big table; the younger guys spread themselves out in the booths that were still bolted to the walls. I found a seat across from the Bartons and Freddy; Rick scooted in beside me, wrapping a possessive arm around my shoulder.

"The more I hear about this Abrahm fellow, the less I like." He whispered in my ear.

I choked back a laugh. "You aren't seriously being jealous right now, are you?"

"Well, everybody here seems to think you belong to him…" He began defensively.

"Then everybody here is wrong." I rolled my eyes. "In another life, I might have settled for him; but I didn't have to settle, did I?"

"What are you two whisperin' about?" Daryl asked as he sat down beside Rick.

"Nothin'" I said in my best southern drawl. Nope, it didn't sound good so I just gave up. "Where have you been?"

"What is it about women that makes them not know when to shut up?" He complained in return.

"Geez, sorry." I muttered. "Try to make a little conversation…"

"I wasn't talkin' about you." He snapped.

"Oh." I said, confused.

"He just got caught up talking to Vicky." Joey smirked. "She thinks she's too good to do 'women's work'; been trying to talk shop with the men." He snickered.

"A 'modern woman' is what she called herself." Pete joined in. "Pfft. She was a librarian!" He guffawed. "God Lucky, you should have seen her when she first got here! Just the look on her face!"

"I can't even figure out how she made it." Joey shook his head. "Or how she manages to still look like she has a stick shoved up her ass."

"Huh." I said, cocking my head to one side. "Maybe there is more to her than you give her credit for." I offered.

"I doubt it." Daryl said with a finality that made me raise my eyebrows.

Joey and Pete thought it was a good enough end to the talk about Vicky, turning the conversation toward me.

"So…" Pete drawled.

"So what?" I asked, taking a page out of Daryl Dixon's book of etiquette technique.

"So, you two?" Joey questioned. Pointing at me and Rick with the back of his fork.

"Yeah, us two." Rick answered, squeezing my shoulders.

"Well, dang Lucky!" Joey said between bites. "That' just not fair."

"Really!" Pete agreed. "All those years with us to keep you company, then this guy just comes in and…"

"Aww, is somebody jealous?" Freddy teased. "Maybe she was just waiting for somebody good enough for her." The brothers appraised Rick carefully before shrugging at each other. I just shook my head and ate the rest of my beans.

"Abrahm! You're back!" Marnie called and got up from the table as her oldest son walked into the room, followed by a couple of my dads' old hunting buddies.

"How was the hunt? Did you bring anything good back?" Mack asked.

"A couple of deer and a few wild turkeys." He answered before turning and pointing through the door way. "Where did all of that stuff come from?"

He glanced around the room as he asked; his gaze finally coming to rest on me as his father explained that we had brought the extra supplies. He raked his fingers through his jet black hair as a smile spread over his face. I looked down, embarrassed and not looking forward to the conversation I knew was bound to happen, probably sooner than later.

"Hey Abrahm!" Freddy called out, getting up to greet his best friend. "God, it's good to see you alive!"

"You too, Fred!" Abrahm told him, walking over to us and never taking his eyes off of me. "Hey Lucky." He whispered as he reached our booth.

"Hey Abrahm." I smiled up at him, genuinely happy to see him alive. Next to Freddy, he had been my best friend growing up and we'd had a good thing going until he decided to ruin it by 'falling in love with me'. Not that I'd ever believed he was actually in love, considering how many other chicks he'd banged while he was 'waiting for me to come around', but he had always been there for me when I'd needed him.

"It's good to see you." He said, still speaking softly.

"Yeah, Daddy never even told me that you guys were out here." I told him. "This is Rick and that's Daryl." I put my hand on Rick's leg as I introduced them, hoping that we could just skip over the unpleasantness and go back to being friends.

He stood there for a second, his mossy green eyes lingering on my hand before he greeted them. "Good to meet you." He said, offering his hand for Daryl to shake. "Nice to know there are others out there surviving."

"Come get something to eat, honey." Marnie called and he nodded once before going to sit at the big table.

There was a bit of confusion as I let the men decide whether we were going to stay the night or not. Freddy said that he wasn't in any big hurry and for the most part, I agreed. Marnie went ahead and made us up a place to sleep. I noted how she put my pallet as far from Rick's as she possibly could.

Mack took Rick aside to talk about the current situation in the area; Daryl gravitated over to them and I could see him moving his arms around creating an invisible scene in the air in front of him. Huh, I'd never really seen him get so involved in a conversation; I wondered what they were talking about, but the guys had drawn me into an argument over the most epic hunting trip ever.

"Nah, that buck Eli got three summers ago must have gone five miles after being shot in the gut. That has to make it more impressive than anything, no matter how big the rack was." Will was shouting.

"Dude, Pete shot that one in the head and it just kept going, remember that?" Everett nudged Pete in the ribs.

Abrahm stepped in beside me and smiled. I smiled back, but I was still trying to keep my distance so I moved closer to Freddy who was arguing the virtues of a kill I'd made a few years back.

"Come here, I want to show you something." He said with a nod toward one of the back rooms.

"What is it?" I asked, not wanting to be alone with him and have that awkward conversation I was dreading.

"Remember that generator we'd always talked about?" He whispered, his eyes glinting with excitement.

"Our self perpetuating electromagnetic generator?" I queried in a hushed tone, getting giddy with enthusiasm myself.

"Exactly!" He said with a smug grin.

"What the hell are we standing around for then?" I shoved him toward the door. He led the way down a short hall and opened a door with a grand gesture for me to walk in first. I stepped around the generator, admiring the precision of movement that the magnet had created. "I hate you for making this first, you know that right?"

"Well, I kinda hate that Rick guy for the way he lays his hands all over you." Was his response.

"So this is what you wanted to get me alone for?" I asked, angry that he couldn't even pretend to look at our brain-baby before jumping right into complaining about Rick. "And it was me who had my hands on him, if I recall correctly."

"Then it's true?" He leaned against the wall sulkily. "You two are together?"

"Yeah, we are." Was all I said.

"He doesn't know you like I do," Abrahm's tone had changed; it was lower, determined. "We both survived. Don't you think that means something?" He took a couple of steps toward me and I backed up into the wall, not liking the hard look in his eyes.

"He knows me well enough." I countered. "Please don't do this." Suddenly very aware of just how alone we were and how close he was standing to me now.

"But you were meant to be with me, you were always supposed to be with me." He ran his finger down my face.

I jerked away and tried to push past him, but he pinned my shoulders against the wall. "Let me go, Abrahm."

"You loved me too." He said in a faraway tone, grabbing onto the collar of my shirt and ripping it down the front. I grasped at the pieces and tried to make them meet in the middle. "You can't tell me you didn't love me too."

I did my best to shove him away but he had always been muscular, I should never have let myself get into this position. "Get off me!" I yelled, hoping to get someone's attention. "Stop!"

Abrahm seemed to be beyond words; he threw me to the ground and I felt something in my shoulder crack. Then he was over me, pulling my corduroys down before yanking my bra from my chest.

I could barely comprehend what was happening, it was all I could do to keep trying to kick him off of me without giving him anymore of an advantage than he already had. I could feel the tears running down my face as I pleaded for him to stop. It took me a minute to realize that I could have been yelling for help this whole time. "Help!" I screamed just before the door swung open.

I had never been so happy to see Freddy in my life. "Help me Freddy." I pleaded.

I could see the scene computing on Freddy's face; in a moment he was pulling Abrahm off of me and shoving him against the wall where I had been not even five minutes ago.

"What the fuck?" He shouted while he slammed his fist into Abrahm's jaw.

I pulled myself into as much of a sitting position as I could, but I could barely move my arm without an alarming amount of pain; I half crawled and half scooted as far away from the men as I could manage before I noticed Rick standing in the doorway.

"What's going on in…" He began before I caught his attention and his face contorted in fury and he pushed Freddy out of the way.

With his first instincts satisfied, Freddy knelt beside me and took off the button up he was wearing and tried to cover me up with it but I called out in pain when he tried to put my right arm in the sleeve. I could hear Rick yelling something as Abrahm sagged to the floor but Freddy grabbed my attention again. "Your shoulder is dislocated." He growled, getting ready to pull it back into place.

"No! I can't stand it!" I cried out.

"We have to fix it." He told me soothingly.

"It hurts, Freddy! It hurts too much!" I wailed.

Daryl had joined Rick by giving Abrahm's lower half some attention with the heel of his boots. I turned away, unable to stand it anymore and wanting to be somewhere else. Anywhere else.

"You plannin' on killin' him?" Daryl asked and I almost laughed at the deadpan casual tone of his voice, but Freddy had finally gotten a firm grip on me and was trying to lay me back so he could fix my shoulder.

"What the hell is this?" Ryan shouted as he tried to pry Rick off of his brother. The rest of the group followed in on his heels and it took most of our friends to finally pull him away.

I didn't get to see what happened after that because Freddy took the moment of confusion to pop my shoulder back into place and I screamed in agony. I buried my face into his chest as a string of obscenities flew out of my mouth, if I'd had the strength to hit him, he would probably be looking a lot like Abrahm.

Well, maybe not. There was a pool of blood seeping out from under his unconscious body. I could see that he was still breathing and that Rick had obviously taken pains not to kill him because his face was still mostly intact. I felt cheated that I had not gotten the opportunity to cause any damage myself, not that I hadn't tried.

"Somebody needs to tell me what happened here, and they need to tell me now." Mack bellowed as he knelt down to check on his son.

I opened my mouth to speak, but the only thing that came out was a sob. Freddy wrapped his arms around me. "Maybe you should ask your son that when he comes to. I found him…" His voice trailed off as he tried to say the words.

Rick pushed past the others and scooped me up; I held him as tightly as I could and bawled into his shirt. "I think it's pretty obvious what happened here." He stated in a toneless voice before carrying me past the group and out of the room.

Rick set me down on something soft and ran his fingers over my hair. "I'm so sorry baby." He whispered, his voice full of all the emotion it was lacking seconds ago. "God, I'm so sorry."

We were only seated there for a moment before I heard footsteps and Vicky calling out "Don't leave me here!"

"I guess it's time for us to leave." Rick said, picking me back up and carrying me out to the truck, grabbing a couple of the blankets we had brought along the way. He took a few minutes to make a pallet while I sat on the tailgate and watched. I smiled at him when he finally decided it was good enough. "What?" He asked, looking confused that I could have anything to smile about right now.

"You." I told him. "I have you."

The others joined us after another fifteen minutes or so and I gave Freddy a questioning look as Vicky climbed into the cab of the truck. "She didn't want to stay." Was the only explanation I received. It was as good a reason as any other I guessed and let it drop.

Daryl turned the ignition and looked at us through the rearview mirror to ask if we wanted to go on a supply run, "unless you just wanna go home Lucky." He said so compassionately I was taken aback a little; but the last thing I wanted was to have to explain my new injuries to anyone else.

"Nah, we're already out here; might as well make good use of our fuel, right?" I mumbled, my voice was hoarse, making me sound as sick as I felt.

"That's what I thought too." Daryl nodded and put the truck in gear.

We stopped at a strip mall that was situated about half way between Area three and our compound; it had a toy store, an apparel boutique and a jewelry 'emporium' sandwiched between a book shop and a Walgreens. I thought that we would just hit the Walgreens and head out, but Daryl mentioned something about the kids and Christmas so we took a look through the toys first.

In any other circumstances the trip might have been fun, but my spirits were at an all time low so I just stayed at the door keeping watch in case we had any unwelcome visitors. I hated that Abrahm had taken the joy out of looting for me, that bastard!

I doubled over, trying desperately to lose my lunch somewhere out of the way and failing pretty miserably. Smacking myself in the head, I scolded myself for being so weak again; nothing even really fucking happened. Nothing except that all of my happy childhood memories with my best friends were now tainted. Fuck you, Abrahm!

The others made their way back to the front of the store, Rick wrapped his arm around me and steered me toward the book shop. I could hear Vicky behind me groaning as she stepped over the place I had been sick complaining how unladylike my behavior was. Freddy and Daryl snarled for her to keep her mouth shut in unison.

The smell of the book store lifted my spirits just a smidgen and Rick led me over to the comic books, stopping to pick up a few at random.

"Are those for Carl?" I asked.

"Yeah, he always liked them; it's how he learned to read." He said handing me the ones he'd chosen.

I flipped through them and shook my head. "I don't think that the Punisher or Spawn are exactly right for how old he is do you?"

"What's wrong with them?" He asked with a smile, seeming happy that I could talk about normal things with him.

"Vigilante justice with lethal force, is that something you want him learning from comics?" I answered him with a question of my own.

"Hmm, maybe not." He put them back on the shelves. "What would you suggest?"

"Captain America? Or Thor!" I grabbed the latest editions off the rack and handed them to him. "See, he can learn about other cultures and science at the same time." I said with just the slightest bit of sarcasm.

"Uh huh." He grinned and put them in his pack. I browsed through the nonfiction and pulled a couple of memoirs to add to my own collection before we headed out.

We were on our way to the Walgreens when Daryl stopped outside the jewelry store. "Oh let's go in!" Vicky gushed, stepping over the broken glass before we had a chance to respond.

I looked around in the smashed cases for something I might like or something for Songbird. God knows Daryl needed the help. I was about to suggest a sapphire set that had a bracelet, a delicate filigree cross pendant on a slender platinum chain and earrings- all embellished with little clusters of diamonds, when Freddy started teasing Daryl about wedding plans. The thought of having something normal like that turned my stomach again and I moved closer to the door, just in case.

Rick joined me after a few minutes and I muttered that we should move on, getting anxious at how quiet this place was. It didn't feel _right_ at all.

The guys had to rip a few boards away from the door in order for us to even get into the Walgreens, making me feel even more wary over the eerie silence. Was someone trying to keep something out or something in?

Nevertheless, the shelves were still fully stocked when we finally made our way in. I made my way over to the pharmacy and found some painkillers, sedatives and a slew of depression meds that I thought I would try out until I could forget the worst of the details from the last few weeks.

Rick was standing outside the door when I came out. "You okay?" He asked, eyeing the plethora of meds filling my bag.

"No." I said simply and walked past him to pick up some feminine supplies and some girly body washes, shampoos and conditioners and spa stuff to restock my bathroom with. I lingered and picked out some stuff for Rick too, it was his bathroom too now, after all.

"Actually, I prefer suave." He murmured from behind me.

"But Old Spice just smells so good." I whined, throwing a couple of bottles of Suave shampoos into my bag anyway.

"Well, I guess that's what really matters then." He pulled the new additions out of my bag and put them back on the shelf, then he cocked his head. "Did you hear that?"

I did. It was a very distinctive sound that made me instinctively unshoulder my bow and drop my bag as I grabbed an arrow out of my quiver and nocked it. "We should get out of here." I whispered.

Rick picked my bag up and shoved it into his backpack. "Come on." He backed away from the door that was making the offending shuffling and scratching noises, putting himself between it and me.

"We're leaving." I hissed at the others, hoping not to attract any more attention. My senses were in overdrive and every little movement or sound had me flinching and pointing my arrow in its direction.

"What is it?" Freddy asked when he caught up with us.

"The store room door back there," Rick jerked his head in its direction while still trying to put distance between it and us. "Looks like this place was boarded up for a reason."

"Shit." Freddy motioned for the others to get out. "Let's go."

"Wait, I just need to use the ladies' room before we go." Vicky said defiantly, rushing back to the very door we had just deemed unsafe.

"Vicky no!" I called as she opened it.

"Fuckin' hell woman!" Daryl called as he let a bolt fly from his crossbow, catching a walker between the eyes just before it grabbed ahold of Vicky's arm.

He had to take a minute to reload so I shot the next two as they limped through the door. "Get out of there." Rick yelled as he circled his arms around my waist and pulled me out of the building. He pushed me into the cab of the truck and slammed the door shut before he and Freddy scrambled into the back.

_What the hell was taking them so long_ I wondered; using every ounce of willpower I had to stay in the truck and not run back in for them. Finally, after what seemed like ages, Daryl ran out of the Walgreens, dragging a bewildered Vicky behind him. He threw her into the bed of the truck and slammed the tailgate closed before jumping into the driver's seat and peeling out of the parking lot with a deafening screech of tires on asphalt.

"Don't you dare breathe a word of this to Songbird." Daryl ordered between ragged breaths.

"Are you hurt? I asked softly, wondering what had happened in there.

"No." He snapped before realizing who he was talking to. "I didn't get bit, if that is what you're asking." He amended a little more gently.

"I… thank you Daryl." Vicky said shakily through the window before Daryl slammed it shut.

"I take it you and the delicate Miss Vicky are not the best of friends then?" I teased.

"I'm gonna kill your brother for suggestin' we bring her along." He snarled.

"Don't hate Freddy." I whispered. "He might get under your skin, but please don't hate Freddy." I pleaded, gazing at Daryl and ignoring the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Aww, I don't hate him." He put his hand on my shoulder awkwardly. "I don't like him much, though."

"I can live with that." I said and laid my head on his shoulder. "I like you, you know." I told him through a yawn. "You're good for Songbird, even if you are a dirty redneck."

He let out a short laugh. "Uh, thanks. I think."


	13. Chapter 13

"Hey." Someone shook me gently. "We're home."

I opened my eyes and realized that I had fallen asleep on Daryl. He'd moved me so that his arm was draped across my shoulder at some point and was jiggling it now to wake me up. I sat up sleepily, not really in any kind of hurry and kind of sad that I was being evicted from my warm spot beside him and forced into the cold.

"Mmm," I stretched, well I tried to- the cab of a truck is hardly conductive to spreading one's self out. "Thanks Daryl. Sorry if I'm a clingy sleeper."

Was he blushing? "Nah, it's okay. I'm just glad I could help."

Rick came by and opened my door for me. "You okay?" He asked, wrapping his arms around me and giving Daryl a smile of gratitude.

"I think I will be once I…" I stopped and thought about what I was saying. "No. I'm not." That earned me a worried frown from everyone but Vicky who was too busy straightening he skirt to pay any attention to me. "I just want to go to bed, honey. I just want to lie down and let you hold me."

"I think I can arrange that." Rick said softly, tracing his finger along my jaw.

I smiled up at him, until one of his hands caught my eye. "Oh my God, baby! What happened to your hands?" The words were out of my mouth before I could think about them and I felt like an idiot as soon as they were. "I mean, I…"

"I'll be okay." He shushed me with a swollen finger to my lips. "Believe me, it was worth the pain."

"At least let me bandage them up…" I'd started when Vicky started to screech in terror, hiding behind Daryl as an overly excited Michelangelo bounded our way.

Daryl was trapped, Vicky wrapping herself around him from the back and Michelangelo in the front, with his paws on Daryl's shoulders, giving him big sloppy doggy kisses. Songbird was still attached to the rope she was walking him with, pulling on it pointlessly as the dog completely ignored her and Vicky continued to shriek.

"Someone needs to shut her up." I pointed out, looking around to see if she'd attracted any attention when Daryl roared. "Sit down!"

Michelangelo did, and to her ever living shame, so did Songbird. I just shook my head and face-palmed. Daryl began scolding her, grabbing the rope and pulling Songbird along with him while he left to chain the dog back up. I wouldn't have been surprised if it were all an act just to escape the clutches of Vicky.

"What is that child doing with an animal that size?" Vicky asked breathlessly as she straightened her clothes out once again. I was almost shocked that she still had a voice after that overly loud display. I was starting to warm up to Daryl's idea of killing Freddy for bringing that nuisance home with us.

"She's not a child. She's legal." I looked back at the three retreating figures as they walked to the barn. "I tend to wonder more often what she's doing with the redneck actually." Yeah, I might be friends with Daryl now, but that was no reason to give up perfectly good insults on his behalf.

Vicky looked at me like I was speaking gibberish. "What?"

"Yeah. She's Daryl's," hmm, what would I call her? "Well, she's Daryl's." I figured that's all that needed to be said. Rick put his hand on my arm and I helped him get our bags out of the back of the truck before we headed back to the house, leaving Vicky still staring after Daryl and Songbird.

Rick winced as I poured more hydrogen peroxide on his freshly cleaned hands. I just shook my head and tried to be a little gentler as I dabbed on some antiseptic ointment. "God Rick, there was that attack. What if one of them had touched you…" I trailed off, not wanting to get myself too worked up.

"But they didn't." He soothed. "We're fine."

"Yeah." I sighed as I finished wrapping his hands up. "I just…" I choked back a sob. Damn it! I'd always been so strong before; this stupid apocalypse was really ruining my style. "Promise me you won't die, Rick. Meeting you has been the best thing that has ever happened to me…"

He interrupted me with a kiss; a hard, rough kiss worthy of ending such a heartfelt speech. "Come on." He picked me up and carried me to our bed, laying me down gently before climbing in and pulling me close. "I love you, Lucky. That's all I can promise. To love you the best I know how."

Later, Rick had watch with Daryl so I went out to feed the livestock; I had just finished when I heard Freddy and Songbird in the storage room. I heard the words "wreaths", "bows" and squealing, making me decide to stay as far away as possible. They walked out carrying boxes labeled "Christmas" and I tried to make a getaway, but Songbird caught up with me surprisingly quickly.

"We're doing Christmas!" She exclaimed. I cringed a little on the inside. I was never the kind of girl that went all out on Christmas; I'd always thought that it should be a time for family and not all of the commercial hullaballoo that it's been turned into over the years. And now I didn't really have any family to spend it with, well I had Freddy… and Rick… and I guess Songbird… if I added her I suppose I'd have to include Daryl; damn it, I guess I did have some family left.

"I see." Was all I could think to say to her.

"I'll leave you ladies and carry these extremely heavy boxes into the living room, all by myself," Freddy said after a moment of Songbird chattering about the "awesome plaid bows. Like kilts! They're like kilt-bows Lucky!"

"Thanks and don't start without me!" Songbird tossed her armful of stuff onto Freddy's already precarious pile.

I watched Freddy walk away and a thought hit me; we were just out at the store and I didn't even think to get Rick anything for Christmas. Crap. What kind of stupid girlfriend was I anyway? After all, he was so good to me and here I was going to turn up empty handed on Christmas morning. "So, what are you getting Daryl?" I asked, hoping that maybe I could get some ideas.

"Oh. Um…I don't know. What are you gonna get Rick?" She said uncertainly, I guess she hadn't thought about it either.

"I don't know! Why do you think I asked you what you were getting Daryl?" I snapped.

We stood there for a long moment, hoping the other would come up with a solution for our conundrum when it hit me. "We could make pictures!" I remembered how excited the guys had gotten over my advertisements.

"What, like drawing?" Songbird scrunched her eyebrows at me. "I'm not great at the art, Lucky."

"No," I said exasperatedly. "Not like drawing. Like _pictures_…you know…pictures, wink wink?" I hoped she would get my point without me having to come right out and say it, not that I should start getting shy now.

"Like _naked_ pictures?" Songbird gasped as a blush bloomed over her cheeks.

"Indeed," I nodded sagely. "Naked pictures. I can do you and you can do me. Well…not _do_, just take pictures."

"Ummm…"

"And we could dress up in costumes," I hit her with the juiciest offer I had.

"Okay," Songbird agreed. "Costumes are fun!"

"So when are we doing this thing?" I asked.

"After the decorations are done?" Songbird asked. I flashed her a double thumbs up before following her into the house.

It didn't take me long to regret it, the following; Songbird and Freddy were like demon possessed Martha Stewarts. After only a few minutes of listening to them swap ideas back and forth, I was desperate to leave. I made my way up to the tower, hoping that spending a little bit of time with the boys would scour away the unholy cheer.

I stopped outside the door to straighten my hair and make sure I was presentable when I heard Rick saying, "Actually, she didn't _practically_ beg. She did beg. She actually begged for…for that." Was he actually talking to Daryl about that night that he...no… he wouldn't… would he?

"And she actually liked…that?" Daryl asked sounding deeply interested and a little awed. Was he thinking of this for Songbird? Well, far be it from me to keep this from, well, anybody!

"I loved that!" I said as I walked into the room, shocking both of the men, even though I think Rick felt it a little more than Daryl did from the look on his face. They fell into a shameful silence. Aww, they were embarrassed! How cute! "Oh, don't mind me, go on. It was interesting to hear your perspective!" I sat down next to Rick and looked at both of them expectantly.

"So seriously? You don't mind him doing…that? To you? There?" Daryl asked, looking even more in awe than before.

"Seriously, I love him doing that. To me. There," I told him with an ever widening grin as I remembered it. I would need to get Rick alone, and soon.

"I think we could change the subject," Rick said, still looking like he got caught doing something he shouldn't have.

"But Rick, he needs to know! Would you deny your friend that? Would you deny even your worst enemy that? Really, Rick?" I might have gone a little too far, but damn it, something that great just needs to be shared!

"Okay," Rick answered brusquely. "It happened, it was great. You should do it. Use lube. Let's move on. What did you come up here for, Lucky?"

"They're decorating downstairs; it's horrible. I had to get away from the happy crafters." I groaned miserably.

"So Songbird got all the rest of the women to help?" Daryl asked looking pleased with himself for some reason.

"No," I realized that this was somehow Daryl's fault and I silently vowed revenge upon him. "It's Freddy! It's all Freddy! Well, and Songbird. Freddy and Songbird and holiday cheer. Can you imagine?" I shuddered dramatically.

Daryl laughed. "You wanna stay up here so I can go see if she needs help?" he asked.

"Sure," I winked at Rick and he grinned. "Anything to get me away from the cheer." Daryl left and I hopped into Rick's lap. "I thought he would never leave."

"Oh is that why you came up here?" He asked between kisses.

"I was being totally serious about getting away from Freddy and Songbird," I told him in an innocent voice. "But now that you bring it up…"I kissed my way down his neck and enjoyed the pleasured moan I received for my troubles.

"I don't think we should do this here." Rick said, but his voice sounded forced; like he didn't believe it himself. "For one thing, the door doesn't lock. And I do have a job to do you know…" He trailed off as I started unbuttoning his shirt with my teeth.

I looked up at him, not wanting to stop but seeing his point. "Have you seen anything lately?" I asked.

"No, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be vigilant." There was an edge to what he said; he still didn't forgive himself for what happened to James and Daddy.

"I haven't either." I told him, getting up and walking over to the wall to keep myself from doing what I really wanted to do. "I think the colder weather is slowing them down. There weren't even any on the road except the ones locked up in that Walgreens."

"That's true." Rick agreed as he reluctantly rebuttoned his shirt. "We'll have to see, maybe move up somewhere colder if you're right."

I thought of leaving my home. No, it didn't really mean much to me anymore; I wondered if it would even keep us safe after what had happened. The idea of finding somewhere new to settle down with Rick, the excitement of finding a place that belonged to _us_, sent shivers down my spine. "That might be nice." I murmured.

A few days later, Songbird cornered me after breakfast and told me that she was 'ready to do that thing we'd talked about' in a hushed conspirative tone.

I smiled and told her we could meet in my room whenever she was ready; she just nodded and said she would be there in an hour.

It had taken the better part of twenty minutes to convince Rick to leave, but telling him that he should be spending more time with Carl did the trick, even if it did leave me with a guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had to rush to get the room ready, remaking my bed in richer looking sheets and blankets, making room in the theater room and setting up the backdrop James had made for creating advertorials and putting on the green teddy I had looted before we'd made it home. I had just thrown on a robe, not wanting to make Songbird uncomfortable the minute she stepped into the room and tossed the costumes I'd taken in for her onto the bed when I heard her uncertain knock at the theater room door. I opened it and she stepped in after looking around guiltily.

"Why do you look so nervous? I promise I won't take advantage of you," I tried to flash a reassuring smile but she just stared at my robe. I waited a couple of seconds, but she didn't move. "Um… Songbird? I'm seriously not going to rape you."

"Right. I know. Okay. Let's…um…do this then," Songbird said with more bravado that her posture let on.

"So…um…yeah," Lucky I stood there looking at her, feeling kind of bad that I'd dragged her into this, but I just couldn't think of anything better to get the guys for Christmas.

"Yeah." Songbird agreed.

"Hmmm…so how do you suggest we get over this awkward point?" I asked wanting to put her at ease, her nervousness was starting to rub off on me.

"I…maybe…how did you do it for the other pictures?"

"I wasn't naked for those."

"Good point."

"And James was taking them," I added.

"Awkward."

"I didn't know they were dirty!" I exclaimed exasperatedly. Geez, I still didn't think they were that bad.

"Okay. All right. Well. I have posed for some stuff…posters and…um…the like. Maybe we should start with costumes first?" Songbird questioned.

"I took these in," I showed her the stuff I had thrown on the bed. It hadn't taken long to adjust them to her size, but I hoped she liked them because I didn't feel like ruining anymore of my clothes. "They should fit you. And I think Daryl would like them."

She sifted through them, grabbing at a soldier's outfit that I'd refitted to make her slim figure look curvier and more feminine.

"Hmmm…why don't you wear the jacket open with nothing underneath it?" I offered, trying to think in terms of what that crazy redneck would want.

"I want combat boots," was all I received for my effort.

Feeling a little peeved, I trudged into my closet to get some for her. When I came back she muttered "Okay. I think I can do this," and traipsed off to the bathroom to change. I shook my head, wondering if she was going to be able to get through this. Bad vibes make bad pictures and one thing I couldn't stand was bad pictures. I slipped out of my robe just before she stepped out of the bathroom, tossing it off to the side, hoping I looked confident and that it would rub off on her.

"You look so much more grown up than me," Songbird complained. "I'm still too skinny."

"I really don't think that Daryl's going to complain about it," I reassured her.

"All right, who goes first?" Songbird asked.

"You're not going to break my camera are you? They just don't make these anymore," I cradled my old Olympus in my hands, reluctant to hand it over.

"I know how to use a camera," Songbird replied. "It's not nearly as complicated as a stove."

"It's an SLR, an older SLR," I eyed her warily. "Do not ruin my pictures."

"I will not ruin your pictures!" Songbird emphasized. "Now get all proactively posed and quit worrying!"

I did, letting myself imagine Rick's reaction to what I was doing and getting more and more 'in character' with every click of the shutter. By the time I was done, Songbird had fallen into a steady rhythm of finding where the best light for each pose was. I was actually feeling pretty proud of her.

I finally reached for the camera. "Your turn." I smiled.

"Well now I'm all scared," she admitted. "What should I do?"

"Just pretend that there's a little tiny Daryl in the camera lens," I quirked a smile, after all that was what I was kind of doing, only with Rick instead of the mangy redneck.

"Uh huh." She wasn't buying it. "Should I stand or get on the bed?"

"I don't really see an occasion for a soldier to take anything lying down," I quipped.

"Okay," Songbird walked over to the backdrop.

"Turn away and then look back at me," I offered, knowing it was an easier pose.

Songbird did, and immediately fell into a fit of nervous laughter. "Songbird!" I squealed, not quite annoyed, but this was going to take all day if she didn't straighten up and I didn't know if I could go all day without Rick after thinking about him the way I had.

"I'm sorry!" she turned away and I heard her take a deep breath then let it out. "I'm ready now, I swear."

She glanced back at me with the most ridiculous duck face I'd ever seen.

"Um…that's…nice…what are you doing?"

"I don't know! What should I be doing?"

"Like this," I looked down, then up again arranging my face the way I did for posters. Songbird gave it a try and while it didn't look quite natural, it was pretty. Eventually she found a look that suited her perfectly and once we had gone through all of the costumes I was sure we would be really happy with how the photos would turn out.

"I think it's time, Songbird," I put my hand on her shoulder as I broke the news. "We have reached the point where the clothes need to come off."

"Really?" Songbird squeaked.

"Well, okay, if you don't want to, you don't have to. But I'm totally going to," I shrugged.

"You first then," her voice still had a squeaky quality to it.

"Pussy," I rolled my eyes.

"I'm going to do it, I swear! Just…you first."

"Fine," I let my negligee slide to the floor and I climbed up on the bed. When I looked up at her, Songbird was looking very intently at her feet. "You going to take pictures of the floor there Songbird?" I asked.

No. Just…arrange yourself…and let me know when you're…you know…ready."

"I already am." I told her and she turned berry red as I flirted at her while the shutter snapped at record speeds. I grinned, poor Songbird.

"Now you?" I said uncertainly.

"Yeah," she didn't move though.

"Look, you don't have to. If you're done then I'm done and we…well…I can get dressed."

"No, I'm doing this."

She squeezed her eyes shut and the black leather outfit she'd been wearing fell to the ground. Her arms instinctively covered her chest and her knees bent as she closed her legs as far as they would go.

"Those aren't going to be very sexy pictures," I chuckled. "But if that's what you want…"

Songbird shook her head determinedly and looked to me for guidance.

"What should I do now?"

"You could do what I did," I suggested, I knew perfectly well that my poses were all fantastic.

"Okay." She still sounded nervous, but not nearly as freaked out as before. She climbed up onto my bed and tried to emulate what I had done. Like before, it only took a little while for her to loosen up and I could feel my cheeks flush a bit when I realized that I actually thought she looked hot.

I lowered my camera as soon as the thought crossed my mind. "So, you think we're done here?"

"I think the only thing sexier would be if we were in the picture together." Songbird answered with a smile as she hopped down from the bed.

I giggled, but I knew something like that would definitely be on any guy's Christmas wish list.

"Do you…uh…hmm…" We both tried to say at the same time.

"Well, they would like it…" Songbird stated matter-of-factly as she twirled her hair around her finger.

"They definitely would, I mean… if you want to…" I said slowly, not quite sure how we'd work this out.

"So how would we…what would we do?" Songbird asked.

"Let me get my tripod, you want to get back on the bed?" I said, glad to take a moment to pull myself together.

When I came back into the room, Songbird was perched on the side of the bed; I set the camera up, focusing the lens so that the whole bed would be in the picture, I didn't know how this would turn out after all. I made sure I had the camera's remote and sat on the bed as far from Songbird as possible.

"I will have to say that this," I pointed to the ridiculous amount of space between us. "This is not sexy."

"Right."Songbird agreed and scooted a foot closer.

I moved so that I was almost touching her but not quite. "Ahem. So what _are_ we going to do?"I asked.

"I thought you had a plan. You always have a plan." She said defensively.

"Fine." I sighed. "Come here." I tried to pretend Songbird was a complete stranger, because that somehow made it easier to do what we were doing. I turned to face her, trying to lose myself in her deep blue eyes as I ran my finger down her cheek, moving her hair aside so I could see her face better. I inched my face closer to hers licking my lips while my fingers traced down her arms to rest on her waist. I pulled her a little closer to me so that her nipples brushed against mine and I could feel her breath dancing with mine between us. Her fingers tangled themselves in my hair and I pushed the button in my hand, making Songbird gasp as the flash snapped her back into the real world.

"I think that will be a good one!" I smiled at her. "Do you want to take another just to be sure?"

"You're like a magician! I wasn't nervous at all!" She grinned back, still clutching my hair. "Sure, same pose or something different?"

I thought about it for a second and pulled her around so that my breasts were pressed against her back. Her ass tickled my pussy as I straddled it, sending an unexpected shudder down my spine. I trailed my fingers down her arms, letting myself adjust to the feel of her petite feminine body before surprising her by lightly grasping one of her creamy soft breasts. She gasped and I tweaked her already hard nipple softly as she turned to caress my mouth with hers.

I snapped another picture before I lost myself completely to the moment.

"Huh!" Songbird exclaimed softly, her mouth still almost covering mine. "I've never done that before."

"Yeah, me either." I agreed, letting my hand fall and scooting back so that I wasn't sitting on top of her anymore.

"Okay, do you think that's good enough?"

"It's up to you."

"Do you have a place to develop these?" Songbird asked. "Because if you do, I wanna watch."

"I've got a darkroom right in there." I nodded at the door I'd retrieved my tripod from.

"Well, let's go do that!" She jumped off the bed and started pulling her clothes on.

I grabbed a pair of jeans and a tee shirt and put them on before showing Songbird into the darkroom. I was really proud of my equipment and how well I knew my way around it, and despite the fact that Songbird almost turned the lights on a few times, we had some more than decent prints in front of us in no time.

"I think we look pretty hot," Songbird commented as we spread them out in front of us on the theatre room floor.

"Damn right we do," I agreed. I looked at the two pictures of us together thoughtfully and it dawned on me that neither of the guys were ever going to see them. "Hmmm…but do you think that Daryl will appreciate it when Rick sees this naked picture of you?"

"No. No he will not," Songbird confirmed, her eyes going wide with realization. "And Rick will feel the same way about Daryl having a picture of you. Dang. We should have thought about that. We should burn them."

"No, they're beautiful art!" I told her, they were some of the best pictures I'd ever taken despite the questionable content. "Don't you want to keep one?"

"What if Daryl found it?"

"Meh." I shrugged; I wasn't the one who would care if he saw me naked.

"We should put them in a safe location," Songbird whispered conspiratorially. "And never speak of them again!"

"Well, I'll just put them back in the darkroom. No one ever goes in there." I offered.

"Okay, that's fine with me," She gathered her prints in the folder I'd found for them and made her way to the door. "Don't forget to put those away," she called behind her as she walked out.

"You're ashamed of me aren't you?" I cried out in mock sorrow. "Ashamed of what we've done here today!" I could hear her laughing as I put my pictures in my 'special drawer' hoping that Rick wouldn't have occasion to look in it before I had a chance to give him his gift.

I left the other folder on the theatre room floor while I used the potty; but to my horror, when I went to put them away they were gone.

Oh crap. 'Maybe Songbird put them away for me', I told myself and feeling even more sick when they weren't anywhere in the darkroom. "Fuck." I whispered. "Songbird is going to kill me."


	14. Chapter 14

I tracked Songbird down the next day and pulled her aside. "Did you… uh…do anything with those pictures?" I asked, looking around to make sure no one heard me.

"I just put them in my computer bag, why?" She said, obviously not thinking of the same pictures I was.

"No." I explained in a quieter voice. "The _other_ pictures."

Her eyes narrowed as she comprehended what I was saying. "What do you mean?"

"Oh God!" I dropped my head into my hands. "I just went to pee and when I came back, they were gone! I didn't even hear anyone come into the room. Who would do that?"

We both looked around suspiciously.

"I can't believe you did that! We should have burned them!" She snapped at me.

"I didn't do anything! I wouldn't have even had time to burn them even if that was what we were going to do! I was only in there for a second!" I snapped back.

"Look, if one of our guys has them, we'll find out soon enough. If not, then… I don't really want to know about it." She looked down at her feet. "We shall never speak of this again. Do you understand?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Whatever, I think I just want to forget about it anyway."

"Fine!" She said a little too loudly. "Why don't you and Freddy go get us a tree? That should give you something to think about!"

"Okay." I shrugged. "Go find Freddy. I'm ready to go when he is." I plopped down on the couch and propped my feet up on the arm rest.

She sighed exasperatedly and trudged off.

It took about fifteen minutes for Freddy to walk into the room with Rick close behind him. "Ready to go find us a tree?" He asked a little too brightly.

"I guess." I replied flatly. "I take it you're going to join us?" I asked Rick in a friendlier tone.

"Did you really think I'd let you go out without me?" He answered.

"Besides, the kind of tree me and Carl were talking about is going to take three people to carry." Freddy chimed in. "Well," he rubbed his hands together. "Let's go!"

We'd wandered around in the woods just outside the fence for over an hour, but Freddy refused to settle on anything but 'the perfect embodiment of all things a Christmas tree should be'. No matter how we felt about any particular conifer, he turned his nose up at it.

'It's too skinny.'

'It's too short.'

'Bah! You call that a Christmas tree?'

I wanted to strangle him, but I was pretty sure my joints were too frozen to accomplish it. Rick just shook his head and went on looking for something better. Finally, I got tired of it and sat on a fallen trunk, deciding that the men could find something on their own, but Freddy sidled up next to me.

"So." He looked at me seriously.

"Yeah?" I was too annoyed with him at that point to play at making small talk.

"Songbird is pretty upset with you."

"Yeah, well screw her." I said turning away from him.

"See that's the thing and I don't like it." He went on.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I squinted, looking for Rick and finding him measuring the circumference of a Douglas fir with his arms not too far off.

"She, um, told me about… some things… and I thought with you and Rick…" He started stumbling over his words; I just raised my eyebrows at him. "I don't particularly think the footsteps of our fathers are ones you want to follow."

"Fuck! Freddy!" I exclaimed as I jumped off of the trunk; checking to make sure that Rick didn't hear before I went on in a harsh whisper. "We took pictures and that's all there was. Why? What did she say?"

He cocked an eyebrow at me. "Apparently you're really good at…um…taking pictures."

I looked at him in disbelief. "Of course I am." Was all I said before pointing at the tree Rick was admiring and yelling "That's the one we're taking. I'm fucking cold and I wanna go home!"

We hauled it back to the compound and had a hell of a time getting it into the house; but once we did, everyone oohed and ahhed over how magnificent it was. Even Vicky said it was 'decent'. I made sure that everyone knew it was Rick's choice because fuck Freddy! After the torture he put us through, he didn't deserve any of the praise.

He shot me a 'yeah well, fuck you too' look and told Songbird we had some popcorn somewhere in the pantry and they could make a garland with it. She beamed up at him like he was the best thing since Christmas and they left, arm in arm, to go find it.

Carl was grinning from ear to ear telling his dad what an awesome job he did picking out the perfect tree when Lori pulled Rick and Shane off to the side of the room. I went and sat beside Carl with a box of ornaments I had made and sent to my daddy when I was a kid. "Do you think we should wait for the popcorn or go ahead and start hanging stuff?" I asked.

"Hmm," He put his chin in his hand thought fully, looking up and down the fir. "I think we should wait. That way Freddy doesn't kick our butts." He laughed.

"Meh, we could take him." I shrugged.

"I don't know, he's kinda peevy about his decorations, isn't he?" I nodded and we both laughed. I leaned back on my arms, really enjoying the holiday for once.

"Carl, come here a minute please." Lori called out. I turned to watch him go, and the sight of Lori with her arms crossed and tears running down her face caught my eye. I almost got up to ask if everything was alright, but caught myself.

'That is none of my business. Just stay where you are.' I told myself, even though Rick's face was white and strained. I cocked my eyebrow at him; but he just shook his head, so I stayed put, turning back around but not quite feeling as cheerful as I had a minute ago.

Daryl plopped down beside me. "You look kinda lonesome over here by yourself." He said.

"Meh." I shrugged, trying not to look back over my shoulder at the escalating family conversation behind me. "Mom always had to force me into the holiday spirit; it's actually kind of nice to be able to feel my way through it on my own."

"Yeah, I ain't jumpin' in any time soon neither." He leaned in and whispered conspiratorially; looking around to make sure Songbird didn't hear him and making me laugh at him. Luckily for him, she had only just walked in at that point and the children ran to meet her and Freddy as they sat down to string the contents of a large bowl of popcorn.

I could have sworn I heard the word baby in the discussion behind me and my eyes went wide; I leaned back just a smidgen and found I could make out most of what Lori was saying.

"No I don't know whose it is. Don't look at me like that, Rick!" She cried out exasperatedly, I could easily hear her tears through her voice since the room had suddenly become so silent. Not missing that everyone had heard her outburst, she turned to face us and said "Yes, I'm pregnant and no, I don't know who the father is. I guess you all can make what you want to out of that!"

I leaned into Daryl, wanting to disappear completely and Songbird let out an overly dramatic gasp, letting everybody know that she'd known all along. How come Songbird managed to keep everyone else's secrets but mine? Lori's eyes were boring into me, but I refused to look at her. I refused to even think about what was happening right now.

Lori only stood there for a few more seconds before she left the room with Shane following after her. Rick stayed where he was, I could feel him looking at me but I couldn't bring myself to do anything but keep my face buried in Daryl's shoulder.

"Hey, you gonna be alright?" Daryl breathed in my ear.

"Yeah." I mumbled into his shirt. Taking another moment before pulling myself into an upright position, "It's… um… it's none of my business, right?" I looked up at him, hoping that there would be answers there because I didn't want to look at Rick right now.

"I don't see how it's not your business." He answered softly, looking back and forth between me and Rick.

"Lucy…" Rick started, moving a little closer.

"It happened before me, right?" I asked the floor.

"Of course!" He said emphatically.

"I don't know how I feel about this, Rick. But I am on your side, whatever side that is." I told him honestly.

"I'm not really sure what side that is either." He confessed. "I…I'm sorry you had to hear it this way."

"You're sorry for me?" I asked incredulously. "Oh, honey! I am being such a selfish idiot right now aren't I?" I got up and pulled him into my arms. "I am so sorry!" I whispered into his chest.

"Geez, I'm glad we all got tickets to the Lucky show." Freddy drawled sarcastically just loud enough for everyone to hear him. "I know_ I_ wouldn't want to miss a single moment in the amazing saga; where it's all _Lucky_ all the time!"

"Boy," Daryl pointed at him, half poised to get up. "You should never miss a good chance to shut the hell up!"

But the barb had already dug its way under my skin. I looked up at Rick who was watching the argument unfolding in front of us with half amusement. "I love you." I said a little suddenly, and he smiled down at me. "What can I do… to help…to help you?" I stumbled a little over my words, trying not to let him see how dejected I felt.

"Lucy, I …" He started and sighed. "You're doing fine. Don't let your brother get to you like that." He pulled me close to him. "As long as you love me, none of that shit has to matter.

A few days later, I was sitting in my room racking my brain over what I could possibly make for Freddy for Christmas –hating each other over the holidays was kind of a tradition for us, but it never got in the way of awesome present giving- when I heard Daryl's voice through my door. Who was he yelling at like that? I got up and peeked out to see him towering over Vicky.

"Me and her had somethin' good goin' and if you ruined it I swear to God I'll feed you to a fuckin' Walker myself!"

"Tell her how you really feel," I snarked as I leaned against my doorframe and crossed my arms. This was a scene I didn't want to miss.

"I _feel_ like goin' huntin'," Daryl growled, grabbing my arm and dragging me down the hall. "Turkey huntin' and I want you to go too; then maybe someone can explain what the fuck just happened to the only good part of my whole damn life!"

He dragged me through the house until we reached the hatch to the cabin, only letting me go to climb up the ladder.

"Maybe I should…" I started, knowing that Rick would be upset if I left the compound without telling him.

"I ain't stayin' here another minute." He broke in.

I didn't have time to disagree; Daryl just picked me up and flung me over his shoulder. I decided not to argue anymore, I'm sure Rick would understand- there had been enough bloodshed lately without Daryl murdering Vicky, not that anyone would complain.

Daryl didn't really seem like he wanted to talk, he also didn't really seem like he knew where he was going. I wondered if he realized that the middle of the night was not the best time to go hunting for turkeys.

"Um, why don't you pull in there." I pointed out a clearing where we would probably find wild foul when the time was right.

"Yeah. Okay." He pulled in and stared at the steering wheel for a few long moments. "I know we aren't going to find anything right now. I had to get out of there though."

"I get it." And I did. I hated Vicky as much as the next survivor. "So, why exactly are we out here picturing Vicky's face on things we want to shoot?"

He made an uncertain sound that he may have meant to be a laugh, "I honestly don't know what the hell happened." He turned to face me. "You know Songbird hit Vicky in the face right?"

"Good for her!" I smiled. "I didn't know, but that bitch had it coming the way she's been hanging all over you; right in front of Songbird and everything." I shook my head. "I'm kind of surprised it took this long actually."

Daryl gave me his side of the story and I sat back and thought it out. "You really didn't know that Vicky liked you…like that?" I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"I really really didn't!" He threw his hands up in defeat. "Women like that… and men like me… it just never happens."

"What do you mean by men like you?" I asked. I guess I'd never thought about Daryl having a soft squishy self loathing center beneath all his bravado and bad-assery. "And what do you mean by women like her? I mean, I'd be glad if bitches with their panties in a constant wad would stay the fuck away from me, you know?"

He kept staring at the steering wheel with his eyebrows scrunched together. "Men like me…uh you know…poor, I guess… and not uh… classy, or whatever the fuck you call it; and women like her… I liked your description."He shot me a quick half smile before turning back to what must have been the most interesting steering wheel ever. "And I ain't got a problem with her not wantin' me, I sure as fuck don't want her."

He looked up at me, his eyes pleading for answers. "It's just that Songbird told me that Vicky was comin' on to me and I told her it would never happen. Now I feel like a dumbass and she…fuckin' hell Lucky… she cried. And now she won't talk to me and I don't know why!" His fist came down hard on the steering wheel, making me jump a little.

"Fucking women!" I muttered. "This is exactly why I didn't have any chick friends growing up!"

"My ex used to do that shit too." He raked his fingers through his hair. "But this time I think I actually mighta done something wrong. So I want to fix it." He scrunched his eyebrows together again. "So what do you think it mighta been?"

"Well, the only thing that I can think of is that Songbird feels Vicky might be right." I said, but didn't really think it would help.

"Right about what?"

"Well, she's sensitive." I started slowly, I wasn't really used to delving into the way women think either, so it was just as new to me as it was to him. "And you said you didn't listen to her at first…"

"Yeah but she didn't seem all that mad about it then." He interrupted. "She just said 'okay' and then we had sex. So I don't think she was mad at me." 

"I think women tend to wait until those complaints come to fruition before using them against you." I hypothesized. "She could have been hoping she was wrong herself, or that you would react differently."

"I don't know. She's usually not the type to…" He started. "Well, I guess she sorta is the type to hide stuff." He amended. "But usually not stuff like this. She always tells me how she feels, why does she think all of the sudden that I'm stringin' her along?"

"Like I said, she's sensitive. You have to let her know you love her every half hour or she gets… well… like this I guess." I told him, thinking about how much she and Freddy were alike, which was exactly why he was so mad at me right now…I thought anyway.

Daryl looked like he was going to say something, but thought better of it when a new thought took its place. "Fuckin' hell! I've never told her that I love her!"

"What the fucking hell Daryl?" I punched him in the arm, maybe a little too hard. "No wonder she's upset. This is an apocalypse! You could die at any time, or she could… this is not a time for testosterone related forgetfulness!"

"So what should I do?" He asked, rubbing his arm. "I mean, I do… love her."

"You could maybe start by telling her that." I spoke slowly, because at this point that should be obvious. "And… um… make up for all the times you forgot… somehow… I'll let you figure that out yourself- because she has gone out of her way to find ways to tell you."

"Yeah, but I have to do something to get her attention" He said thoughtfully, almost to himself. "Something big and impressive. Something she'll really like so she don't just walk away from me like she's been doin' ever since this happened."

"Well you should know what she likes better than anyone."

"She likes to sing." He said through a grimace. "I can't sing."

"She likes music in general." I looked around the truck and found a few CDs in the glove compartment. "There are lots of things you can do with music," I checked out his collection and put a country compilation album into his stereo. "Find something you think she'll like and go from there."

"I could ask her to dance." He considered to himself. "If I knew how to dance…" I let him think it out to himself as I watched the sun start to peek through the tree line.

"I think that I saw something moving over there." I said, pulling him out of his reverie.

We got out of the truck quietly and carefully made our way over to the edge of the woods. There were about a dozen wild turkeys and twice as many pheasants grazing on the tall grasses and digging their beaks into the soft ground for grubs and worms.

I left Daryl where he was, as he aimed at a particularly large Tom and slipped through the trees to corral the rest of them in if they tried to make a run for it. I nocked my arrow and waited for Daryl to make his move; this was his hunt after all.

I heard him whoop as the Tom fell to the ground, scattering the rest of the rafter. I made as many shots as I could before they all disappeared into the woods, taking down another turkey and a few pheasants as well. Daryl collected his kill and gave me a thumbs up; I checked my kills and was pretty proud of it, the hen I'd hit was easily ten pounds and two of the pheasants I'd nailed were stags, both around three pounds, the apocalypse was treating wild birds pretty well it seemed.

Daryl made his way over to me and asked if I needed any help carrying and I decided to let him get turkey for me. I noticed the large clump of green sprigs attached to the silver birch I was standing under and pointed it out to him. "Hey, look! Mistletoe!"

"Well, what do you know! Songbird asked me to find some for her." He said, setting down our kills to cut some down. I watched him as he pulled a sprig or two down and realized that we were both standing directly under the cluster still hanging in the tree. I could feel my face flush as his face registered that he noticed too. We stood there for a second before we each turned on our heels and walked away to the truck, fowl in hand.


	15. Chapter 15

A few days before Christmas, I walked into the living room and noticed the kids sitting on the floor, staring intently at the tree.

"What's up guys?"I asked as I plopped down beside them.

"There aren't going to be any presents are there?" Sofia responded sullenly.

"What? Why would you say that?" I sputtered, knowing full well that a kid's worst nightmare is no gifts on Christmas and that it wasn't true anyway.

"Vicky said that Songbird was just getting our hopes up." Carl explained. "That there's no point in getting a tree if we can't even put presents under it."

"She's just jealous because no one is getting her anything." I scoffed. "I know for a fact that your parents got you guys stuff."

Their eyes lit up. "What'd they get?" They pounced on me at once; begging for answers.

I just laughed. "Like I'm going to tell you." I shook my head. "The real question is what are you giving them?"

The idea sobered them up and the horrified looks returned to their faces.

"Aww, come on!" I said dramatically. "You guys are smart! You can come up with something!"

"My mom likes to read." Sofia thought aloud. "Maybe I can make up some stories for her."

"There you go!" I applauded her and she beamed at me. "I'll get you some paper and stuff. What about you Carl?"

"I…uh…" He muttered, looking around for an answer to pop out of nowhere.

"Hmm…" I thought too; I'd already gone down this road once with Songbird and it hadn't been easy.

"I could take some photos of you for you to give to them. I know they'd like that. You can probably make anything for your mom and she would like it…" I worked through my ideas out loud and Carl just nodded sagely. "I know! We can make them some cookies! You can decorate a box to put them in and everything!"

Carl's eyes went wide. "You're a genius!" He exclaimed.

"Can I take pictures too?" Sofia asked with equal excitement.

"You bet!" I smiled. "Go get all gussied up and we can go ahead and get it out of the way." I shooed them away and they ran off with big grins on their faces.

We spent the rest of the day in a constant photo shoot. I let the kids order me around, taking all of the pictures they requested:

Sofia with the goats,

Carl on the top of the hay stack,

both of them in a hay fight;

and I was able to get them to sit still for some classic shots that I thought their parents would appreciate.

I even managed to get some good candid shots of the adults for Songbird's pet project:

T-dog wrapping his arms around Carol while she stood at the stove,

Glenn asleep with his mouth wide open and drool dripping down the side of his face,

Andrea shooting at a target in the practice room,

Dale cheering her on,

Daryl tugging on Songbird's braid as she grinned up at him,

Vicky reading by the fire,

Lori and Shane talking over tea at the table with their fingers entangled between them,

Freddy checking the edge of a blade he was honing with his whetstone,

and a few of Rick as he snuck a juice box out of the pantry and then him trying to take the camera away from me when he realized he'd gotten caught.

The next day was spent shooing parents out of the kitchen while we baked and covered the table in arts and craft supplies. I still didn't think that I would ever make great mommy material, but I was definitely the cool aunt… or stepmom in Carl's case. That was a feeling I could really get used to.

I woke up early on Christmas morning, not because I was excited about it, but because someone had to get that gigantic turkey in the oven in order for it to be done by dinner time. I prepped the rest of the veggies while I was in the kitchen and checked on the two pies I'd made the night before, happily finding them still intact.

It was almost time for everyone else to wake up by the time I made it back to my bedroom. Rick was just propping himself up with a sleepy yawn. "Where'd you get off to?" He asked groggily.

"Just doing women's work." I smiled, retrieving his gift before climbing back into bed with him.

"What's that?" He grinned.

"Why don't you open it and find out?" I placed the folder in his lap, looking extremely pleased with myself as his eyes widened in surprise.

"Where did… When…God Lucy, these are great!" He stuttered as he flipped through the prints.

"I couldn't think of what to give you, so I thought I would just give you the gift of me." I knew how corny that sounded, but he was too enraptured with the photographs to really notice.

"Mmm." He closed the folder and carefully placed them on the nightstand on his side of the bed. "They're really, really nice Lucy." He said as he maneuvered himself on top of me. "But they kind of just make me want the real thing, not that I needed any help with that."

"That was the point." I giggled as he pinned my hands above my head.

"It is a fine point." His other hand slid slowly down my neck, stopping briefly to tease my nipples before continuing its torturously unhurried trek to my pussy. He grasped my underwear and ripped them from my body, making me gasp in surprise.

"You have many fine points." He said in what could only be described as a growl as he slipped a finger into me; he ducked his head down to take one of my nipples between his teeth, holding me in place when I squirmed against him.

"Rick!" I squealed as he thrust in another finger, pulsing them in a quick steady rhythm. His mouth came down hard on mine, his teeth catching on my bottom lip as I called out his name again.

Rick's fingers began to slow and I savored the tingling sensations of them trailing down my legs, tickling me on my inner thighs; he grabbed me by the hips and flung me over so that I was laying on my stomach. It had totally taken me by surprise and my body reacted by getting even more excited.

I tried to get to my knees, shoving my ass at him and hoping he would get the picture; but he just slapped it with a loud smack. "You need to calm your ass down." He said with a dominance I'd never heard from him before, making me want to obey and defy him at the same time and both of those thoughts just got me even hotter.

"But I want you inside of me." I pleaded, trying to back into him, but he'd pulled my hands over my head again.

"I'll get there when I'm good and fucking ready." He said, squeezing my ass with his free hand and pushing my legs together so he could straddle them. I writhed against him, trying desperately to get him inside of me somehow and he just laughed. "Do you want it that bad?" He crooned.

"Yes." I purred.

"It doesn't really sound like you want it too bad." He told me and started to move away.

"Please!" I begged. "I need it, baby! I need you inside of me."

He shoved into me without warning, sending a hard jolt of pleasure and pain all the way through my body. I pushed my face into the mattress to scream, but he grabbed my hair so that I was forced to turn and look at him.

His eyes were staring down at me so intensely that it came as a shock when they scrunched closed and he pushed into me with so much force it sent tears running down my face as it triggered my own release. He slumped on top of me and ran his fingers gently through my hair. "I love you." He whispered.

"And you have the best way of showing it ever!" I giggled.

He rolled over so he was laying beside me, cupping my face in both of his hands. He looked like he was about to say something but there was a sudden loud knock at the door. "It's Christmas!" Carl shouted through it. "Come on, dad, let's open presents!"

"Well, I guess that's our cue." He chuckled and rolled out of bed to get dressed.

I think the kids had a better time giving out their gifts than they had receiving them. The smiles on their faces as their parents opened their presents were priceless. I even got a smile from Lori when she saw the photos Carl had pasted into a little scrapbook for her.

I gave Songbird the candid shots unceremoniously. "These are for your 'history' projects." I told her as I dropped the unwrapped photo album into her lap.

"Thank you so much!" She said while giving me a hug. "I can't believe you remembered."

"Like you would let anybody forget about it." I snarked.

"And this is for you!" She handed me a small flat parcel that turned out to be a fabric bound notebook with my name written in glitter across the front. "I don't know if you like to draw or write…but here is the paper to do it with!"

I thanked her and gave her a hug in return before turning to my brother.

"Here." I shoved my gift for him under his nose. "I made this for you."

He took the large flat box and shook it excitedly. "When did you have time to do that?"

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." I shrugged.

"Okay, as long as you remember that I wasn't the one who called you a horse." He said and I slapped him across the back of the head. He tossed me a smaller parcel and I pulled at the twine holding it together to reveal a collection of books from a wide range of genres. Aww, as angry at him as I was right now, I had to admit my brother knew me pretty well.

He ripped the tape holding his box together and pulled out the arrows I'd been hiding in the barn for the last couple of days.

"I lucked out with that hunting trip I took with Daryl."I beamed at him. "It would have been a shame to let all of those feathers go to waste."

"There has to be at least fifty arrows here!" He exclaimed as he pulled me into a headlock. "Aren't you the bestest sister ever!"

I squealed and almost knocked over the glass of wine that Vicky had brought into the living room with her as we wrestled across the floor. I finally pried myself out of his grip and sat beside Rick, feeling giddy and breathless from the surprising amount of holiday cheer that had made it into my system this year.

Carl asked his mom if they could go outside to see if it was snowing and she agreed taking Shane by the hand as they made their way out of the room; Sofia dragged Carol and T-dog out behind them. Andrea and Dale went to check on the turkey that had been in the oven since the wee hours of the morning.

"I…uh… this probably isn't as good as what you got me, but I did manage to get you a little something while we were out." Rick told me as he handed me a small neatly wrapped box.

"You got me something while we were out?" I asked. Inconceivable! I had been with him the whole time… hadn't I? "What is it?"

He just laughed at me. "Why don't you open it and find out?"

I did and gasped when I saw the beautifully intricate ring holding a ruby solitaire encrusted with diamonds sparkling up at me. "Rick!" Was all I managed to say and it had come out in a breathy whisper.

"I know I can't marry you now, but I'd like to think that maybe someday…" He didn't get to finish because I had covered his mouth in a grateful kiss.

"I would marry you in a heartbeat!" I sighed as I put the ring on. "It's absolutely perfect, honey!" I settled myself in his lap and held my hand up so the stones could catch the light twinkling from the tree.

"I'm glad you like it." He smiled at me. "I still don't think it's as good as what you gave me though."

"Pssh!" I slapped him playfully on the arm. "That's just because you've been so naughty."

"I think I could stand to be a little naughtier, if you're ready to go back to our room." He whispered as he nuzzled my neck.

"Maybe after we help clean up." I said between gasps as his mouth worked its way down to my collarbone.

I pulled myself out of Rick's lap and listened to Songbird and Freddy as they mourned over the wrapping paper that had been strewn all over 'the beauty they had created'.

"You know what Freddy? I think you are the one following a little too closely in our fathers' footsteps." I remarked as I bent down to pick up the balls of paper around me.

"At least I'm not the one kissing girls!" Freddy yelled at me. "I mean guys! I'm not kissing guys!" Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and turned to look at him. "You kissed a girl and I don't like it!"

"You did what?" Rick asked, his voice riddled with shock.

I just sat there; this conversation was not going the way I wanted it to.

"It didn't mean anything!" Songbird cried defensively. "It was just art!"

Daryl looked like he was about to say something but his mouth snapped shut when Freddy called out. "If it was just art, why did you feel the need to tell me how much better her kiss was than mine?"

"Lemme see if I can process this," Daryl stated in a daze. "Both of you kissed my girl…for art?"

"I didn't kiss her for art." Freddy protested.

"I…" Daryl pointed at Songbird. "You…" Then he threw his hands into the air in frustration. "I don't know how to feel about this!"

Songbird took a step toward him, her arms out in a pleading stance. "I'm so so sorry! I just didn't know what to get you for Christmas!"

"Wait." Rick said, standing up. "Why didn't _I_ get _those_ pictures this morning?"

"You're a police officer!" Songbird turned to face him, looking hopeful. "We need to report a theft!"

"Wait." Daryl turned her to face him. "They're gone? As in missing?"

"I had to pee!" I called out in frustration. "I can't be everywhere at once can I?"

"No you could have burned them like I said!" Songbird yelled at me. "I told you to burn them!"

"No!" Daryl, Rick and Glenn all shouted at once.

"They are beautiful art and I am standing by my decision." I stated matter-of-factly. "And it seems every man here will back me up." I arched an eyebrow at them all in amusement.

"So the two of you cheated on your boyfriends and… took pictures of it?" Vicky asked from her spot on the couch.

Freddy pinched the bridge of his nose. "You don't understand anything!" He shook his head in dismay. "If it weren't my sister, I would feel differently about these pictures."

"How differently?" Daryl growled slowly. Freddy just shrugged defiantly.

"So, there are pictures of the two of you. Naked. Doing, we can only assume, something wonderful. And they are somewhere in this house?" Rick said in his Officer Grimes voice.

"No." I told him. "Somebody took them, that's a lot different than them just 'being somewhere'."

"Sounds like it's time for a search and seizure here, Officer Grimes." Daryl sounded like he was ready to bust open the head of whoever had taken _his _pictures.

"Hey, you guys can't just go through other people's things!" Glenn protested. "There has to be proper cause, or whatever you call it."

Everyone turned to stare at him suspiciously.

"You were out in the hall that day!" Songbird's face lit up with realization.

Daryl took a few menacing steps toward Glenn and leaned over him; Glenn just shrank back into the chair he was sitting in, looking around desperately for a way out.

"Do you know anything about this?" Daryl snarled, grabbing a hold of Glenn's shirt.

"I… I… look you can't really blame me can you?" He stuttered.

"You found _those_ pictures of _my_ Lucy and you thought you would just…" Rick sounded almost as pissed as he had at Abrahm.

"Woah." Freddy stepped in, putting a hand on Rick's shoulder to try and calm him down. I don't think he could have done anything to calm Daryl down and probably didn't want to get in Daryl's way right now. "Like he said, can you blame him?"

"Go get 'em." Daryl growled and Glenn took off like a shot.

"Oh my God!" Songbird shrank into the corner, dropping her head in her hands. I don't think I had ever seen her look so distraught. I wrapped my arms around her; running my fingers down her hair and she pressed her face into my shoulder as I whispered consolations in her ear to try to calm her down.

I noticed that everything got a little too quiet and I looked around at the men who were all staring at us with their eyebrows almost reaching their hairlines. "Ugh! Will you all stop that? We did it for you!" I snapped.

Glenn walked back into the room and saw me and Songbird still clinging to each other in the corner. "Why does all the good stuff happen when I'm not in the room?" He sighed.

"Sounds like you've had plenty of good stuff happening lately." Rick said as he snatched the folder out of his hand.

For his part, Daryl just smacked Glenn in the back of the head and leaned in so that their noses were almost touching. He didn't say anything before he walked away, but I'm pretty sure Glenn got the idea because he turned on his heels and ran right back through the door.

Rick stood where he was, holding the folder for a long minute then grabbed Daryl's arm as he walked out of the room. I realized what they were doing and followed on their heels.

Rick led us to our room and Songbird locked the door as soon as she had closed it behind her. I leaned against the wall, watching Rick's face as he flipped the folder's cover open. I don't think I'd ever seen anyone look so shocked.

"Well?" Daryl asked. "Don't keep it all to yourself!" Grabbing the folder out of Rick's hand when he didn't move. "Good God!" He breathed.

"What do you think?" Songbird squeaked from where she was huddled behind him.

"I think this should be my Christmas present." He said, still using the awed voice from before.

"But I already gave you your Christmas present." She protested.

"Then this is the rest of my Christmas present." He amended.

"Which one do you like better?" I asked Rick; I refused to think of them as anything other than art while there were other people in the room.

"There's more?" The men asked in unison as they scrambled to grab the folder out of each other's hands. Rick nabbed the second print and Daryl peered at it from over his shoulder. They seemed to debate it silently before Rick handed Daryl the second photo and closed the folder containing his choice.

"Thank you, sir." Daryl said in an oddly polite tone. "I'm gonna go put this somewhere I know that sneaky Chinese kid can't find it."

"But he's Korean, Daryl." Songbird corrected. He just shook his head and led her out by the elbow.

Rick stayed where he was, looking at me with a cocked eyebrow.

"What?" I asked him, not moving from my spot on the wall.

"That was… this is… uh… interesting." He held up the folder, shaking it in my direction.

"We…um… we thought that men liked that sort of thing…" I started.

"Mm-hmm." He nodded.

"But then, we didn't think that you… you know wouldn't want Daryl to see me naked, or he wouldn't want you to see Songbird…" I continued.

"Seems logical." He agreed, taking a step toward me.

"So… you know… I can't really tell how you feel about this." I just gave up and sank against the wall.

"Here, let me show you." He closed the gap between us, grabbing a fistful of my hair as he pressed my body against the wall with his own.

"Here, let me show you." He closed the gap between us, grabbing a fistful of my hair as he pressed my body against the wall with his own.


	16. Chapter 16

Spring was approaching more quickly than I had anticipated, but it could have had something to do with the amount of work I'd been doing around the farm to prepare for the upcoming season change.

I had filled the greenhouse with seedlings to plant as soon as I could be sure the frosts were over, helped Freddy make sure the livestock would be bearing a new generation once the cold weather let up and joining the other women in constantly complaining about the mud being tracked into the house

Despite all of the preparations wearing me down, I didn't think spring could get here soon enough. Our food supply was starting to dwindle and with our cows and goats pregnant, we didn't have the milk to fall back on. At least all of the work took my mind off of the tragedies that had caused it.

When I did get a chance to sit down, it was usually during planning sessions the men were having. Shane decided he wanted to see if there was anything else worth taking at that strip mall we'd hit on our way back from Area three while Dale and Rick thought we needed to get more supplies to reinforce the fences. I thought they were good ideas, but they wouldn't be able to do anything until the roads were clear. None of them had outfitted their cars with snow tires and the blustery weather was only just starting to let up.

Daryl sometimes took me on hunting trips in the woods beside the compound. I was grateful; Vicky had set her sights on Freddy since the Songbird incident before Christmas; even though he blatantly rebuffed her advances, it nauseated me to see how she flung herself at him. My brother might be desperate right now, but he would never be that desperate. Besides, nothing calmed my nerves better than killing things… Well, almost nothing. Rick always did a pretty good job of keeping me relaxed.

The days were starting to warm up and I found myself spending more time out in the orchard again, just to get away from the noise of having fourteen other people constantly under my feet. I had just finished E.M. Delafield's Diary of a Provincial Lady for the millionth time and was walking back to the house when I heard Songbird telling her dog, "Quit looking at me like that! It's your own fault; you're sexist and I have had enough!"

"So, he's being condescending again, is he?" I asked, leaning against the side of the barn

"Ah! You've noticed it too!" Songbird replied dryly.

"Only when he talks to you. You are the only person who hears him after all." I responded.

"Whatever!" She retorted. "You know it's true" She walked over to me and we made our way toward the house. "I haven't seen much of you lately."

"I've been busy I guess." I shrugged.

"Yeah." She spread her arms out wide to gesture at the farm. "What with all this… and Rick."

"Yeah." I smiled. " I do..um… do Rick a lot."

"And who could blame you?" I she shook her head. "I told you it was all pros, didn't I? Not a single con to be seen!" Her face went dark for a moment as she muttered, "Depending on how you do it."

"What does that mean?" I asked, surprised, but then I'd never really been interested in Daryl Dixon's bedroom prowess. "It's great no matter how I do it… and that's saying something… it turns out I'm kind of a freak in the sack."

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me. "Yeah. I know." I opened the hatch to the cabin and she made her way down the ladder. "You and Rick can be freaky on your own time, just stop giving Daryl horrible ideas." She called back up to me.

I slid down on the railing and quirked an eyebrow at her. She looked around the hall and then grabbed my arm to drag me into the command center, slamming the door behind her.

"I don't know how it works for you, but there are areas of my body that are pretty much exit only." She blushed as the words ran out of her mouth.

"Hmm." I rested my chin on my hand and looked her over. "I just don't think you did it right."

"What other way is there to do it?" She asked exasperatedly, throwing her hands up in the air and turning away from me."Oh my God!" She clapped her hands over her mouth as she saw Daryl, sitting in Rooster's chair with his arms crossed as he stared at her with a horrified look on his beet red face. She moved her hands to cover her eyes. "I am so sorry! Why didn't you tell me you were here?"

"I was kinda hopin' this was just a bad dream." He finally choked out after a minute of continuing to look at her with his mouth wide open.

"Look, none of that matters! I told them, taking a seat next to Daryl and looking both of them over clinically. "The real issue is that you two are making a horrible mistake and I need to rectify it immediately!"

Songbird giggled nervously at my use of the word 'rectify'. I smiled, my use of puns had apparently done its job of loosening them up…well, her… Daryl was just giving me a murderous stare.

"I mean, I know from experience that it… is…wonderful…" I grinned as I remembered my encounter with Rick the previous night. "And you two must have really fucked it up. So… tell me what went wrong."

"No." Daryl said flatly as Songbird dramatically called out "How could it ever be right? It just isn't… natural!"

"Mm-hmm." I nodded and steepled my fingers in front of me. "I see. And did you clench?" I asked, sounding amazingly professional for just having said the word 'clench'.

"I am not going to answer that!" Songbird recoiled at the question at the same time that Daryl said. "Yeah, she did."

"And did you use a lubricant of any variety?" I asked, picking up a notepad and beginning to doodle on it.

Songbird clamped her mouth shut and leaned against the wall, but Daryl seemed willing to comply. "Kinda." Was all he said as he gestured at Songbird's privates.

"Daryl!" She squealed. "We had a deal!"

"Okay, so just to be clear," I began, putting my doodle down and looking at each of them in turn. "You didn't really use lube and you clenched up. I can see why you stopped there, but…"

"She didn't tell me…she didn't tell me and she cried… and… and she didn't tell me!" Daryl said, narrowing his eyes on his woman.

"You mean…" My eyes went wide in realization. "Damn it Songbird, you idiot!"

"Haven't I been punished enough?" She burst out. "There is a lot of him and I am a tiny little person."

"Right." I nodded. "So, if you ever decide to try this again," They both scoffed loudly at that, but I continued. "You might want to get your communication in order, along with lots of lube and even more foreplay. That is the key; being ready for it via relaxation and lube. I really can't stress that enough."

"And where would I get all that lube you keep talkin' about?" Daryl asked sarcastically.

"Well, if you really need it, I have plenty… I stocked up on it on our last looting trip." I offered.

Daryl cocked his eyebrow at Songbird in a silent question.

"No! No! Never again!" She threw her hands up in defiance.

"Pussy." I scoffed under my breath.

"What did you just call me?" She leveled look of pure contempt at me. "Fine. Go get it then."

I got up and walked out without another word, but gave Daryl a discreet wink before I stepped through the door. I went to my room and rummaged through my drawer, trying to decide which of the bottles I would be willing to give up when Rick walked in.

"Oh, feeling playful?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Um…no… I need some lube for something with Daryl and Songbird."

He tensed.

"I mean… they need some… I was just going to give it to them and walk away." I babbled. "Hey, did you know that they are terrible at the ass lovin'?" I asked, wanting to deflect attention away from my misstep.

"How could you be bad at that?" He sat on my bed and pulled me into his lap. It seemed I was forgiven.

"He didn't use lube and she clenched." I said with a shake of my head.

"What?" He sounded appalled. "I specifically told him to use lube."

"I know, honey… he used… um… her…"

"No wonder she clenched up." He nodded. "So, the sooner you take this to them…"

"The sooner I can meet you back here." I smiled.

"Hurry up." He slapped my ass as I got up to leave.

I walked back into the command center to find Songbird and Daryl exactly where I'd left them, both physically and emotionally.

"I didn't say it was your fault, I just said it wasn't good." Songbird was saying through clenched teeth.

Daryl spat out "Yeah well…" And then stopped when he saw me.

"Don't stop on my account." I told them as I tossed Daryl the clear plastic bottle I'd brought. "From what I've seen of the two of you, this is your best foreplay session yet."

Daryl stood. "Alright. Let's go." He leveled a finger at Songbird.

She looked confused and terrified. "Wha… right now?"

"Yep." Was all he said as he led her out of the room with one firm hand around the back of her neck.

"Ahh, young love." I teased as they walked past me.

"I didn't hate you before… but I will let you know where we stand later." Songbird muttered from down the hall.

"You're going want to thank me." I replied and turned to make my way back to my room when the radio sputtered to life.

"Hello? Can anyone hear me?" Was the panicked cry from the other end. "Please! We need help! Can anyone hear me?"

I stood frozen for a long moment, wondering why the radio was on in the first place. After the incident at Area three Rick had turned it off, refusing to acknowledge the existence of the other groups.

"Someone has to be out there, I heard you! She is going to die, we need your help! Anybody!" The plea brought me back to the present and I assumed that Daryl had been in here messing around with the equipment before Songbird and I walked in.

"I'm here." I said as I slid in to the chair. "What's your emergency? Over."

"My wife, she's having a baby and we thought we could handle it on our own, but there is so much blood and she's been in labor for days." The man's voice had calmed down a little, but he was speaking so fast I could barely understand him. "She is in so much pain, please we need your help."

"I…" I began, but Rick walked into the room, looking a little annoyed when he found me sitting at the radio. "I will see what I can do. Look, I can't promise anything, but I will try to get you some help, okay?"

"Please!" He begged again. "I can't lose her! She's all I have left!"

"I'll try. Over and out." I put the mouthpiece on the table and turned to look at Rick. "His wife is having a baby; he thinks she might be dying."

"I feel bad, but we aren't going back to Area three." He said evenly.

"It was Area two." I corrected him. He kept giving me that blank emotionless look and something in me started to crack. "God dammit, Rick! What if it was me? What if I was having your baby and there was no one there to help?" I stood up and walked over to him. "What if I was going to die? Wouldn't you want someone to help? We have to help!" I ended my tirade in a whisper, looking down at our feet because I couldn't stand to see his face while he was picturing me dying.

"Damn it, woman! You're going to be the death of me, you know that right?" He put his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. "Don't ever say that again. I won't let you die."

"We have to help them, Rick." I said softly into his shirt.

He sighed. "I'm not going to win on this, am I?" I just shook my head, and his shoulders slumped a little. "Alright, we'll talk to the rest of the group and see what they have to say."

About an hour later, everyone was in the living room deciding how to handle the new situation. Surprisingly, Lori took my side; but I suspected it might have hit a little too close to home for her. Not everyone was convinced we should stick our necks out, Daryl even said something along the lines of 'they got themselves into that mess, they can get themselves out.', but I couldn't get around the fact that it would just be inhuman to leave them there to suffer like that.

"We have it so easy here." I muttered. "Even with all of the work we have to put into it, we are lucky to have what we have. I don't want to put anyone in danger either, but people are already in danger and I can't just sit idly by while they die. And not just die, but suffer until they finally just shut down." The words came out quickly through a stream of tears. I had no idea where all of the anger was coming from, but I was angry at them all for taking advantage of the safe haven my fathers had built without adhering to the code of honor they had fortified it with.

"So, we're supposed to go running every time somebody out there calls for help?" Daryl asked incredulously. "That's just stupid if you ask me."

"I didn't." I snapped. "And it isn't like there are a whole lot of people left out there to call for help anyway."

"And what's your plan?" Shane inquired, his hand resting on Lori's shoulder. She looked shaken and a little taken aback that there was so much resistance.

"Well, we go; we deliver the baby; we bring them back home, or take them to Area three. I guess we can leave that up to them." I listed the items on my fingers.

"Yeah, that sounds so easy." Daryl scoffed.

"We also have to remember that Area two had been nearly completely overtaken by walkers." Dale added thoughtfully.

"And is anybody here even familiar with delivering a baby? I mean, doing like a doctor's job, I know you guys delivered babies before." Glenn asked, addressing Carol and Lori as she brought his ramble to a close.

"I can do it. I've been delivering livestock since I was ten and how different is it really?" Freddy told them with a shrug.

"I would imagine that would be harder. I mean… babies don't have hooves." Songbird agreed.

"So, Freddy and I can go then." I said, ignoring the menacing looks the older women were giving Songbird.

"Not without me, you aren't." Rick stated, crossing his arms. I could tell that he was torn between being irritated that I was so set on doing this and wanting to jump into the rescue mission head first. I knew he had never been one to stand by when someone needed help and I was the only factor in this case that made him hesitate.

"I really want to go since I didn't get to go last time." Songbird chimed in. "I'm a circus performer, dammit! I need to travel!"

Daryl pulled her around so he could look her in the eye. "I didn't let you go to Area three and we thought that was safe. What makes you think I'd let you go now when we know that place is crawlin' with walkers?"

Freddy leaned back against the wall with a snort. "Here we go."

"You got something to say to me, boy?" Daryl's eyes narrowed in on my brother.

"Look, you're the one that keeps telling yourself that she's an adult and that what you're doing is okay; but I think that we can all agree that you haven't really treated her like a grown up this whole time." Freddy's voice was filled with the same conviction I felt for the victims of Area two… maybe he hadn't quite gotten over Songbird as well as I'd believed. "Let her make her own damn decisions, it isn't like she can't handle herself out there. Have a little faith in the _woman _you _claim_ to be in love with."

Songbird's eyes glittered up at my brother, verging on tears when she turned to face Daryl one more time. "Look, I respect your opinion, but it is my decision to make and if the rest of the party has no objections I would like to tag along."

"I don't see how it's any of your business what my girl does." Daryl snapped at Freddy before casting his glare at Songbird. "If you really wanna go, then I guess I have to go too, but I ain't gonna pretend like I think it's right." Songbird just nodded up at him, but didn't look as triumphant as I was sure Freddy did about the outcome.

"So, anybody else?" I asked the group at large.

"I ain't got a lot of room in the truck and we're bringin' people back. I think five is plenty." Daryl said gruffly.

Freddy and I took about half an hour to gather the supplies we thought we would need before meeting the rest of the rescue party out by the truck. Songbird had Michelangelo sitting up front with her and Daryl looked none too pleased, but I couldn't tell if it was because of the dog or his general dislike of the idea of going.

"Is there any way at all that I could talk you into staying?" Rick asked as he lifted me into the truck bed.

"I kinda wish you could, but it would be torture to have to wait for you to come back." I told him softly. "I think it's better that we stay together, don't you?"

"I think it would be better if we were staying together at the compound." He muttered.

"Yeah, like you would have ignored that call for help if I hadn't insisted on going." I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Damn it woman, you know me too well." He said before shutting me up with a kiss.

The trip down to Area two took a while longer than I had anticipated; there were a lot of cars built up on the road and it only got more congested the closer to Wichita we got. Daryl did his best to drive around the build up, but there were times that we had to get out and push the obstructions out of the way.

From the description we were given, we knew that we were going to have to cross a bridge on foot before we actually got to the small correctional facility that served as 'Area two'. The bridge was completely littered with broken down vehicles ranging from a moped hanging on the railing, threatening to fall into the deep ravine below, to a large fuel tankard that was laying on its side .

"I don't like this." Rick said under his breath.

"It's not like we haven't had to get out of the truck before now." Freddy told him dismissively. "And we're lucky we still have some daylight left."

"I don't know." I muttered. "I have a bad feeling about this too."

Songbird nodded at me and stood a little closer to Daryl who said, "We still have a chance to go back home… where we oughta be."

"No." I said resolutely. "We've already lost so much time. I just hope Liz hasn't… well, I just hope we have time to help."

"Alright then," Daryl shouldered his crossbow. "Let's get a move on."

We made our way gingerly over the bridge, checking every car we passed to make sure nothing was waiting there to surprise us. I noticed some movement and turned around; there were a few walkers slowly making their way toward us from the road we'd come from. They must have heard the truck's engine and were only just now reaching us.

Rick noticed that I had stopped and turned to see what had gotten my attention. "Keep moving." He ordered just as Freddy let out a surprised yelp.

By the time we reached him, Songbird had already brought two walkers down with her knives and Freddy was pulling an arrow out of a third's eye socket. "Those fuckers came out of nowhere!" He said through ragged breaths.

I noticed that his shirt was ripped and I ran over to him. "Damn it, Freddy! Are you okay?" I asked, pulling his shirt up to make sure he hadn't been bitten or scratched.

"Yeah, they didn't touch me." He soothed. "Almost… but you know I'm untouchable, Lucy."

"Right." I rolled my eyes just as Rick threw himself in front of me and shot off a round in rapid fire.

"Run!" He yelled at me. I turned to see what he was shooting at and backed into a Dodge Charger when I saw the number of walkers coming at us. I fumbled with my bow, but he grabbed my arm and yanked me away toward the other side of the bridge.

I could see that Daryl had Songbird under his arm as he sprinted past us. "I told y'all we shoulda stayed home." He called back to us. Michelangelo was hot on his heels, but not going nearly as fast as he could be; it looked like he was worrying over Songbird as much as Daryl was.

"Shut up and move!" Rick told him, moving as fast as he could while still shielding me with his body.

"Just go!" I pushed him. "I'm right behind you and I promise I won't do anything stupid."

Daryl got to the gate first. "Let us in!" He yelled out and a short balding man with a bit of a beer belly ran out of the building and opened the gate.

"Hurry up!" He shouted at us.

We all ran in and the men helped him close the gate as quickly as they could just before the walkers caught up with us.

"Where the fuckin' hell were you?" Daryl turned on the man as soon as he knew we were out of immediate danger.

"I could see you from the window. I didn't want to be out here…" The little man started to sweat under our collective derision.

"Just take us to Liz." I muttered and he led us into the building.

The little man's name turned out to be Ed; he tried to give us a bit of a tour on our way to the infirmary, but stopped when he saw that none of us were really interested in anything he had to say.

"Shaun is in there with her." He told us when we reached the sick room. "I hope you know what you're doing because she's been at it for days."

Freddy just walked in without a word and I followed him, trying to soothe the mother and father as a fresh wave of pain washed over her.

"It will be okay." I shushed. "Freddy does this all the time."

"Thank God you've come!" Shaun told us in a crisp British accent.

"Why don't you go try to relax?" I asked, leading him to the door. "This will be a lot easier for both of you if you get some rest."

"I don't want to leave her." He stated, but he sagged against the wall as he said it.

"I promise to come get you at the slightest change." I patted his back and he reluctantly left after giving his wife a kiss on her forehead.

Liz actually did really well in Freddy's competent hands. It turned out that she had been holding back out of fear and her husband's anxiety hadn't helped to ease it in any way. She had a pretty little baby boy… okay… his face was all smashed from being in the birth canal for so long; we'd had to kind of push his nose back into place, but other than that, he had ten fingers and ten toes and Liz thought he was perfect.

I left to gather her husband and Songbird caught me in the hall. "What's happening?" She asked.

"Um, the baby is on the outside, and his mother is feeding him." I said nonchalantly.

"It's a boy? Aww! How cute." She crooned.

"Sure, if you say so." I started to walk away. "Where did Shaun go?"

"Third door on the left." Daryl told me from a bench in the corner as Songbird ignored me and walked into the infirmary. Michelangelo was sitting with his head in Daryl's lap and Daryl was absently stroking his ears back. Poor Daryl, I bet he didn't even realize how much he really liked that dog.

"Thanks." I saluted him and left to find the happy father.

We stayed till morning, refusing the meager breakfast that Shaun offered us; I told him to give mine to Liz because she needed as many extra calories as she could have. We were gathering up the few supplies we'd brought with us when he pulled me off to the side.

"I think that I should tell you that Ed…" He trailed off, looking for the proper way to tell me what he wanted to say. "He…uh… he rigged the bridge with some explosives we found in the armory here."

"What?" I asked. I must have looked pretty shocked because Daryl came over to see what we were talking about.

"We didn't know if any help was coming and it seemed like a logical way to limit access from those things." He explained.

"What seemed like a logical way?" Daryl asked.

"They have explosives on the bridge." I told him.

"So that thing could have blown the entire time we were on it yesterday?" Daryl raised his voice so that everyone in the hall was looking at us now.

"No, no, nothing like that. You have to be out there to do it; we didn't have anything to really detonate it with but a fuse." Shaun went on.

Freddy had helping Liz out of the infirmary, she was able to walk but still weak from being in labor for so long. I was sure that things would be easier for her once she got her belly full and some water back in her system.

"So where do we stand on this whole explosive thing now?" He asked without turning around. "Are we still going to be safe going over the bridge to get home?"

"Fuck yeah! My bomb is the bomb! No worries." Ed assured us. I don't think any of us had it in us to believe him.

Either way, we began the trek over the bridge, now with the added stress of knowing it could only take a spark to end all of our worries for good. The men walked out in front, checking to make sure that nothing was within biting distance while Songbird, Michelangelo and I followed them and Freddy dragged behind, trying his best to help Liz as she attempted to walk.

"I could use some help here!" Freddy shouted and I looked back to see that Liz was doubling over and my brother was close to falling with the woman pulling on one arm and the baby squirming in the other.

Songbird didn't hesitate before running back to relieve him of the baby so he could use both arms to carry Liz. Michelangelo on the other hand stopped for a moment and looked between Daryl and Songbird before choosing to stay with the latter.

I turned back around, but Daryl cursed under his breath. When I spun back around, there was a small hoard of walkers shuffling into the space between my brother and me.

"Freddy!" I called, causing the undead to turn their attention to me.

Shaun had attempted to run to his wife, but it hadn't taken him long to fall. His body was overwrought from the stress of starvation and… well…stress. He collapsed in the middle of the road and Rick and Daryl ran to scoop him up and carry him to the truck.

That was when I noticed Ed. He had a nervous, almost insane glint in his eyes as he began to walk one way, then swiveled on his heels and walked another only to do it again. He stood still for a second, mumbling to himself before digging in his pocket and bringing out a lighter.

It took me a moment to realize what he was going to do, but I still had time to grab his arm and pull it away from the fuse before he had a chance to light it.

We struggled for a few minutes, he looked like he barely knew where he was, so I tried to slap some sense into him. "No! You can't do that! There are still people on the bridge!"

"Fuck them!" He shouted back, trying desperately to throw me off and finally succeeding. "If I don't do something we're all going to die!"

"No! I…am… not…going…to…let…you …do…this!" I panted as I struggled with him.

"Hurry up!" Rick called to me. "Lucy get in the truck. Now!"

I was distracted for long enough for Ed to manage the fuse and run back to the truck.

I could feel my eyes widen in terror and I grasped Daryl's arm for support as I looked back at my brother who was still making slow progress on the first quarter of the bridge, taking even more time now that they had to avoid walkers as well. "Oh God. He lit it." I muttered.

I turned to look at Rick who was torn between coming to get me and guarding the two men in the truck from the ever nearing hoard, then ran back so that Freddy and Songbird could hear me as I yelled. "Go back!" I made my motions as big as I could so they would understand as I waved toward the jail. "Go back! The bridge is going to explode."

There was only a brief moment for the words to sink in before Freddy adjusted the woman in his arms so he could grab onto Songbird's waist and turn on his heels so that they were running back to the relative safety of the corrections facility. 'We can go get them.' I thought as I watched them run through the gate and into the building. "It might take a day or two to go the long way around, but we can get them." I let out a sigh of relief when I saw the door shut behind them.

There was a report as the first explosion went off and pulled me out of my ill timed reverie. I turned, but found myself held in place by what must have been a huge man at some point; all that was left of him now was a gaunt corroded shell covered in lesions and pus. It held on to my arm as I struggled to get free, pulling my kilij from its sheath just as the thing's teeth stabbed into my flesh.

I pulled my blade up and let it fall down on the walker's neck so that it's head rolled by my feet as the rest of its body fell on top of it. "Oh God. Oh God. Oh God." Was all I could think as looked down at the two crescent shaped wounds on my arm. "It wasn't real." I closed my eyes tightly for a moment and opened them again, but the laceration was still there.

I looked up and met Rick's eyes across the bridge. 'Oh God, how could I be so selfish?' I thought as I saw the tears rolling down his eyes. I couldn't bear to look at him, it was too much. Everything had happened in the span of a minute, but in that minute I'd lost everything. I'd cost him everything.

I looked back up, but not at Rick. I looked past him at the ever growing group of walkers making their way toward him and the truck, I glanced over my shoulder and knew that there was really only one thing I could do now. He couldn't hope for me, I couldn't let him bear that; but I could at least save my brother and my friend. There had to be hope somewhere in that.

I put my hand in my pocket and found the little baggie I'd put there. Rick didn't like me to smoke, but I couldn't think of a better time to defy him. It took me a minute to light it because my hands were shaking so violently but somehow I managed. I let myself take a couple of long drags before I looked back at Rick, who was being forcefully dragged back to the truck by Daryl.

"I love you!" I called to him. "And I am so sorry."

I clamped my eyes shut. _'Think of something, anything but this. You're going to die happy damn it!' _

I imagined my mother's face the first time I won ultimate grand supreme at a glitz pageant.

'_No. That didn't make you happy.'_

The feel of wood as my daddy helped me shape my first simple bow.

'_Closer.'_

Me and Freddy sneaking out in the middle of the night to do God knows what .

'_Think harder.'_ I pushed myself.

Ricks hands as they caressed my curves. The husky quality of his voice as he told me he loved me. The look in his eyes when I told him I wanted to marry him.

_This life is over, but at least I was given one last dream to hold on to. _

And I did. I held it close as I let the joint fall from my hand into the pool of gasoline at my feet. The flames licked up my legs as they ran down the streams of fuel to the rest of the explosives.

Rick's voice rang in my ears. _'I love you._'

"I love you too."


End file.
